Partner has a Porn addiction

when we first started dating I did but he didn’t seem interested in doing it as a couple so it just fizzled out. Like if I did it along with him he would just stop and not be in the mood anymore.

In my opinion, that’s completely unacceptable. If it’s a true addiction, I think therapy would be good. It would be different if you two enjoyed it together, but since you’ve expressed that it makes you uncomfortable that should’ve been enough for him to stop. This may be a very unpopular opinion, but I think porn ruins relationships.

I think it’s important to remember that it’s not a reflection on you and your attractiveness. Porn can be like a drug to those that are addicted.

Dealt with the same thing and I've talked about it with him multiple times. This last time we really really dug into why he does it and how it makes me feel. He still does it and to at some level it's still makes uncomfortable but I learned to deal with it. Hang in there hun.

I’ve expressed to him that I know that masturbation and porn is a normal thing and it’s not that as such that I have an issue with, it’s more the sheer amount, the choosing it over me and the essentially secret social media and following and saving pics of girls that live in our area (as far as I’m aware he doesn’t actually know them) that bothers me, and the fact he said he’d stop but hasn’t. It just makes me feel like he doesn’t want me. Weirdly I know he loves me, I just feel he’s not actually attracted to me anymore if that makes any sense at all?

I’ve gotten to the point that obviously it still bothers me and hurts but I’m trying to just focus on my wee girl instead and shut off the whole thing atm.
We’ve sort of dug into it and like i said , he says he does it when stressed and then said he feels like shit afterwards. We’re fairly good at communicating with eachother and he tells me things he never speaks to anyone else about but he won’t really talk to me about what’s stressing him. I’m a mental health nurse and I’m like I want to help and I feel like if he talks about the stress then I’d be able to but he doesn’t and it frustrates me.

I’ve tried suggesting therapy which he was open to but seemed kind of iffy about.
We’ve tried the no porn for a week thing and regardless of whether he watches it or not he has a hard time getting off when we have sex, which in itself is upsetting because it just reinforces to me that I can’t give him what he needs.
I just feel a bit lost and don’t really know what to do, I feel like on one hand he wants to be better but on the other hand doesn’t really want to put in the work to get to that point?

thank you 🖤 this is really helpful.
I’ll definitely look into the nofap groups 🖤

If it’s a true addiction he definitely needs therapy to get through it. He has watched so much porn that his expectations sexually have grown to only accept what he sees in whatever videos he watches to get him off. Which probably makes it very hard to please him when his brain is only used to being stimulated through the videos if that makes sense

Take a look online together at some therapists Hun. If he truly has an addiction and it's ruining your relationship, that's definitely what you need! Perhaps also some relationship councilling? It may just help 🫶🥰

Definitely agree that therapy may help. He needs to implement other ways to relieve stress. Work out, play ball, write, find a new hobby or even go back to school to learn a new skill. He needs to be willing because it will be hard for him but he has to if he cares to keep the relationship healthy.

honestly worst thing yo suggest.. it’s gotten to the point where he follows women in their area and hiding it from her. it’s consuming his life.

Porn isn’t a normal thing by the way, it’s normalized. It’s an addiction for a reason, its adrenaline chasing and hurts the person watching it and their loved ones.