First after 40

I am a first time mom at 44, my daughter is 16 months. For the most part I am proud of having a healthy baby at my age. I forget how old I am and how this isn't the "norm " but today I hit me how isolating this can be..I tried going to an event for moms to make friends out with their babies...there were maybe 30 or so women...and they were all in their 20s!!! I am sitting there sweating and having hot flashes and of course no one there can relate. I felt like the kid in high school not part of the clique... super out of place. It hadn't even crossed my mind I would be the only middle aged mom, i guess it should have. It was the first time I felt super self conscious and almost embarrassed doing motherhood at my age. I got in my car after and cried. I was so excited for opportunity to make mom friends, i really don't have any and I just felt like a fool.

I’m curious if anyone else has an ill /aging parent right now while you are caring for a toddler? My parents live out of state and my dad is ill. I took some time off work to go visit and help but with a toddler it is so hard. I helped with cooking but still had to care for my daughter while there. Anyone else in a similar boat? He just had an emergency surgery and I want to go back but it’s so overwhelming and wondering if anyone has any advice or tips? I don’t have anyone there to help with my daughter and my husband’s work is not very flexible as far as time off.

Random question I know, but I often listen to music while I work and try to add songs regularly to change it up. I listen to just about everything (don’t really like country music). I have some older, some newer. So please tell me what are you listening to?

Real talk… I’ve seen some group chats forming, and I love the idea—but I’d really be interested in one that feels a little more like a space for real life. Support, actual conversation, navigating this stage of life… just something a bit more grounded, less immature, and something we can all come and go into and out of as life and topics allow (I hear stories of being kicked out and all that).

If I tried to start one through here (and figured it out as I go 🤣), would anyone be interested?

I was 45 when I conceived and 46 when she finally arrived. It was out of the blue and completely unexpected. My obgyn was shocked. Even made the comment, we don’t see women your age come in who have conceived naturally.

It makes me feel guilty when I talk to women my age who have struggled through IVF or other issues. As though, if I talk about my pregnancy, it may come across as gloating.

I guess Im wondering how those who have struggled to conceive feel when they hear a story like mine, and are other women like me feeling a certain amount of hesitation to talk about it?

Or am I just totally crazy and the only one who feels like this?