Gender disappointment

Gender disappointment is very real and nothing to be ashamed of. I have definitely had it. It is a grieving that you must go through, it does not make you any less of a parent ❤️

I had it also so don’t feel bad. It will take time to go away. I would tell myself that there are women out there that can’t have babies of their own so I should be happy no matter what that I have a healthy baby.

I had this with both my pregnancies actually. I ALWAYS wanted a baby boy but both times got girls. I love them to death but I'd cry for days after finding out.

Thanks to everyone who's commenting so far. I'm glad I know im not alone or the only one who's going through this ❤

I don’t think it makes you a bad parent to have a preference. I was thrilled when I learned the gender of my little one but would have still been in love with her if she ended up being a boy, I just wanted to have that traditional baby girl experience and would have been sad at the thought of missing out on buying little dresses and girly socks and headbands etc. Now I’ve had a girl I can’t wait to do it all again but with a little boy but again if I get pregnant with a girl again the second time around I’ll still be really happy! It doesn’t make you a bad parent at all xoxox

I have a bonus son and bonus daughter and man, girls are just sooo much tougher. She’s only 10. I desperately wanted a boy and thankfully I got my boy. But I’m very sure I would have had a little bit of an aww man moment if he would have been a girl.

Yes, that happened to me too I wanted a girl and I got a boy but geez that boy is now my new love 💘

Never did this is my second pregnancy and im having another boy my happiness is that my baby is doing well unfortunately society makes it look like if you don't have a boy and a girl then it makes you a completed utter failure. We can't pick and choose gender there are women out there that dang even bear children do I always have that in mind sorry your dissapointed

That’s why I didn’t find out the gender of my kids before they were born. I had heard too many stories like this.

I was so excited about my first boy and gender didn't matter to me.
A little sad at the second boy (but excited I could use all of the boy stuff I already had). The sadness faded quickly with my second.
With our third, I was having so much fear about the gender. I desperately wanted a girl after the 2 boys but I was determined not to be disappointed because I felt so guilty being sad about my second son.
Our third ended up being a girl, and I cried. I was instantly chastised by my Dr for being so worked up about the gender.. (yeah I thought it was a jerk thing to say honestly)
Gender disappointment is real and so normal. You are saying goodbye to a possibility when you find out the gender. It's ok. You aren't flawed or a bad mom. Embrace the gender, put away the sadness when you can, and breathe. You are ok. I promise :) lots of love

Ive got so much sympathy. Rationally, we know it’s 50/50, but we fantasize, we dream, and we have intuition. It’s crushing when we feel it in our bones that this is how things should be, but it isn’t. You can grieve that while embracing this surprise :)

I lost B/G twins earlier this year, and I know that no matter what this baby is, I’m going to be upset that it’s not the other. I already know it and I’m weeks away from finding out. I remind myself that life is full of unexpected surprises, and disappointment will not last forever. I just want to get it over with though 😅

Give yourself time! You’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.

i didn't personally, but my mum did. i have x2 boys and my second pregnancy my mum was desperate for me to have a girl. i always 'knew' i was having another boy as i felt the pregnancy was very similar to my first, and i really hoped to have a pair of boys. But my mum was so sad and still mentions it sometimes now, and suggests trying for another baby (which i won't be planning on).

This is why I’m not finding out until birth. I want a girl so bad but my husband comes from a family of all boys and his brothers have boys so I’m just so sure I’m going to have boys too. I grew up with sisters so boys are stinky to me haha. I know once the baby is out in the world I won’t care (I hope) but I just can’t bear the disappointment before I meet the little gaffer.

I think it’s normal for gender disappointment and you need time to accept it but I wish people had the same empathy for men when they experience it too. Everyone always says “wow cuz they didn’t get a boy they’re acting like a child. Should just be happy they have a healthy baby” but when it’s opposite it’s completely different reaction.

This would be my second pregnancy, I already have a girl so I was hoping for my baby to be a boy, I was so excited looking for boy clothes and had a boy name already, when I got my blood test and came out that I was having another girl. I felt like crying I was down for probably 2 days but then again After I saw her moving like crazy in my ultrasound and having a strong heart beat i only thank god that I am having a healthy little girl and that is all that matters. Now I’m going crazy shopping for so many cute clothes for her.

A day after I told my husband I was pregnant with twins he told me he wanted a divorce. I come from a family of all women and have one daughter. I was excited to have a posse of all girls. When the nurse called me to tell me I was having two boys... I started sobbing on the phone. What will I do with two boys and no father figure? But being honest with myself about how I felt helped me process more quickly and now I'm actually excited to have two! I think it's really healthy to process the disappointment. You will find your groove

I just dealt with that about 3 weeks ago it took me a couple days and now I’m content with it. When I hear about other girls who have the gender I wanted I feel bothered buf I’m still happy about what I’m having. It’s a normal feeling so don’t beat yourself up about it and know that a lot of people won’t understand

I was disappointed. Still am tbh so its normal and we get over it eventually but it is normal for it to happen

I’m having my 4th girl I cried for days that she wasn’t a boy it took me a few weeks to come to terms with the fact it didn’t matter what gender she was as long as she’s healthy that’s all that matters I also had my best friend who found out that she is having her 3rd boy around the same time and was going through exactly the same thing with gender disappointment, in a way it feels like you a grieving for a child you didn’t ever have it’s completely normal to be disappointed

This is also y I didnt find out, I have 2 daughters and pregnant now and would like a boy, but a healthy baby is all I want but a baby boy would also be nice, roll on March

I think it’s normal because that early in the pregnancy, your baby is just what you’ve imagined since you haven’t felt them move or seen their face, right, so if there’s a mismatch between reality and expectations that’s always hard to cope with. I think it goes away fairly quickly for most people AND it’s normal to feel. We just had our 31 week scan, and I was mildly disappointed that our baby clearly has my chin where in prior scans he looked exactly like my husband. Not that there’s anything wrong with my chin! Just a mismatch to how I had been picturing him. Does that make any sense?

I definitely had this. After spending my first trimester with severe sickness everyone was like you’re definitely having a girl and then found out he’s a boy. We had picked names and was super excited about a girl so was definitely disappointed for a while. However as soon as we started buying things and getting his nursery ready it completely went and the more he moves and I see him in scans the more excited I get. I honestly think it’s so normal and know so many people who felt the same way!

I was so sure I was having a boy but I was told it’s a girl.. it took a few days to get used to but the more you look at baby clothes and items for your baby, you’ll slowly get used to it. It’s only when you’re carrying your baby you’ll feel fully content 💞

I wanted a girl so bad but now can't even imagine having a girl... I was meant to be a boy mum 😎😅

Absolutely 💯
We had two boys and everything was different about my last pregnancy. Boy number three! He has beautiful long lashes, big brown eyes and golden curls. He would have been a beautiful little girl Lol

I was quite disappointed, when I found out I am having a boy. I really wanted to have a girl. Now my son is 5 months old and he is the best thing in my life, wouldn't exchange him for 1000 baby girls 😁. I actually don't mind having a second boy too, despite we are only planning to have 2 kids.
You are going to enjoy your baby so much. Gender disappointment will pass very quickly. Try not to think about the baby you are not going to have and concentrate on the one you are having, think about all the fun you are going to have with you child and how much love you are going to receive from your baby.

So for me I kinda knew what it was and thankfully it turned out to be a boy. And my boyfriend and I had the talk about terminating the pregnancy due to a lot of different reasons however we didn't so baby boy will be here in January. But I did make it clear to him during one of our talks about termination that if if we terminated our son and ended up pregnant the next time with a girl I would be very disappointed. I've always known known that I was supposed to be a boy mom and I had a miscarriage almost 10 years ago now, It was very early on and I didn't know the gender of the baby but I had a very strong feeling it was a girl. This time around I just knew that the universe I have planned a boy for me and so I would have been very very upset had been a girl but at the end of the day, All I want is a healthy happy baby. I completely understand the disappointment yet the excitedness at the same time it will take some adjustment but try shopping...

Yes. I wanted a boy and found out we were having a girl. I was sad at the time, and still sometimes find myself wishing she was a boy. But she is so loved anyway xx

I believe gender disappointment is a real thing. If I would’ve had the opposite gender for my first I prolly would’ve cried. But I’m almost 30 weeks and wonder what life would be like if I had the opposite gender. You’re not alone mama. And it will pass 🤍

I’m still dealing with it, and if you’d like you can message me. I’ll send you a link to a support group I’m in with other moms and dads experiencing this!!❤️❤️ you’re not alone!

This is something i feel should always be talked about without judgement. I was so excited when i found out my first was a girl i just had a feeling she was. When I found out I was pregnant again with my second i asked her if she wanted a brother or sister. She said sister and she kept calling my belly baby sister. Her dream became my dream but i knew deep down that baby was a boy before i was actually told. When I got the confirmation of boy i cried in the car. I wanted that baby sister so much for my girl. Now im pregnant with #3 and my son is about to be two and my daughter about to be six. I am waiting until baby is born to find out. My girl asked me for a sister again. Practically begged me. I have this gut feeling she will get her sister but we wont know until april when baby graces us with his/her presence.

I'm so glad I decided to make this post after all even though I was hesitant over it. I feel relieved not to be the only one going through this or has gone throw it. With my frist born we knew it was a boy and we were super excited. I've always wanted a boy first so I was excited when my dream came true. This is now my second pregnancy and we were happy when we found out that we will finally have baby number two. On Monday the week we got to know the gender. All I could think about was just tell me im having a girl already lol. I felt/knew deep down in my heart it was a girl. But them the lady told us it was another boy. I started tearing up right away but try to hide it till we walked outside then I bald. I've been breaking down ever since and I just don't know how to feel. I'm excited for this baby but on the other had im crush. I knew I needed to share my story in hopes that I could find someone to relate to. And I found all of you amazing women and for that I thank you for helping me

I'm so glad ro read this. Expecting myself and want to know, but only want a girl. My boyfriend doesn't want to find out. Not sure what to do, as I will be broken if it's a boy. So glad I am hearing this is a real thing, I know whatever it is I will love it regardless but really feel I will be heart broken if its a boy x

Definitely a real thing. Makes bonding extremely hard. Doesn't mean you are ungrateful or care any less x

I definitely had this! I wanted a girl so so bad, i always knew my first would be a boy, but i hoped i was wrong, finding out before the birth definitely helped me to have time to come around to the idea and now i couldn’t imagine not having my boy💙 i can’t lie and say i think i would feel differently if we were lucky enough to have another and it was a boy again but i came around this time so i’m sure i would again x

Totally did! Really wanted a girl to have that mother-daughter relationship and turn her into a rad little surfer, climber chick! Now my head is wrapped around having a boy and I’m getting more excited. Good luck to you!

I wanted a girl, I was heart set on a girl as boys bullied me and abused me and I had such a great relationship with my mum and I wanted to continue that with my daughter and I found out I’m having a boy and I was HEARTBROKEN. I still tear up every now and then.

What I’ve came to realise and get use to is just because I have no experience in boys and boys frightened me, it doesn’t mean mine will turn out like the ones that tortured me. I get to learn about his likes and interests and show him mine. I had a scare on Monday night and thought I’d lost him and if I can be honest, at that moment I didn’t care what was inbetween his legs, I just wanted a healthy live baby and luckily he was fine!

I find looking at the cute clothes and even cute little tik toks of boys doing funny things makes me look forward to my own and I honestly can’t wait til he’s here.

Yes i cried for four days when I found out my second was a boy
I probably would have experienced it a third time this pregnancy but we are finally getting our girl
Take the time you need and only talk to understanding people who won't say triggering things during this time

Both my partner and I were kinda hoping for a boy no particular reason we just both imagine ourselves as parents to a boy. Ironically couldn't decide on a boys name at all but a girls name came easily to us as we both have strong ties to female family members. When we were told we were having a girl I could tell my partner was a little more disappointed than I was but the more we thought about it the more we realised that by having a girl we already had the name to honour the women who were important to us. Also when we started buying more "girly" things my partner actually got more excited than me which I thought was funny. I think depending on what you were hoping for and why depends on how you cope but in the end as your pregnancy goes on you form a relationship with your baby and it becomes easier now I can't wait for my baby girl to be here, any day now x

I definitely tried my hardest!!! To put into the atmosphere that my second baby would be a girl. My partner thought for sure its a girl and I definitely wanted a girl. But God gave us a boy instead lol we were both kind of disappointed and even quiet after the scan lol but after a few hours, we just thought its in God's plan for us to have two boys grow together. So we're now even more excited now coz at least they can grown close and play with the same toys and wear each others clothes lol saves us some money lol 😆

I didn’t have gender disappointment. It’s a 50% chance you’re not going to get what you “wanted”
Personally I just wanted a healthy baby. I didn’t care whether it was a boy or girl. I don’t really understand why people have actual breakdowns over this. My friend thought she was having a boy & literally cried for days. It honestly blew my mind.

Hello, I didn't have a gender disappointment because we didn't know the gender until birth. We did this on purpose because I just wanted to focus on loving my baby as a baby instead of fantasising on the material things like nursery colour and cute girl clothes. All of which are part of the fun ofcourse. However, I think it was for the best to not find out the gender as you can't get disappointed when you don't have any expectations. We ended up with a lovely baby boy.

I feel like I did because I've always wanted a boy first. I have 4 brothers so I know what to expect with boys. They're easy but I got my baby girl and she's just the best thing ever... I feel like you're given what you can handle/need.

I openly expressed that I would 100% have gender disappointment if it wasn’t the gender I wanted. It’s okay to feel this way, it’s totally normal

How about during our scan they said it's a girl, and then during C section surgery the surgeons kept asking what are you gonna be having? And we clearly said a Girl with Excitement.... and when they pulled bubba out the said nooo your not ... your having a boy lol 😂 and showed us his 🍆 while I was abdomen stomach area open on the surgeons bed lol 😆 unforgettable story of my life .

Personally I would have been a little disappointed either way because I’d like to have one of each. I was THRILLED when I found out I was having a boy, but a tiny part of me was sad and it would have been the same thing if I’d found out it was a girl. I was leaning toward wanting a boy a little more but there was still some level of disappointment in letting go of the idea of it being a girl. I think it’s pretty normal/common, but once your baby is here it will all feel perfect

I wanted a girl so bad with my first 2 boys and I was sad that I didn't have one. Now I have a girl and was like wtf was I thinking hahahahaha

I did with my first, because I wanted a boy and I had my mind set she was a boy, it took me till the whole pregnancy to realize it was a girl and she was my baby. God intended for me to have girls first because my last was a boy and let me tell you a boys love is different, then a girls. My girls spread there wings and are older and independent. Gage needs love and support and he gives me the same.

I have two teenagers, both girls. I am having a little boy now. I thought for sure I'd have another girl and I was super excited and happy because I wanted a boy, but would have been happy either way as long as its a healthy baby.
I don't really understand gender disappointment, but that doesn't mean your feelings aren't valid.

I am annoyed that people question if I'm having gender disappointment or if the gender that I was told at the ultrasound is correct. Questions "are you sure? Sure it's a boy?" My first LO is a girl, so naturally I am excited for a boy. But either way it would be OK as long ad the baby is healthy, yet already a second person questioning if in fact I know for sure it's a boy. Like how the f** would I 100% know? And why do people even ask that? Why question and add stress to my pregnancy? Ugh