Husband being weird
So I’m 8 months postpartum and I’m starting to feel more like myself and like I can do things outside of trying to survive with my baby. I will admit that I had some pretty difficult time getting back into sex with my husband, especially because I’m the sole one taking care of the baby (my first, never have even babysat), but I have been having sex more often, even if I’m not 100% in the mood for it. My husband has been complaining and moaning about how I’m not doing it as much as I used to, and that I should be doing it all the time and can take a break for a moment from the baby. Yes, he has acknowledged that I’ve been making an effort to do it more, but he’s also still complaining. Tonight, when I got back from visiting with my baby at my mom’s, he’s been super weird with me. I asked for a hug and he said “yeah, do whatever you need to do” but when I asked if he didn’t want one or if he wanted to give me a kiss, he was like “I’m just not in the mood.” But it’s almost in like a petty tone, not actually sounding drained or like he needs some alone time (which I get). He’s chatting with me and being around me otherwise, just won’t be affectionate. I honestly don’t mind if that’s really how he feels tonight, but it came out of nowhere and I feel like he’s doing it to be petty because I didn’t have sex yesterday or today (he got home later and I had to do stuff for the baby yesterday, and I was visiting with my mom tonight and had to get the baby to bed earlier because she refused a nap). Am I overthinking this?
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You’re not overthinking it. I think a lot of new moms go through this after having a baby. Your body, your mind, and your whole life change, and it takes time to feel like yourself again. Sex shouldn’t feel like an obligation or something you have to do to keep your husband happy.
It’s great that you’re making an effort, but your husband also needs to understand that intimacy is not just about sex. Feeling supported, appreciated, and loved often helps desire come back naturally. Taking care of a baby all day is exhausting, and you deserve compassion too.
I would try talking to him when you’re both calm and not during a disagreement. Tell him how his comments and his distance make you feel, and ask him what he really needs too. Hopefully you can both work on reconnecting without either of you feeling pressured or rejected
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