Cruise time!!

Going on a my very first cruise at the end of the month…. But I have no cruise clothes (if that make sense?) I have sahm clothes….🤦‍♀️ been window shopping on SHEIN but I probably won’t ever get my cruise clothes☹️ I need a job!!! I need spending moneys that I know I can spend😩😩😩

Do I spend the hubbies money and not tell him? Maybe get him so cruise clothes too so he can’t get TOO UPSET about it??? Do I just beg?? Idk what to do but they’re all almost sold out🫪

in our community

The Default Parent

How crazy it must be to wake up, shower, get ready for work, and just have your baby fed, dressed, and packed for daycare.

Or not know the last time they ate, or worry that they are getting enough vegetables and home cooked food (along side canned/prepped stuff, we are human).
Or not know what clothes fits them and what needs to be donated. Or not know their shoe size.

Don’t get me wrong. My husband is amazing and does way more than the average man (I think). He is in charge of bedtime, plays with her a ton, and talks to/teaches her about everyday things (like she is a little adult already). It’s just wild being the default parent sometimes.

Nursery cost - how are you splitting?

How are you and your partner splitting nursery costs? 50/50? Or based upon earnings?

Comments very welcome!

Partner struggles

Hey all I need to have a little vent. I don’t know if I’m hormonal or if I really should change things up.

So for a bit of context I’ve been with my partner for 3 years now. We have a nearly 2 year old and a 6 week old baby. I moved into my fiancés family’s house 6 months into our relationship and we bought a flat and moved into it the day before my first son was born. Since moving into our own flat together he’s never helped with any kind of house work or anything like that. When we had our son my fiancé started staying at work longer so he wouldn’t need to help as much with our son. My fiancé does work daft hours he works from 3am till midday. He will come home and go to bed till about 4/5pm. He will get up and go to play bowls nearly every night. He will come home about 9/10pm after our sons in bed so he only sees our son for a couple of hours if he’s lucky. He wouldn’t be able to tell anyone what our son’s allergic to or know what his routine is like.

If I ask for help with the house or look after our son while I get the jobs done around the house that need doing it’s a moaning match about how he’s tired and needs his bed. And I get that he works and that he is the only one working so we can have a roof over our heads but lately it feels like I’m a single mum who just lives with a man. Who earns all the money and who controls all our money. We always seem to be struggling lately and he makes good money so I don’t know where most of the money is going to make us struggle like we are. I have no access to the money or accounts. If we need things for the boys I need to explain why we need it. Or if we need a food shop or anything I’m given £50 cash to do that shop.

We were arguing a lot during my 2nd pregnancy about how my partner might need to give up his bowling for a while just so I can get some help with the boys but he seems to be bowling more and staying even later at work. I don’t know if it’s just my post partum hormones but the last few weeks I’ve wanted to murder him as he’s no help what so ever. My family lives about an hour away and we only have my partners work car so I can’t go and see them very often or get any kind of help from them. Am I being a bitch and hormonal for thinking that I’d be better leaving him and living on my own with my boys. This is an extremely hard decision to make. Do I stay and put up with this or do I leave and make a better life for me and the boys. Another thing is I don’t know how to love him anymore when all he does is put himself and his wants before his kids and myself. I hate the idea of leaving him as my son absolutely adores his dad even though he barely sees him.

Sorry for the massive rant but I just need some advice. Also here’s a photo of my two boys.

Feeling frustrated !

So me and my partner are buying our first home. It’s an exciting and stressful time and process. We have viewed a few properties lately and had one viewing booked today (in a different area than the previous ones we have viewed).

It’s been booked in since last week (he booked it), and I confirmed with him Saturday if we were still going and all was fine. He hasn’t mentioned anything today about it, and we were supposed to go at 4pm. So I text to ask him if we are still going and he responded that it’s been cancelled.

I asked him why/what’s the reason and he responded ‘not feeling it’. At that point I got frustrated and text him that I think we need to have a discussion about this, that I don’t think it’s fair he’s making decisions without communicating with me first.

He responded calling me a stupid idiot. Needless to say I am FUMING and so frustrated! I was looking forward to viewing this property as it’s in a different location, and I feel like we need to physically go to these towns and areas to get an idea of the vibe, I don’t think it’s fair he’s cancelling without letting me know and this is the 2nd time this has happened.

I’m even more angry at his childish rude response to me.

Would you be mad?

I know I will get hate for this but it really PISSES ME OFF how my 7 year old sometimes still wets the bed and my 2 year old never does!!!

My 7 year old is clever, knows when she needs a pee and only ever wets the nbed when she is still awake (comes down to tell us)

I get this could be for attention but she gets mountains of attention every day and we don’t regret badly or give her loads of attention when it happens. Just say ‘don’t worry’ and change the sheets and tuck her back in with minimal fuss.

She has a bathroom right next to her room and lights are on for her to see etc.
Just winds me up that it keeps happening when I know there is nothing stopping her from knowing when to go and also being able to!

Is this normal....

My husband is obsessed with time... my daughter has a strict schedule which we created with the help of chatgpt. They change all the time so I need to update them all the time. But I have to plan every minute of the day, how much development time she does (the number of minutes she has for tummy time, kneeling, transition practice, standing etc. We are trying to get her to crawl) what i do when shes napping, the best time for visitors to come, when we both shower etc. My husband works from home and i feel our life is so regimented... my husband says that every successful household are strict with time and that time is money!

I grew up in a household that had routine but flexibility and all this rigidness is suffocating me to the point that I actually hate motherhood....

We even have 2 cameras over her cot (one just a standard monitor and the other is recording camera so we can see exactly what time she wakes up in the morning).

We log everything in huckleberry, weigh her solids and he is obsessed with checking the data...

Is this how everyone else lives their life? Or am I the one that's completely mad here???