I'm the worst mom ever

My husband has turned me into the worst mother ever. My husband took a night shift job without talking to me about it. He told me he'd get up at 12pm and help with the baby still before he goes to work so I'm not burnt out but that's not at all what's happening. This man gets up at 3pm if I'm lucky, does what he wants, helps me for maybe 20 minutes, and leaves. So I'm handling our baby all day 24/7 all by myself. Well I want to be a patient, caring, and loving mother but by the end of the day when we get to bed time where she needs me to be all those things most I am the most hateful woman alive. I hate how I am to my baby at night but by the time we get to bed time I'm exhausted and just want to not chase a baby around the house for 20 minutes. I find myself yelling and screaming and doing things that won't hurt my baby but I definitely wouldn't normally do. I hate the woman I've become. I just want to love my daughter again and I want to enjoy being a mom.

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I’m sorry you’re going through this. I also went through this with my firstborn 13 years ago and it definitely did affect her. Unfortunately 13 years later I can see the result of my behaviour in hers and it’s not good. She suffers with depression, suicidal thoughts, self harm & what not.

You should give your partner the ultimatum and make him choose because you ARE doing this on your own and he is a parent too. Make him leave his job/find a new one or leave him because honestly the aggression you get when you expect your partner to help and then they don’t, isn’t worth it.

You may aswell be single and do it alone and not have the expectation and disappointed of him not helping.

I haven’t raised my voice once or really been upset with my now 2 year old because of how badly I suffered with my first. I do highly recommend getting headphones and listening to calming music as much as possible.

Besides that I don’t have much advice, just that I’ve been there and it’s fucking rough

I also want to add that her mental health isn’t solely from my yelling and screaming when she was younger. I did what I could with the resources I had and I’ve learnt in later years to give myself some grace because 13 years ago PPD & PPA wasn’t even a thing that was talked about, I just thought I was a bad mum and wasn’t meant to be a parent.

I wish I could help out every mum suffering in this way cause it’s a shit time for sure 🙁❤️‍🩹

in our community

Am I doing something wrong?

I’m so frustrated, I feel like I’m failing, like I’m doing something wrong with my 1 year old. He still doesn’t get he needs to tilt his head back to drink from a cup, and I can’t figure out how to teach him that.
Also he used to climb the stairs no problem and two weeks after putting up a gate now everytime I ask him to fo upstairs he just freezes and I have to carry him up.
And lastly, his feeding. Pediatrician told us no more formula and only 16oz of whole milk a day. Got it, but how much food are you guys feeding your toddlers? He woke up at 5am today hungry, like I’m clearly not doing something right, and now I’m exhausted, and I want my baby to succeed, and be independent and I get so frustrated and sad like I’m bad at being a mom.

And on top of that, we have this friend couple that had their baby girl a week after out baby was born and the guy keeps comparing our kids and I get so annoyed, there’s nothing wrong with my baby boy but it makes me feel even worse.

Sorry, I needed to vent

Realising you married the wrong person

We were once in love, a decade ago. Now just two ships passing in the night. No friendship no intimacy no relationship nothing. I’m 6 months postpartum and suddenly my hormones seem to have plummeted I feel so low and I don’t know why. I love my children but all I seem to do is snap at them. I haven’t spoken to my husband in days. I just walked into his office and said “sometimes it’s nice to have someone to speak to” and he replied “I’m good I don’t need anyone to speak to” when I explained I was speaking about myself he responded “I asked if you were ok you said you was fine” put his headphones back on and looked back at his screen.
I think it’s time to leave.

Lies about applying for jobs

I feel crazy AF going to look at his job applying apps.....but he's a applied to 12 jobs last time he applied was a month ago.....
He keeps talking about needing a job but games all day and reads manga......
At this point as a disabled mom I need to find a job that'll accommodate my need for a walker or allowing me to sit. I can't keep waiting on him....
He just got done talking about wanting a game which I usually would buy for him but this is getting old and in at my limits.
Ive paid for cigs, phone bills, energy drinks, his rental(before it got repossessed).
He thinks he owes me nothing cause he used the car for the family but I'm on SSI....i pay all of my bills alone.....hes never paid for a bill I'm over him making mistakes which causes me financial strain.

Refusing food & milk

Not sure what’s going on this evening. Picked my son up from nursery and he was fine and happy. Came home and eventually started dinner. As soon as I sat him in his chair and started feeding him he went into a huge meltdown and it’s taken half an hour to calm him down. He didn’t eat any of it. We offered a yoghurt which he usually loves but he didn’t want it, ate a slice of toast fine. Have offered him his bedtime bottle (cows milk) which he usually loves but he’s being really funny with it. He is really unsettled and sad. Usually loves his food. He takes a pack lunch to nursery which they get at 11:30 so I know everything he’s eaten through the day and it wouldn’t be enough for him to be too full for dinner. Not seen him like this before☹️ Stupidly cooked a meal for my husband and I which has now gone stone cold and can’t be eaten😫

Baby food processor

Are baby food processors with it? The ones that cook, steam, puree etc? Or have you found it better just cooking on the hob?

Wisdom tooth removal

I’m due to have my wisdom tooth removed next week, i wasn’t nervous until i googled it and now I’m freaking out. Although i know i need to have it removed because it’s causing so much pain and multiple infections.
But also i have a 2 year old, and although my partner will be home the evening of me having it done, he will be working the next day. Will i be capable of looking after my son the day after?
Also, any tips and advice would be greatly appreciated and reassuring comments to! 😩
Thanks