How to deal with a liar
My boyfriend is a liar. He lies about small things like spending money on games or his credit. I guess these are not small things but we have gotten over these hurdles. He gave me access to his bank account and things have been fine in that area. Recently he lied to be about something small again, like something that I wouldn't even be mad about if he told me the truth. He promises that I caught him in every lie and we have done therapy. Our relationship isn't horrible, but I keep finding out small lies. I do believe he would never be with another woman or cheat on me and I don't want to give up our relationship. Has anyone ever stayed in a relationship with someone who lies? I feel so stupid asking this...but we have gotten through a lot of hurdles. Does it ever change? What helps? I feel dumb wanting to stay, but I feel like in a way it's just how he was raised and it's a trauma response for him from issues in his past. Any advice is appreciated.
If he’s lying about little things, then he’s probably lying about big things. My aunt was married for 30 years. We never really liked her husband, but she loved him so that’s what mattered. He lied about stupid shit all the time. Say he was somewhere but have been somewhere else, even though it wouldn’t have mattered if he’d just told the truth. He would make promises or big claims and not follow through. But we never thought he was a “bad person.” He was not a great person, but not that harmful. LOL Turns out he’d been having affairs and seeing prostitutes for years behind my aunt’s back. None of us knew until one of his crazy girlfriends threatened to expose him on facebook and he was forced to come clean. Even then, he’s continued to lie throughout the divorce process and after. I’m not saying this is your boyfriend. But where there’s one lie he’ll admit to, there are many more he’s hiding. And where there are small lies he’ll admit to, there are big ones he’s hiding.