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Baby Daddy Drama

Partner struggles

Hey all I need to have a little vent. I don’t know if I’m hormonal or if I really should change things up.

So for a bit of context I’ve been with my partner for 3 years now. We have a nearly 2 year old and a 6 week old baby. I moved into my fiancés family’s house 6 months into our relationship and we bought a flat and moved into it the day before my first son was born. Since moving into our own flat together he’s never helped with any kind of house work or anything like that. When we had our son my fiancé started staying at work longer so he wouldn’t need to help as much with our son. My fiancé does work daft hours he works from 3am till midday. He will come home and go to bed till about 4/5pm. He will get up and go to play bowls nearly every night. He will come home about 9/10pm after our sons in bed so he only sees our son for a couple of hours if he’s lucky. He wouldn’t be able to tell anyone what our son’s allergic to or know what his routine is like.

If I ask for help with the house or look after our son while I get the jobs done around the house that need doing it’s a moaning match about how he’s tired and needs his bed. And I get that he works and that he is the only one working so we can have a roof over our heads but lately it feels like I’m a single mum who just lives with a man. Who earns all the money and who controls all our money. We always seem to be struggling lately and he makes good money so I don’t know where most of the money is going to make us struggle like we are. I have no access to the money or accounts. If we need things for the boys I need to explain why we need it. Or if we need a food shop or anything I’m given £50 cash to do that shop.

We were arguing a lot during my 2nd pregnancy about how my partner might need to give up his bowling for a while just so I can get some help with the boys but he seems to be bowling more and staying even later at work. I don’t know if it’s just my post partum hormones but the last few weeks I’ve wanted to murder him as he’s no help what so ever. My family lives about an hour away and we only have my partners work car so I can’t go and see them very often or get any kind of help from them. Am I being a bitch and hormonal for thinking that I’d be better leaving him and living on my own with my boys. This is an extremely hard decision to make. Do I stay and put up with this or do I leave and make a better life for me and the boys. Another thing is I don’t know how to love him anymore when all he does is put himself and his wants before his kids and myself. I hate the idea of leaving him as my son absolutely adores his dad even though he barely sees him.

Sorry for the massive rant but I just need some advice. Also here’s a photo of my two boys.