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Intimacy & Relationships

No judgement please

My partner spends irresponsibly and I've been bringing it to his attention for months now to get him to cut back and he's not responding. We have a budget that he never sticks to. We sit down and plan it every month but then he just treats it like he can spend it how he likes probably because he's the only one earning right now. I'm contributing with savings which has been my huge mistake. Last night I went to him to say that I'm concerned we're not going to have enough money to pay for rent next month. He sternly said to me ok tell me what to do about that. I'm not going to tell him what to do and I told him that and that I just need us to communicate these issues and maybe try to tackle them together. His response was that he has nothing to say on it so I started to cry. He asked me did I come to just drop that on him and start crying and I said no, but he might actually act like my boyfriend in this moment. He said that was attacking him and that if I wanted to talk about finances I should come composed and ready to talk... I walked away and he accused me then of being incapable of handling the conversation and walking away as usual.

Reminder: I do not need to hear this is abusive. No judgement means no asking why I'm with this person or telling me to leave.

I've done everything I possibly can to make our family work and without his cooperation it's failed. I've been upholding my boundaries and reminding myself quietly of what I know to be gaslighting. I'm sure others reading this have experienced something similar and I hope things are better for you now. I'm not sure why I'm posting this here... Maybe I just wanted to feel the intimacy that he failed to offer in the moment