Working Mamas

Trying to find friends who may not be on my whacked out shift working schedule but at least work full time. I feel like we'll have a lot more in common. Feels like 99% of the women this app shows me are SAHMs though and I can't relate. Is this some weird algorithm bent or should I just leave now?

Hi guys

I am just curious if it realistic to plan to only take 2-4 weeks Mat leave ?

Not sure if anyone knows/ can advise.

I’m currently signed off work by my doctor and due to return soon on a phased return. Starting with 2hrs a day for the first week, then 4, then 6 and then back to full time. My manager has informed me that my “working from home” will be suspended during the first three weeks until I return to full time which will be my flexible working hours.

This makes things difficult with childcare as I need to work from home on the day my partner has a longer office day. But will really only affect me on the third week at 6 hours. But also I now have some midwife/scan appointments coming up that working from home would be beneficial.

Does this sound right to anyone? My flexible working arrangement is compressed hours with one day working from home which my manager has agreed to and I have in writing.

I’ve also been signed off with mild anxiety and depressive disorder, and have only realised I’m pregnant while I’ve been off so the sick leave isn’t related to the appointments.

I also requested an occupational health appointment on week 2 of my sick leave but my manager has had issues with the system so I’ve had no appointments to help consider reasonable adjustments for my return.

I’m curious to hear stories about women who were in a career they love and work hard in… knowing some adjustments will have to get made post-baby. But curious to hear how you re-enter and what negotiations you make with yourself to make it all work. I know it’s hard — I don’t need to hear those reminders, I’m sooo anxious about it all already haha. But would love to hear like, how long a mat leave you took and how you re-entered (how many days, how did childcare work, what’d your husband or family help with, did you ramp up over time and exactly how, what were the surprises, what felt doable once you were doing it, etc etc). Thanks in advance who anyone who responds!!

I do want advice but I’m also pretty sure I’m about to go on a rant so fair warning this may be long. 😂 I work a full time corporate job and I am so freaking tired of being the breadwinner AND pretty much sole caregiver (outside of daycare) 😩 my husband used to be such an amazing dad and he’s not a BAD dad now but he “lets” me do like 90% of EVERYTHING. He does also work (also a white collar job, I just make a lot more than him) but I mean he comes home from work and immediately turns on his NCAA football game and/or sits on the couch on his sports app ALL THE FREAKING TIME. When I asked him to stop ignoring the two of us last week he said “I just got home from work, I need time to decompress” (when in the hell do I get to decompress?! I work 40-45 hours a week, too!) Meanwhile when I’m cooking supper our 3.5 year old daughter (that he helped create!!) “helps” me so I’m doing the cooking AND childcare. He does occasionally change a diaper when I have my hands full and ask (I shouldn’t have to ask!) but he does not get off the couch much less get on the floor to play with her or play hide and seek or tag etc (which I do pretty much constantly from 5 til bedtime), so she prefers me by a long shot, even going as far to say things like “no daddy! Only layna mommy!” And “daddy go away, go play kicky-ball” when he finally tried to help me today 😳 It really hurt his feelings so I’m hoping he will want to change; I think this is the best time to talk to him about playing with her more and doing more of the childcare but I don’t even know how to tell him what to do. Right now my plan is “do you see what I do all weekend long and from 5-8 on weeknights? Do that shit!” But I think he needs more direction. He legit told my BIL he does half of the childcare this weekend which is a freaking joke!!! 🤨 I’m just to the point where after work tomorrow if he turns on that 🤬 game I’m going to snap the cord to the Xbox with scissors and lose my sanity. Somebody help! 😢