In laws turning up unannounced.

yes, it’s rude!

Yes totally rude! I wouldn’t let them in 😅

- I wouldn’t but my FIL has a key so if I don’t answer they let themselves in.

I’m very protective about my babies routine, I’d be very clear that they shouldn’t come at that time/come earlier. Or if they do come, then keep them downstairs while I put baby to bed. My LB goes to bed between 6-7pm every night. Xx

That is incredibly rude. I would lock my door and not answer after 7pm.

Same! So annoying 🥴

My family has no boundaries and it's irritating. I told them to call me first before they show up. Nope they come when they want damned whatever I said. They also get mad at me if I'm not home when they come over. So I actually had enough of that and other things and moved my family across the country to get away.

I would put him in bed anyway, if they want time with him they will have to see with you when it’s ok to come and agree a time with you.
Also, 8ish isn’t particularly early for a LO, not sure what her problem is

This could solve the issue but you'd have to be brave. You could be naked when they let themselves in every time. Also, your husband being away does not mean he can't have a word!

Ask your partner to get the key back?there is no way you should have people in your house when you don’t want them to be? I find that so crazy honestly! Can’t you say to your partner to say to his parents.. baby goes to bed at XYZ … we need to be left by X time! We are lucky enough to not live by family but I wouldn’t have anyone in my house if I didn’t want them there! And i certainty wouldn’t want someone there everyday! Set your boundaries and get your partner to help you make them for his family! You’re mumma, your rules are the final rules! X

Put the key in the door so they can’t get in if that works!!!

It is a cultural thing.

Tbh I'd let him get overtired once or twice whilst theyre there and then let them try to deal with it. When they realise what happens, explain it was because he wasn't put to bed on time and they'll realise and hopefully stop visiting at that time. If they don't take the hint, just take him off them and put him to sleep and say you'll be back down as soon as he's knocked out. Lol

Yes it’s extremely rude! I’m British Bangladeshi so I totally understand but I have set boundaries and said you must ask first

Yes, it's very rude take your key back and tell them no coming over until they can respect your rules.

It’s a total cultural thing sadly, infact asking them to give a headsup or make changes to their arrival time would be deemed as rude!
I would suggest you talk to your husband and it’s better coming from him. It’s even more important that he handles if he’s away a lot as you are caring for the LO all day!
If not, just take your LO to his/your bedroom by 7.30pm on the days they arrive and say that his bedtime has been moved to much earlier slot. If they don’t get to see him a few times they drop by then they will either get angry or take a hint (finally!) either way could an effort to see him earlier in the day. X

Move somewhere where it’s far away enough that they wouldn’t want to risk wasting their time driving over without first checking you’re in.

One day just don’t open it and make it out like you went out with the kids

I understand the cultural bit as my family are the same and it annoys me when they turn up during bedtime when they had all day to turn up even on a weekend! I just leave the key in the door so they can’t get in ! And don’t answer.

Yes v inconsiderate of them. I have a 2 y/o niece and the whole fam has always been happy to time visits and our day time activities and get together around their schedule. I will expect and enforce (if needs be) the same when our little one is here.
Sometimes I think the only way to get through to ppl is to not be polite 🙈 or at least be kind but v clear and direct with the truth (which some ppl unfortunately take to be rude but that’s their problem). If you mention that routine and set bed has now been proven to be important for their grandchild’s development and that they are potentially damaging it with their actions, that might help to make them change their behaviour. You could also mention that it would be more positive for the child’s relationship with them and their bonding to see their g.parents in a time window which is not stressful or confusing for him. One serious conversation about it, perhaps with your partner there too, could be a great first step!

3 days after my baby was born I was cooking dinner, partner had just fed baby and put her down to sleep and my dad and auntie show up, no communication at all, dad picks baby up from her moses basket posing for pictures that my auntie is taking, I'm 3 days from giving birth and they are sitting on the one sofa we have so in-between cooking I'm having to sit on the floor etc by tike dinner was cooked they was still here, by time me and my partner got to eat dinner it was cold then the baby was so unsettled and couldn't get her back to sleep, so they left us with cold dinner and a crying baby, I was furious! When baby was 3 weeks old my syepmum and sister just randomly showed up in the afternoon. I was on the sofa having skin to skin with baby and they just walked in, I didn't even have a shirt on I was so embarrassed! Since then I've told people over and over please ask if you can come! Boundaries just not respected

That’s incredibly rude!! I wouldn’t answer the door. It’s hard but setting boundaries now will save a lot of pain and stress later, and hopefully the message will sink in that it’s not an appropriate time. Just make sure you’ve let your husband know so he can back you up too.