SHE STOLE MY NAME

You are completely in the right to feel upset especially if you've told her that is your chosen name, out of respect to you she shouldn't pick it, its common decency. Wpuldnt be so bad if you didn't know her. My dads brother named his child the name of my baby brother who passed away at a day old without asking and 17 years later it still upsets my mum x

You have every right to be upset! I know I definitely would feel the same. I’m so sorry! I’d honestly have to say something, she may not have done it intentionally? (Did she know that was your name?) But at the end of the day if she does go with the name you chose it’s just going to be a constant reminder for you, at least if you say something, and she still chooses your name, I’m sorry but she’s not really a friend x

You have every right and she being insensitive.
Me and my partner aren’t sharing our baby name. This is one of reasons why. 

You should talk to her about it.

I’d be thunder pissed. Not only are you going through a traumatic time, now you have a friend that can’t find her own inspiration to name her child. Ugh.

If she knows the name was what u was gunna call ur baby , she should deffo not use it , that’s just pure cruel to me.

I would be upset too. I’m sorry that’s happened to you. I leant my lesson when I told my mother inlaw a girls name I liked and she responded with Ew that’s a dogs name. Luckily I have fallen I love with a different girls name and don’t talk names to anyone.

I can kind of give the other ladies perspective but not fully. My best friend had an abortion (obviously not the same, I’m so sorry for your loss) and the name she would of chose for a little girl if she kept the baby was wren.

I got pregnant like 4 months later. I totally forgot about this. it’s not even a common name but I forgot. My partner chose the Japanese name Ren for our son and I never connected the two names. I had trouble connecting to my baby but naming him really helped. When my son was born she told me I need to change the name and we didn’t talk for months.

maybe she forgot? Maybe it’s too late and she’s already bonded to her baby with that name? talk to her now before baby is born. I didn’t hear my friends potential name and steal it. To me it was two different names. Did you tell her about the name and she said oh I love it?

I guess my question is if you plan on trying again, and you have the same gender, would you want to use that name… if so I would write out a heartfelt letter and be like, this is how I’m coping, I’m going to try again and want to use that name to honour our lost baby. But I guess think of your desired outcomes first and then work backwards on how to handle it.
I’m sorry for your loss, you are among friends xx

Unpopular opinion. I completely understand being upset, and I think the majority of us would be. It’s natural. People get upset in general about stuff like this without all of the unfortunate things that make this situation so complicated. I mean, when I miscarried last year, it definitely would’ve been devastating to have somebody I knew take the name I had picked out for my baby, but the sad reality of the situation is that your friend probably just really liked the name, and we can’t copyright or trademark names. There’s also always the possibility that she didn’t even remember it was a name you guys had talked about, rather it was common or not. I’ve talked about baby names with my friends in the past, but I have no idea anymore what the names they liked were. Regardless, I doubt it was done with any malicious intent or then she’d just be a terrible person in general.

I’ve seen other people steal names on two occasions (one was after a grandparent) so when we decided our name we literally told family and friends who were 100 percent not pregnant. Also, we have a lot of meaning behind our choices so we have listed those out so it’s super clear the name is untouchable. So sorry this has happened to you, I would be equally furious. Also when I discussed names with friends we told eachother not to dare steal each others names lol

If you girls are not family or even the best friends ever why can’t you still use the name you want? There’s no such thing as a name be yours. You don’t even know if you gonna have a baby boy or girl in the future. Don’t waste your energy on such a thing. I wouldn’t care at all, if I love the name I’ll use it regardless who else will do it. What are the chances of the kids really get bothered because a friend has the same name?! 🤷‍♀️

I'm really sorry for your loss. I don't think "stealing names"is a thing but it's worth asking her if she remembers that was the name you were going to use.

Nope I would be pissed. That’s why I won’t give no hints on any ideas for my future babies names. Some ppl just can’t be trusted with ur heart.

If you told your friend the name you picked for your baby then this is just totally unacceptable. If she didn’t know then you need to speak to her and she may change her mind if you tell her. I’m so sorry for your loss. Our son’s name was Ike and he was stillborn. Obv Ike is a very rare name and no one so far has dared suggest it for their baby apart from my stepmum asking if she should call her new puppy Ike 🙄 I would be distraught if any of my friends or family said they wanted to use it for their baby.

Thats really hard, sorry for your loss. . Had you told her the name? I guess try and talk her into the other one!

She may not remember you said it was the name for your baby, I think you should reminder her that that was your name you had chosen and she may realise her mistake and go with her other choice. If she insists on keeping your name choice then she is completely out of order

I can relate, and I’m sorry this is happening. Yes—You have the right to feel how you feel, however keep in mind your friend might not understand they are upsetting you. Is there a way you can communicate in a respectful way that lets her know it bothers you but doesn’t damage the friendship if you still want to be close to her?

My cousin and his wife were having a little girl, and everyone in our family has an “L” middle name. Well, he wanted to name her after our grandmother and another cousin of ours told him that our grandmothers middle name was Lynn(Which it was not. It was Grace.) So he was slightly mad she misinformed him...Now I have a daughter and I did name her middle name after our grandmother—Eleanor, I used “Lenore”

I had that picked out as a very small child and I am glad I did not share it with my cousin and his girlfriend because they most certainly would’ve used it if I had. So as we don’t own names like others have said, I understand the want for your own thing.

I would of said “ you mean you are between your name and the name I picked out for my baby? Just know if you name it the name I picked I am not going to not name my kid because you wanted it to...” maybe she will back off it.

Oh hellllll no! F*ck that b!tch up!

I feel like a lot of people don't want to step on any toes so change name plans when someone in their circle has chosen the same, but the reality is names aren't off limits & are available to whomever wants them. I had my daughters name in mind long before she was conceived and wouldn't have chosen a different name under any circumstance. With that being said, I didn't share with friends to avoid conflict. Only Grandparents and my older clients knew. You'll have to decide if you can continue with the friendship. So sorry for your loss 🙏

No, she didn’t steal your name. She’s short listed the same name you short listed.

It happens. Plenty of kids have the same name as others.

Your feelings are very valid, but also stop sharing so much. I didn't tell anyone what I was planning on naming my child. AND you should've mentioned it when she told you. Like excuse me ma'am but I didn't tell you that name to steal it.

What a bitch!!!! You have every right to be pissed and I would even call her out on it and tell her how insensitive that is to you! If she cares about you as a friend she'll understand where you're coming from and choose another name

First off, I'm really sorry for your loss.

Unless you had a patent on the name, no one stole it. Your situation is very heartbreaking, but it's delusional to expect your friend now pick another name. Sorry to tell ya, but your friend doesn't owe you a name change. I'd find ways to heal instead of projecting your anger onto her.

So sorry for your loss. When my aunt tried to do that to my mom (I was due 5 months later) she said “that’s great if you name her that we will have girls with the same name!” My name is now my cousins middle name.

I’d be so angry! Especially given the circumstances! So sorry for your loss, hope you’re okay and wish you the best ❤️

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Unfortunately in every case like this, nobody owns a name. This is one of the reasons that I always always advise to keep names close to your chest, that way nobody can take inspiration, and if they don’t share, neither person can say they came up with it first 😩

The only person I share names with is my SIL as we are due close together, but she and I have way different name preferences, and we shared with the intent to make sure we weren’t stepping on any toes.

You’re not crazy. She’s a fucking BITCH. I would let her know that and cut her off. I’m very sorry for your loss and send positive vibes that you WILL have that babygirl one day ❤️ and when you do, move forward with your dream name.

Did she ask for you consent to see if you were okay with her using your baby girls name? X

Honestly, I’d be pissed — and generally, anger covers up hurt. It’s hurtful and you have every right to be upset. I’m sorry for your loss and that she was insensitive. I’m sure it wasn’t intentional but it was insensitive all the same. Sending hugs.

I hate her.

I would be tempted to say "well, it's a great name, in fact, if I'm blessed enough to get pregnant with another baby girl, I'm still planning on calling her that. Even if it means your baby has the same name as mine."

That might remind her where she heard the name in the first place. I couldnt imagine someone ACTUALLY stealing a name... maybe she just forgot where she heard it and has no idea she is hurting you...

Sorry for your miscarriage. I’ve had two in the past and I know they emotional pain caused me it. I don’t blame you for getting mad. She’s insensitive. It’s one thing if you were still having the baby, it’s another thing to steal it when you know that you have miscarriage. She’s definitely not a true friend and absolutely selfish.

I am so sorry for your loss :( and it is SO insensitive of her to do that knowing you had a loss and that was the name of your baby. I would be upset too and you have every right to be!

So sorry girl❤️❤️ sending love. Don’t be mad. It’s just a name.

Aww I’m so sorry ☹️ maybe she’s trying to do it in honor of your baby! Ask her!

Im really sorry for your loss. Could you still name a baby the same name if it was your dream??

On the flip side, one of my friends took my ideal little girls name and both my older brothers took my ideal boy names. But came up with a different name - Thomas to keep my grandads name in the family. We could not have wished anything better for him.

If she genuinely forgot where she heard the name and she cares about you, she will at least acknowledge that it was a mistake and validate how you feel...if she gets defensive she knows what she did and she's not your friend.

I'm so sorry for your lost. In regards to the name you are entitled to feel upset but maybe confront her about it "Hey, I told you that name was for my girl" I personally wouldn't care, but would still remind her that it was my idea.

Well.. I had a friend that I stopped talking to well over a year ago she had a miscarriage and I am currently 20 weeks pregnant I recently added her back on Facebook and had no idea that she was going to name her daughter the same exact name that me and my fiancé had picked out like four months ago I reached out to her and told her that I was sorry for her miscarriage and I feel terrible for her however, I had no idea that she and I had picked the same name for our daughters that’s if I have a girl she didn’t really say anything and if she is upset it’s not my fault I didn’t do anything wrong I had absolutely no idea that she had the same name picked out that I did it’s really just a coincidence maybe you should feel honored that she wanted to pick that name.. does that make me insensitive because we already had the same name picked out four months ago and me and her weren’t even friends on Facebook.. I had this name picked out before me and her even became friends on Facebook?

Did she even know that that was your number one name?

I’m so sorry to hear about your loss how awful.. I would also be extremely pissed if my “friend” (no matter how close you are) did that to me! I don’t think you’re over reacting at all! It’s very insensitive of her! I would defo speak to her about it tho but it’s up to you how you approach it. If she realises how much you’re upset about it she might not use it(?) x

I would be very upset if someone was going to call their child my baby name that I shared with them and she knew about it! You ain’t overreacting at all! Did you say anything to her?

I totally get this and I’m sorry for your loss. Years ago I used to have a good male friend and we used to say that if we didn’t have kids by a certain age we would have a kid together. I told him the name I wanted for my daughter if I had one which was my nans name and my sisters middle name. He said at the time he liked it. Anyways roll on a few years and we drifted because he got married and I see on Instagram that he had a baby girl and used my nans name. I was so pissed off! I mentioned it to him and he tried to make out like it was a coincidence. Bollocks was it!! 🙄 It’s a very usual name. Anywho I am now pregnant with a baby girl and I am still going to use the name. I know deep down that it was my name to begin with. Sod him! 😃 If he tries to comment on the name when she’s born I’ll have to tell him about himself. 😂

I'm so sorry for your loss.. And I actually think thats such a bitchy move from your "friend" she should take your feelings into consideration. Have u spoken to her about it?? x

She should of spoken to you about it.. plus there are a million girl names she could of picked from.. my condolences for your loss!! But how I feel is what if the tables were turned and you did that to her?? Stuff like this is why I don’t have many friends!! Because I would of felt like she was throwing that shit in my face!

Idk I mean you did tell her the name and anybody that hears a name they like they have a right to use it if they want. It is upsetting what happened with your baby, but I don't think this is something to hate somebody for.

I would be so upset. It’s insensitive and uncreative. Not a good friend.

Two things at play here.
1) she has forgotten baby brained this was your name. You tell her. She is sorry. She doesn't name the baby it and you go on as friends
2) she knows and doesn't care. You tell her. You argue. She potentially names the baby it anyway. You fall out and you are better off without a shitry friend.

You could name another child it anyway or find new names but this all comes down to if this woman is a worthwhile friend.

I’m really sorry about your loss but if she didn’t know that you were going to call your baby said name then you can’t be mad at her tbh I was in similar position as yourself my so called mate at the time asked me what I had called my son who I had just lost I mentioned I had named him Leo then she came at me said when she looks at her cousin from now on it will remind her of that and I shouldn’t have used that name basically 😑she never once mentioned this to me at all regardless no body owes a name at all let the bitterness go honour your baby’s name .