Food addiction and food noise

I am so sick of the cycle, I can't get out of it.
I track my calories to try and avoid overeating and to lose weight but uts honestly taking over every thought and making me feel so depressed and stuck and FAT. I just can't lose weight no matter how hard I try.

I always do really well during the day, but by the time I have dinner I am so hungry, I eat my dinner and then I just want to stuff my face with whatever I can find.

I've tried snacking on strawberries because I enjoy them and they're obviously low calorie but I can't keep buying crates and crates of strawberries, I have a toddler who eats them too, we'll go into debt at the rate he eats strawberries too 😅

I'm trying my best to find low calorie, high volume foods to eat when I'm getting the urge to snack and binge but so far I only have a couple things that work and I need more options. Obviously I want to avoid binging but it just feels impossible, so if I'm going to do it, I don't want it to mess my calories deficit too much. I just always feel hungryyyy.

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Could you share some example meals you might have? Might just be an ‘imbalance’ of certain foods, I am rubbish with calorie deficit personally as I’m the same and always starving by the end of day, especially since having the baby, and usually it’s because I am just crap at balancing like protein / carbs etc. x

Honestly, I spent about 9mos in the gym 6 days a week (got pregnant and put on bed rest so I stopped) and counted/tracked my calories for only the first month.

I learned what worked for me, what foods and meals I genuinely enjoyed and then just used common sense the rest of the time. In those 9mos I went from 295 down to 214 and down several pant sizes, and was finally wearing jeans again. Worse leggings at the gym only.

My partner has this and went on munjaro which stopped the food noise and decreased his appetite/ dulled his love for food. He’s been off it now for a few months and has put a little back on but feels more in control

How many calories are you eating in a day? Is it possible you're not eating enough to begin with?

Planning meals is a game changer. People talk sooo much about meal prep but I promise it works.

I like to eat high protein for training, so I try to add volume with water veggies. Kimchi, cucumber, pickles, jicama, lettuce, pepper. Also how are your meals structured? If you don't have enough fat or fiber, you're doing yourself a disservice.
Avocado, beans, berries are a good compliment.

Also yogurt has become one of my fav snacks. Not sure what country you're in but I love oikos triple zero or pro. Easily 300 cal of yogurt with toppings (oats, seeds, nuts, fruit) can satisfy you.

What do your meals typically look like? Are you eating enough protein and fibre as that is what keeps you satiated.

I lost 20kg whilst breastfeeding in a calorie deficit and never felt hungry.

I made sure I was basing most of my meals around a protein like chicken, mince meat etc, lots of veggies and a carb source like rice or potato's.

Breakfast was usually eggs and whole grain bread with some cottage cheese and mackerel

in our community

What would you do

Growing up, I’d say my mom was semi neglectful. She’d do a food shop, but never make us food. As young children we’d only eat something that was already made, most of the time just pre-packaged snacks and very rarely proper meals. Emotionally she was unavailable, spent most of her weekends with friends while we were shipped to my dads/grandmas. When she was home, her head was in her phone, and it was impossible to get conversation out of her. Our relationship was so rocky for a while, but in recent years we’re on good terms now I have my own house and family.

When she first offered to have my child overnight, everything was fine. She’d have him once a month and this worked for about a year. But after that things have started to go downhill. He returns and his clothes smell of cigarette smoke, even more so after she’s washed them. So I asked her to just return his dirty clothes and I’d wash them at home. She took this really personally, but agreed. Even clean spare clothes I sent over there come back smelly. I’ll ask her what he’s eaten and she often lists snacks and sweets. My toddler is a really good eater so would eat a meal she gave him. I’ll often call when he’s there to find out what he’s eaten, and when I tell her to give him a proper meal she’ll ask him if he wants it, as if it’s not a given that he’ll want proper food. When she drops him back off at home, his nappy is often really full and on the verge of leaking. This is all things I’ve talked to her about before and explained I’m not happy with.

What’s really got me was today she has dropped my 6 month old baby home, soaking wet in sweat. He had on a sleepsuit, and when I picked him up out of the car seat he was so wet I thought his nappy had exploded but no, he was sweating. I asked if she’d had aircon on in the car (given the current heat) and she said no. I flipped and lost it. I don’t feel comfortable leaving her to care for them anymore which is unfortunate as I think she has good intentions but is not able to carry out the care they need. I feel so disappointed in her for letting me down and in myself for hoping she had changed. I’ve had so many conversations with her about these things and she always meets me with a condescending “i know how to look after kids i looked after you”

For now my plan is to limit contact to day time and at my house/ public. Which is so sad as she is our only support system.

Should I apologise?

So basically my MIL was meant to come over at 9am. She delayed to 2pm, then 3 pm then 4pm.

When she said it would now be 4pm I said we were heading out to a park around the corner, shady and got a lovely breeze and they could meet us there.

She messaged to say she couldn't do that because going outside in this heat is dangerous and she will meet us at the house. (25 degrees)

I then said my children were climbing the walls so we were heading out and we would love to see her there or we could reschedule to a cooler day.

She didn't come and told my partner I need to apologise because I hurt her feelings.

His dark cloud is affecting us all

My partner had a mental breakdown recently and he's really struggling. He's trying hard but he just can't seem to find any joy in life or stop worrying about things..
I'm trying really hard to be supportive and make sure he doesn't have any stresses but it's really starting to get to me now. I feel numb, I am tired, I am moody, I can't be bothered. I feel like I am being snappy at the kids or just ignoring them. Then I feel guilty. I want to cry but I can't even summon tears tbh. His family have been supportive and he has been reaching out to people for help but I still feel overwhelmed. I am worried about him and I feel like I am not able to help him.
I'm tired.

Thank you for reading, maybe I just needed to vent.

Daycare

If you choose not to send your 2-year-old to daycare since you are at home and don't work but your mother in law and her family members took it upon themselves to register him what would you do? Especially after saying countless times your not sending your child to daycare.

Boy mom to future mother in law

I hope I’m not alone in feeling like this, and I hope this post doesn’t make me the icky sort of boy mom I have a fear of becoming.

I am a mom to only boys, so in the future I may find myself being someone’s mother in law, and grandma on the dad’s side. Being a mother myself, I know how much I felt like I wanted my mom in that postpartum period, and the early years of my boys life. I haven’t spoke to him about it but I wondered if my partner also felt the same way. Naturally I went to my own mother for advice, help and support, my mother in law often being a last resort. I noticed I did this with my first and swore to myself to not abandon or neglect her with my second, although it was completely unintentional the first time around. I know mother in laws get a bad rep for unsolicited advice, unwelcomed visits and so on, and I never want to be that mother in law. My own mother in law respected our boundaries, if anyone pushed them it was often my own mother.

Part of me mourns a future where my sons with probably not need me in those times as much as their partner needs their mother, and I know that’s okay, I know that’s how I felt. I’m not the sort of person who would demand to see a baby or show up unnanounced, if they asked me to stay away I would. I don’t know what the point in writing this is, I guess I just wondered if any other boy moms felt the same way.

Opinion pls.

Child’s father is in another state, once I’m in active labor he’d either catch a flight or drive down here (10-11 hr drive)

Usually ppl are in the hospital for 1-2 days. He is only coming to see the baby then going home i believe. Isn’t that pointless? Or not really? I’m a first time mom so I’m trying to time everything

(To add to the post he is only coming to see baby in the hospital, once discharged he’ll be making his way back on the road)