MIL Anxiety

Omg everything you have written is me & MIL. Unfortunately things have never gotten better with her and I’ve needed to constantly restate my boundaries

I feel I am constantly restating boundaries and she just acts oblivious to them and plays the victim if I politely reinforce them. Which has caused strain on my relationship but also a lot of sleepless nights & anxiety for me as my husband automatically diffuses with “she’s no harm” etc.

I can’t even comprehend having a second child and it’s completely down to the stress it has caused. I just want to find a way to let go a bit as I feel so much hate/resentment

I finally just put my foot down and said that anyone who was not capable of respecting my boundaries would no longer be allowed around my child. It's helped with my MIL and FIL, but my SIL is basically not a part of our lives anymore because she still believes that being my daughter's aunt gives her the right to do whatever she wants. Good riddance. 🙃

I have been so much firmer with this pregnancy. I told my other half that enough is enough we are now his family and his priority and that whatever he thinks I see it as disrespect. He is slowly starting to see what I see and this pregnancy she has been different she hasn’t got involved as much and hasn’t bought unnecessary stuff but I do worry she will try to manipulate a way to have our daughter etc. in 3.5 years she’s looked after our daughter once for 2 hrs in our home

I’m the same. She’ll be babysitting once in a months time and I will aim to put LG to bed before we go out for a couple of hours and just invite her over before to spend w bit of time.
How do you deal with pressure from your partner to let her baby sit more? Or do you just ignore it?

He’s given up pressuring me now I just keep telling him that if anyone looks after her it will be at our convenience when we need a babysitter. Luckily she lives an hours drive away so it’s not as easy for her to pop in. They also do stupid things like let the dogs jump all over her or don’t answer their phone for days. We once invited them round about 18 months ago to watch her for an hour or two whilst we did some last minute errands before a holiday then I said I would come home and cook tea, it was a Sunday we told them to arrive by 1 and they didn’t and didn’t answer phone so we went out and they turned up at 2.40. I just tell him that until they can be consistent and be trusted then they are not having her.