Little boy - huge emotions - toileting issues & a new baby brother
My son (born Feb 2023) has been potty trained since May, however has never been the strongest when going for a poo. He is a very bright, confident, loud and also loving little boy.
He used to go to a childminder and I found as he was nearing the end of being at the childminders he was pooing himself out of what seemed like rebellion because he was bored being there with no other children.
He spent 4 weeks at home in the summer holidays and we got on top of the pooing on the toilet situation. However he has now started at a nursery and is loving it, he always comes out smiling and the teachers say it’s like he’s always been there.
But he’s soiling himself and now weeing himself either multiple times at nursery or coming home and then doing it. At the same time as him starting nursery, he also gained a new baby brother so I understand there’s been a lot of disturbance to his usual life, but he’s happy, has a very loving and stable home, I’m just finding this very hard to navigate and I’m so worried about him. His behaviour is also challenging, and has been for a lot of this year. He presents with anger and frustration a lot, and can lash out and do things that just seem down right naughty. I try very hard to be patient with him, but he is ALOT!
I’m venting, I’m not sure what I’m looking for here, some advice? Or just somebody to say it’ll be ok 😣
Stressed out momma of 3 (6,3,10days)
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With you!! I am SICK of the wet pants when he knows fine how to do it 🫣
My son just does not listen 🫠 and can also be ALOT 🙈😂
We have also just had a baby so I am aware it can be acting up with that too. He started nursery after summer and started swimming where he’s in the pool without me - didn’t take the going in to either very well 🫣 He was very used to going to a playgroup and would happily run in there!
You’re not alone 🫶🏽
(3,2, 21 days 😆)
Okay so my son is fab at the toilet but since going back to pre-school he keeps having poo accidents. It’s because now that’s he’s older he doesn’t want anyone helping wipe his bottom / seeing his poo - he won’t say that exactly but he always tries to wait until home.
I kept telling him you have to go at school etc. but you really can’t do that, it makes it a big deal etc. and you don’t want to embarrass them / make them ashamed so we’ve tackled the root issue and are really teaching him how to wipe his bottom with games and are rewarding when he tries. We’ve also just told him to just get up and go the loo at school and say that’s where he’s going not that he needs a wee/poo. It’s worked a treat.
I think you really need to get to the root cause and address that / how you can help. He doesn’t want to be having the accidents and something will be stopping him. But try and be really relaxed 😎
My son who had been toilet train since summer 2025 had a bit of a poo regression a few months after my second was born in March. We would just clean him up and move on... It was frustrating, and lasted a couple weeks (not everyday,maybe every second day). We work heavily on a reward system, stars he can collect towards a goal (visit to the toy store for us) but bad behaviour results in loosing a star, the jar takes about a month to fill. Anger and frustration from him has also been very rough, sometimes I feel like I'm failing him, but then he'll come and give me a cuddle and say 'I love you mama'.... You're not alone, I think the best we can do is hold firm consistent boundaries and help them navigate these changes in their lives.
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Finances - how do you share these?
Curious to know what others do in terms of shared finances - mortgage, bills etc. My husband and I have always done everything 50/50 but since having our daughter and me returning to work on reduced hours, my salary has reduced and with the cost of living I'm finding it hard to save.
For context, my husband earns almost double what I do, and I'm wondering now if we should be managing shared finances in a way that's more proportionate to our earnings e.g. he puts in more as he earns more.
Is this the norm? I'm so curious as to what other couples do, but don't feel I could ask this to my friends and people I know personally as I find talking about money so uncomfortable! 😅
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Who’s in the wrong?
Adults keep a firearm hidden in there dresser. Kid knows there’s a firearm in there, adults tell him to not touch it. Kid still grabs firearm. Adults scold the kid for disobeying.
WHO SCOLDS THE ADULTS???
Don’t have firearms unless you’re taking the proper precautions!!!!!!!
Fucking dumb fucks.
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Online School until your child is older?
Hey guys! Had a thought wanted to see what you all thought. So I have a 4 year old boy. I’m sure for the moms that choose to wait are getting the same comments. People ask me when or why my son isn’t in pre school. I get tired of explaining that either the schedule doesn’t work for us for free pre K. (I live in California, USA) And the fact that I also feel like my son is emotionally and physically okay and doesn’t need pre k as he is mentally and emotionally at his developmental stages.
Outside of that more and more if you stop to think public and even some semi private/charter they are just not made for a single and a double parent working house hold. There’s no way you can drop your kid off at school get to work on time and not get in trouble for being late to one or the other.
I’m kind of considering online school with course work while my son is still small. Then maybe when he’s older let him enroll in public school when he can go to school and go home. It would be great since I wouldn’t have to deal with planning family trips and being able to go on vacations would be excellent. It does occur to me though that my son may feel like he doesn’t have friends though. I would also need to find a good online school that doesn’t cost much if I do have to pay out of pocket. I wanted to know what you all think though.
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I feel broken
My BD came in the room while I was at work (I work at home) today and said he’s going to his friends house to get some weed. I didn’t think anything of it. I got off and notice he still wasn’t back. It was like 2.5 hrs later. Something told me to call him and he didn’t answer. I called him like 2-3 more times. He still didn’t. Which is weird. Something else told me to check his call log. I looked up some of the numbers from the last few days and they were connected to prostitutes. I was sick! I was so mad. These were from Tuesday! Then when he came back something told me to look again and it updated to more recent calls and there was one right after he left the house. I felt so sick to my stomach! Like Jesus. If you want to do that be alone and don’t endanger my health! He then got mad when I brought it to him and fought my 18 yr old son and I. I have the biggest headache and don’t even want to tell anyone I know so I’m venting here.
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Can anyone relate? My husband seems to hate on me a lot, idk if he’s jealous or wants me to struggle or what, but it’s weird. I’ll explain below.
So if I’m unable to go to the gym for months because of me struggling with our child, he will make me feel bad for not going saying we should just cancel the membership because we’re wasting money. But then if I do end up going consistently he seems slightly jealous sometimes and will question how long I’m there for so he can complain about how he can’t get to the gym enough.
Then the first time I signed up for school he made me quit right before classes began and moved us states away for “various reasons like him missing his family” which was an issue before I signed up for school (him missing his family) but why make me quit right before school and not just move after? He claimed he couldn’t handle being away from them any longer and him and I weren’t getting a long post birth
Then the second time I told him I was planning to pursue my education online he didn’t seem happy for me.
I read a 400 page book in a few days and was so proud and then he was like oh that’s why the house hasn’t been cleaned and told me to read less and clean more.
Then if I can’t understand something he’s trying to explain to me I tell him it’s ok babe I can try to look it up on YouTube or google and he will tell me that if I can’t understand how to fix something from him trying to explain it then there’s no way I can figure it out and tells me good luck in a condescending way.
He’s literally told me before it’s ok if mothers struggle because that’s normal.
I feel like maybe he’s really insecure, but how can a man be so insecure to the point that he’s hating on the own mother of his child? I don’t understand. When ppl are bettering themselves I feel so happy for them. And I only felt a little jealous of this one girl for starting a business one time and that’s only because she was so mean to me for years, but I’ve let it go and I’m actually really happy for her now. So maybe my man slightly hates me? Idk….
He wants to me to look better without actually saying it’s not important to him if I take a shower first thing in the morning and do my makeup (so I have enough time to clean the house) but will say things as casually & passive aggressively as possible to encourage me to exercise or else couples might not want to stay with their partner who doesn’t take care of themselves.
But I feel like he prefers me struggling. He seems like he could be a narcissist and he’s definitely somewhat sexist because of his culture. But it seems like maybe he always has to be the hero or righteous, perfect person that has all of the power.
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Lost my shirt and had a meltdown
Today started out completely fine, and then somehow I just completely snapped. My 12-month-old refused to nap for TWO HOURS, and I was with her the entire time. Eventually I gave up trying to get her to sleep and just lay there exhausted while she climbed all over me. My husband still wasn’t home from work, and when he finally got home, I left without even saying goodbye because I desperately needed to get out for a minute. I went to get fast food, thinking I’d come back and we could all eat together. I was gone maybe 30 minutes, and when I came back, my husband had gotten her to sleep on his chest, but he hadn’t changed her diaper, made dinner, or really done anything else. I know he got her to sleep, but in that moment I just felt like, “So I’m still responsible for everything?”
And I completely lost it. I yelled in front of my baby, and I feel awful about that. I’m with her basically every second of every day, and I feel like I never get to be alone or completely “off.” Afterward I ended up binge-eating and drank almost half a gallon of tea, and now my stomach hurts terribly. I’m honestly embarrassed by the whole thing because just this morning everything was fine. I don’t even know what happened to me, it felt like I suddenly hit a wall and had absolutely nothing left. I feel terribly guilty because my baby isn’t even a difficult one, the main problem is that I don’t have a village whatsoever.
Has anyone else ever had a day where you went from feeling completely fine to just being done? What did it look like for you?
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