Should grandparents charge for child care?
So my BD (his family is Mexican) keeps saying that we need to give his mom money for child care. I’ve talked to my mom (we’re Filipino) about it and she says never in her life has my grandparents on both sides of the family asked my parents for money to watch my siblings and I.
Idk if it’s a cultural thing or whatever. Mind you I let my MIL live in my home for 2 years free and she never followed my rules by simply not wearing her nasty shoes in the house(she’d be in the backyard stepping on dog shit then wear those same shoes in my house walking everywhere) and she would purposely disorganize everything, leaving her shit everywhere. Never offer to cook or help out not even clean. Again, mind you I work an hour 30 mins away from home, so I’d have to come home then cook for my family let alone her son and her expected me feed her too ? (She’s a grown ass adult that can feed herself, you’re a roommate atp.)
In my opinion, she’s living in my home because NO ONE WANTED HER (her own children) Her other son is a crack head drug addict and almost killed her and the neighbors around them because he lit their apt on fire. She allowed him to do drugs and got her section 8 voucher taken away from her and evicted. Me being nice I took her in….
Long story short, what the fuck am I doing wrong…. I feel like I can’t voice my opinions about his mom because he gets so defensive of her. Which idk why, when she was fucked up to me and disrespectful. This has been going on for 6- almost 7 years. I voice my opinions about me feeling like I’m losing my shit at home because I went back to work and everything is a disaster at home… he doesn’t care. I tell him, I don’t feel great, I don’t sleep in, mentally I do not want to be alive…. I’ve been on anxiety and depression meds… I just want to pack my shit and leave. Idk who to tell. I just don’t know anymore. I’ve told him that I don’t feel like living and I feel like I’m drowning within all this stuff…. And his response: well I’m at work, I don’t get enough sleep(he gets more sleep than me)
I want to give up. I’m not happy with life right now and I’m tired of trying to fake shit.
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It sounds like you have a husband issue. He doesn't set boundaries at all and that's not normal to have a grown up living under your roof without respecting your rules. I'm not Mexican but I live in Mexico and my husband and in laws are Mexicans. They are also very respectful of our boundaries and wouldn't ever ask to be paid for watching our son. Also they watch him once a week maybe... If it was full time while we work it would be very different. They do NOT live with us. If I would host my suegra full time I would expect her to step in house chores and child care. Your situation sounds very unfair to you. I would leave and go to my parents house. She can stay with her useless son.
If someone is watching your kid routinely while you work, I think you should offer to pay them
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