Am I a bad mom?

Not a bad mom at all. Are you paying for childcare whilst he is sat home not working?

1) bad moms don’t usually question if they’re bad moms. The fact that you’re worried already speaks for itself imo
2) this sounds like financial abuse. Have you said all this to him/ considered couple therapy? :) either way I wish you the best. I’m sorry you’re going thru this

I wouldn’t say a bad mom, but you’re not being a good example for your kids (or yourself) by drowning yourself like this. Otherwise, they’ll think that’s normal. You’re just with a loser, and bearing the costs of that—literally and figuratively.

If you partner cannot provide financially you have to ask yourself two questions:

a) Is he a net negative or positive for your household? If he is taking more than he gives, this needs to be addressed. Men & women have duties to each other in every relationship. Relationships should not be transactional, don’t think about keeping score of chores but how does he reciprocate in other ways?

b) if you can address it, is he willing to step up and do what it takes to at least even the playing field? Can you realistically go from doing 80% of everything down to 60% and then keep working at it? if he isn’t, there’s your answer. But I’d just like to add based on a previous comment, not everything is “abuse” some people are just bad with money or have poor planning skills and that can be improved with learning how to harness delayed gratification. It’s a maturity issue a lot of the time.