Marriage

Ladies, would you be comfortable with your husband being around his brother who’s also married but openly cheating on his wife and having a girlfriend? And even being on FaceTime calls with the brother and the girlfriend? I’m never around when he talks to the brother and girlfriend on the phone.

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Nop! Not comfortable at all!! Speak up you don’t want that bad energy entering your life! 😊

I would be very careful because he’s normalizing it and the line is very thin

absolutely not. you need to tell him that he needs to cut his brother off until he tells his wife about the girlfriend or you’re going to tell his wife everything yourself. do not let that girl spend one more moment getting cheated on, especially if they have kids. wouldn’t you want her to do the same for you if it was vice versa and she knew about your man talking to another woman? you also just don’t want that energy in your life/daily atmosphere. letting it be might give your husband the slightest idea in his subconscious that you won’t care or won’t do anything about it if it was him doing the dirt or even if there’s someone out there trying to make a move on him.

Absolutely not. If he’s not calling his brother out on that vile behavior then I would be afraid it would become normalized in his mind. Why isn’t anyone talking to her about it?

I don’t like being around any enabler. Ppl who lack the spine to call it out are jus as guilty as the ppl commiting the fuckery. Thats why in the court of law they even persecute the getaway driver cuz their hands are jus as dirty if they are helping, enabling or protecting especially when they know the shit ain’t right. It’s an integrity issue & I can’t feel comfortable around ppl who lack it. Thats not a safe place and they are not safe ppl. Please tell ur Husband to do the right thing. Even if it will dissapoint his brother. Tell him that he doesn’t have to support his brother in foolishness. Bt honestly it’s a red flag 🚩 birds of a feather fly/flock together
I would start talking to ur SIL (ur BIL wife)

If his wife knows he has a gf and is okay with them being casual and open about it, it's not cheating. They have an open marriage or similar arrangement and while that's not for everyone, it's not a germ to catch. So your husband, if he's loyal to the agreement of your marriage, won't/can't be influenced by his brothers relationship.
I'd be fine with it 🤷🏽‍♀️
Also it could be isolating if friends/family in traditional marriages stop talking to you JUST because (as consenting adults) you've decided to have an alternative relationship

in our community

Go or not?

So me and my husband got into a big argument on Wednesday. He chose to sleep in a separate room and not talk to me for 2 days. Today I approached him to make it good and he went off again yelling. Yes I was wrong and I took accountability for my actions and apologized, but he haven't and won't. Anyway. On Saturday we have a 7 day cruise. Me, him, baby, and him mom. We are all staying in 1 room. It's all paid for and excursions paid also. Now, if this is how it is now, do I go? He doesn't speak to me, like how do I go and enjoy this? Like if don't go I would cost him 3,500$ since the baby will not be going either. Like I'm so torn. I don't want to make this worse, but at the same time I don't know if he's willing to make it good. Help! What should I do

Fines for holidays

I don't understand. Why are parents not collectively kicking off about this ? Striking ? Refusing?

Maybe controversially, but I'm a teacher myself.

Yes, it is super annoying when a child takes off 2 weeks for hol. But, will they make some awesome memories and have precious family downtime? Very likely.

All the fines do (which were introduced by government) is drive a wedge between usually families that are on board with school policies.

It increases lies. Why tell school your child will be off for 2 days and just say they're unwell?

Then, I see absurd comments like 'well techers strike' or 'well teachers have INSET days'. What? We can't train and teach a class simultaneously. A lot of the strikes have for 10+ years not only been about pay freezes but also cuts to funding!! Which some parents are only realising now! Like the fines are even our choice 🤣🤣. 99% of teachers have nothing to do with attendance - we just say if someone is in or not. Even headteachers, who previously had more power, can't really say much over authorised or unauthorised now.

Yes, there are families and safeguarding issues that these fining policies are meant to prevent/protect but it doesn't always do that!!!!

It feelslike the easiest thing to do is bash teachers on social media rather than doing anything about it 🤷‍♀️

Also, don't forget some of us are parents and teachers and these issues do also affect us and our familes!!

Moral dilemma

If a family member's partner was going through a hard time and went to kiss you, you moved and they immediately apologised and seemed very remorseful, would you tell their wife? Their wife has commented that her life would end if they weren't together, he otherwise treats her really well and they have children together.

Really struggling

I have no one I can talk to about this so just gonna post here. I’m really struggling atm mainly financially as in I have £0 and I’m running low on food in the house and I can’t find any help and I’ve asked my family but they’re all too busy eating out and telling me they’re skint to help me. I don’t expect help but it just hurts to see it. I just feel awful for my kids because they don’t know how bad things are and my local food bank is shut atm and there’s nothing I can do. Just want to cry. I’m just making sure the kids eat and I don’t care about myself at this point.

Am I the Ahole?

Husband was in the bathroom and his phone was vibrating, went to check it and something said go through his texts & lo and behold this man is cheating on me! I look the #s on cash app and they all ugly! So now I feel unwanted and am I ugly to him? I know I fell off but I’m stuck in a house with 6 children, just had a baby last October and now I’m 9 weeks pregnant now. He says it’s nothing but these texts says otherwise! You supposed to be fixing cars and you out here servicing females in another way…no wonder he never have money!

How do I handle this?

Husband and I are supposed to be staying overnight with friends 2hrs away tomorrow. My mom will have our toddler.

We got into an argument the night before last. He’s been at work (works 24h shifts) so we haven’t had time to talk everything out. I was VERY upset and even told my mom I just want to take my daughter and leave. Things don’t feel resolved. Should we still try to salvage it and go?