Past time investment, what's too much...
My partner leads a large band and it's doing very well but I resent his success. I'm proud of him but also angry. It means more days away. We had a baby 4 months ago and have toddler child. He says he would support me if it was me in this situation. I just can't imagine being so invested in something else than the family especially with kids being so young.
He is hands on with the kids, often makes dinner, groceries. But he does neglect some things at home.
Our family often goes and supports him, including overseas. He spends a lot of time to plan and practice. He has events at least once a week all day. The drama of the band makes him in a mood. He stresses when he is a home leading up to events. Always on his phone to respond correspondence for it. This is his past time not his full time job.
I want to support him but I also think it's unfair because my world is small right now. He is really good at it, too. Living his best life. I don't have a question but am hoping to get some retrospective.
The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.
My husband is also in a band. Nothing big however it does take up a lot of time. He has practices twice a week on Tuesday and Thursdays from 5:30pm-8pm and once a month he will play at a club for a few hours on the weekends.
I also feel like a single parent and get aggravated when he’s gone. I have 5 kids and I’m 30 weeks pregnant. I’m extremely exhausted, and need his help a lot. I feel like his hobby is more important than spending time with his family. Makes me sad.
I feel like it’s okay to have a hobby as long as it doesn’t interfere with your home life. I remember when my parents were always too busy with work, to spend time with me. I don’t want my kids to feel like my husband’s hobby is more important than spending time with them.
my husband is also a touring musician. having a partner who travels and is physically not able to be present at many times is definitely challenging, but it kinda sounds like the real issue is him not having work/life balance, which is relevant for people in all industries and not music specific.
is he receptive when you talk to him about needing more present/active support when he’s home?
Download the Peanut App
