Boundaries with a new born

I’ve seen some online poster-like things, could just post it on social media or in family group chats, and then gentle reminders here and there, because there are always bugs going around and also, because you think that’s best for your baby, so people should respect that! Say it however you feel you will be heard, if people take offence to it, it shows they really don’t have baby’s needs at heart🥴💕

I’ve seen some cute wee things on Etsy- like baby grows and wee signs you can hang from pram etc that kinda say “please don’t touch or kiss your germs are too big for me” kinda thing!

Do not feel bad or rude about expressing how you feel about it. To be honest, if they take offence, then it’s a problem with them rather than you.
It’s madness that some people think nothing of planting a kiss on a baby that isn’t theirs. I didn’t even kiss my own when she was first born for the same reasons! Xx

I was straight to the point with my family and friends but we all have a relationship where we can be that way. I essentially said something along the lines of "would you like to come round on x day, please make sure you're not feeling unwell and we are asking for everyone to refrain from kissing him/her, thank you for understanding we can't wait for you to meet x"

Be rude about it if needed. You have to care for yourself and a brand new tiny human. Share your boundaries and if someone doesn't respect them, they aren't welcome in your home. Plain and simple.

You have to have boundaries. You will be crazy new mum and that's ok. I was crazy new mum and told people to leave my house when there were staying later than I said they could. Being a new born mum is hard. You dont need people adding to the stress xxx

I think the best way is be nice but upfront about it. Before someone comes send a message saying something like “so excited to see you, I’m letting everyone who visits know to please wash hands before you hold the baby and please no kissing the baby. Also i usually love to be a good host and serve snacks and drinks but I hope you understand I don’t have things together enough to do that today, please feel free to serve yourself if you need!” If anyone tries to push boundaries you have to remind them, you can blame the doctor and say the doctor emphasized these rules if you need to

Same as here be rude if they don’t listen and respect you.
YOU are that child’s mother, YOU have to set boundaries for their health and safety.
They will not be the ones who have to deal with baby if baby is ill. There are PLENTY of other ways to show love to a baby/child.
If they cross the boundaries you set and you feel uncomfortable do not hesitate to take your baby back and tell them until they can respect you they will not hold baby.

I was very clear from the beginning, no hard feelings , Its your baby health and when they are sick and struggling the family is not there to take care of them ,you are!My baby is 16 mo and never been sick, never had any issues and at the end of the day what matters is that she enjoined her start in life not struggling

I think you just have to go in assuming some people will think it's rude no matter what. Just be straight up and honest - you're allowed to have your own boundaries around your baby and you are not responsible for any adult's feelings.

I learned the hard way that if you have some expectations you have to tell people upfront and be very straight with them cause some people don’t know these things or have different standards.
I wanted to send a message to people visiting but decided against an official list, just mentioned things to people in messages before they visited.
One time MIL turned up wearing so much sickly perfume I knew we should have reminded people about perfumes.
I very gently said please be careful with strong perfumes next time cause they can impact the baby, MIL jumped up and stormed out without saying anything. It was the shortest visit ever 😜🤣
So if there’s a list of things you want to be respected- tell people in advance.
When it comes to my baby, I don’t care if us trying to keep him safe upsets people.

You're about to be a new mom. No one should expect you to play hostess. They should come and cook for you and help you get rest. Otherwise, be gone, baby moochers.

@Rose 🇬🇧 i don't know about other people, but in my culture whenever u have guests u make food or snacks for them...if they're very close to you u can tell them to do it themselves in the kitchen

@Emma i wouldn't visit you if u don't allow me to hold your baby, i came for the baby not u🤔i can wash my hands and I don't kiss other people's babies but i would love to hold them

I think if you go see someone who’s just had a baby, you know them quite well so you would be going to visit them as well to see how they are after just giving birth I would hope? If someone was coming to my house just to see my baby and not me, I would be pretty offended and they wouldn’t be welcome again. I think that image with the rules on means don’t expect to come round and ask to hold baby especially with breastfeeding new mums, it can be very stressful and new borns do ultimately need their mother

Absolutely this! Set boundaries and speak up when you feel like you should. I didn't and I could kick myself now when I think back to difficult days with my baby all because I didn't speak my mind and let others take control. I came home from hospital to my house full of people who wanted to coo over the baby and I burst into tears because I just wanted time with her and her dad alone. I kept quiet and put up with it and things like this just became a trend and sometimes the baby really needed space and quiet which she was never going to get until I started to put my foot down. Wish I had been stronger in the beginning.

I would never go round to a persons house who has just given birth and not pay more attention to mum. I would never in a million years ask to hold baby. That baby needs mum not to be passed around like a parcel.
If I am offer to hold ok of course I’d snuggle but that time is for mum and baby

oh no this is my worst nightmare and what I am so scared about! I’m going to be watching people like a hawk… my partner has mentioned it to his parents already and they said ‘babies need some germs’ and my jaw nearly hit the floor. I mentioned to my midwife and she said babies don’t need germs until they have the ability to fight them off and even then, why would you want your grandchild to be unwell! 😟

my MIL said the same. The main reason I’ve kept the no kisses, don’t even let them kiss head. Just straight up none at all.
Pissed me off so now I’m waiting for him to decide.
Probably because she told me her grandma licked one of her children after she’d given birth and they’re both fine 🙄