50/50 in parenting

I am a first time mother of a 5 month old and I’m struggling to make my husband understand that he isn’t doing enough. He does a lot so thinks that’s fine but when I ask him to do one thing off his ‘dad’ schedule, it’s always done with reluctance. I’m sick of repeating myself of how unfair it is so I have told him I will not say it again as I’m done feeling bad about it. Now how can I actually fix this.

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Can we get a little more details? What’s his dad schedule? What does he actually do and what are you wanting him to do that he isn’t doing?

Amen. Nope, you can’t control baby sleeping nice for dad. Dad just does his best, as do you. He can complain, it’s his right too, but yeah it would be nice if they would complain/cope about the baby not them having to actually do stuff for the baby… like complain about how bby was, not that he had to watch them in general. Parenting should be 50/50 but so many guys out there thing wife and kids is just a cool hobby to sometimes indulge in… my husband has a very demanding job and I work very very part time, but everything—kids, house, shopping, his wants and needs are all on my plate. Ontop of parenting and everything else. Yes he brings home the money but I thought we signed 50/50 having kids. Sad to see so much backing out and soooo much complaining even though when I complain they have hardly any sympathy. Lol sorry for both of us :,) hopefully it gets better for you soon

My baby is also 5 months and I do all night shifts (not many now) and I'm with the baby everyday, however on the weekend we are both with the baby. My partner works long hours but when he's not working he plays with our baby, feeds her, etc. It used to bother me that I do mostly everything but he's the one working and allowing me to take a full year off to just be with the baby so I try not to get angry about it. I think it really depends on your situation, it can be very difficult

I mean this in no disrespectful way, but there is no such thing as a “dad schedule” you are a mom 24/7 as he’s a dad 24/7. Parenting and marriage (even relationships without marriage) are partnerships. You are partners, meaning you should both be able to lean on eachother, help, carry and support. You are allowed to ask for help without being met with complaint or resistance. I’m sorry you’re going through this 💗

in our community

Argument with husband

Would you be annoyed/upset if you were meeting some friends for a drink and you’d got yourself and your son ready and as you were putting your shoes on and getting your toddler’s bag of things together, your husband just left the house with your son and didn’t communicate he was going to start walking ahead? I phoned him and he said he was on his way to the pub. I’d got our son ready and was getting my own shoes on and his snacks and bag together and he didn’t have the decency to wait for me so we could walk to the pub together, or even communicate he was going to walk ahead.

2 year age gap advice

I’ve only just found out I’m pregnant so excuse me mildly crashing out out of pure fear and anxiety.
Of course I’m over the moon and so blessed that I get to do this all over again and make my son a big brother but it’s really just hit me how the hell am I going to do this. I know people do very often have more than 1 child but he’ll be just over 2 by the time this baby is born and he’ll still need me so much I’ve got so many thoughts going round my head of how I’ll cope as I know how time and life consuming newborns are and I don’t ever want him to feel left out. Please tell me these are normal thoughts and it will all work out somehow 😅

Resent my partner

Is it wrong to resent my partner since having our little girl? I’m so tired of having to think for him aswell, he just goes to work, has a shower or chills, has a lie in etc, whatever works for him. But if I ask for some help around the house, with her or to go and do anything for me it’s like a massive favour. Or at least that’s how I’m made to feel.
I’m starting to feel it would be easier doing it on my own rather than having to think for him aswell. At least if you no you’ve got to do it all you get on with it rather than waiting or hoping someone else will help you.

Toilet

What are we doing with our Velcro babies when we need the toilet, specifically if we know we are going to be in there a while. He hates a bouncer etc. I’ve just had to lay him on a towel on the floor and he was fine, but feels super unhygienic
For reference this is what we have to do. There was a big smile for once😂

Peppa pig world for a 5 month old

I need an opinion, please. I want to know whether I'm being selfish.
My daughter is 5 months and 3 weeks old. My partner has two other children with his ex a 7 year girl and a 3 year oldboy. He wants to take the children to Peppa Pig World next week, but it will be the last week of my maternity leave. On top of that, I think my daughter is still far too young. She's formula-fed, enjoys having her naps during the day, struggles to sleep in her pram, and much prefers a calm environment. I feel really guilty about taking her somewhere she won't even enjoy, and I honestly think she'll end up struggling for two whole days afterwards. We're also taking the children abroad in September for 7 days to an all inclusive hotel with lots of activities specifically for children. I'm worried about that as well because I'll be introducing purées to my daughter and I don't know how I'm going to manage her food while we're there. Even so, I agreed because I also want to see the kids happy. Do you think it would be selfish of me to say no to him about going to Peppa Pig World? I told him he could take the children on his own and that I'd be completely happy with that, but he wouldn't accept it.

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