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Step Mamas 🇺🇸

How are people coping with step mom dynamics ?

I admit im struggling . For example , constant drama and I naturally disconnect for my own sanity . Then I heal or try to and I find myself thinking “not my problem” more often than not when situations arise . I think I’ve adapted that mentality so hard that I just don’t care if my step daughter wants to come over . Like I care and love her but I don’t believe in spoiling endlessly just to stay relevant for the visit and then enabling her behavior just to not upset her . I’ve chosen my own peace and my own sanity to the point where I just don’t even want to contribute to her life as a parent figure. I say that because I have my own daughter to worry about and I feel like my presence shouldn’t be an option but suddenly when I’m needed I’m a parent figure and all things in the positive or asset wise should be split with her . Mentally I’m disconnected in that aspect . I feel like I read a thread on here where step moms take on an aunt role where they’re an adult figure in the step child’s life but ultimately the responsibility should fall between bio parents especially if I have no say in their life. When she’s here cool we’ll hang out and I’ll care for her provide guidance when asked etc but I’m coming to the point where I’m accepting this whole mentality of literally she’s not my responsibility . I know this sounds toxic to some extent but also to some extent I have so much more peace now .