40 years old, TTC 1st child

Hello, I am turning 40 in two months, my partner is 35. We have been actively trying since March - BBT tracking, LH tracking, etc. using Natural Cycles App - my cycle is very regular but I recently had my fertility blood panel since we haven’t conceived yet. It seems as though everything has come back normal. My next steps are an HSG and partner getting checked. In May I had a faint positive, followed by bleeding a few days later. That was very sad for both me and my partner. I have been finding myself overwhelmed, depressed, and ugly crying every time I get my period. I know I’m not alone in the feeling, but I have no one to really talk to aside from my partner… it just feels so lonely. I was due to get my period a few days ago, I actually started bleeding and thought I’d gotten my cycle… but it ended pretty quickly. I have taken two pregnancy tests, both negative, not even a faint line. I have this impending doom sort of feeling that either my period is around the corner or perimenopause and it’s just weighing on my emotions. I’m hoping to connect with other women having a similar experience. I know everyone can use support.

Thanks for letting me post my thoughts here.

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Trying for a baby is so tough. How i changed my mindset is by thinking about the fact that every month that we didn't concieve was a different baby, and the baby im going to eventually have is the one thats meant for me 💛 I hope that helps. Have you considered taking supplements? My boyfriend and I are both very nearly 35 and before we started trying I was doing ovulation tests and they were strong but not dye stealers. I started taking maca root, inositol, co-q-10 and pregnacare. My boyfriend also took maca and co-q-10. It really boosted my ovulation and the lines were so dark and then after a few months we got our positive 💛

I’m 40, and miscarried at 9 weeks back in May. I’ve been trying ever since to no luck. If your fertility blood panels are normal, you may not be in perimenopause. It’s awesome that you’re taking those first steps to understand your fertility.
I often feel the same as you. I was feeling so burnt out after my MC, obsessions over stuff and trying my best to not freak out.

My suggestion is don’t read about fertility after 40 online. Just do not do it! Talk to your doctors and specialists about it since your unique situation is all that matters!

Your little human is on its way to you

I like the way you put that I’m 44 back in 2021 I had gotten pregnant by surprise I was not expecting that & I had 2 sac’s but then 1 disappeared but I was fine because I still had my other one with a strong healthy heart beat but at my 9 weeks ultrasound there was no heart beat 💔we were devastated but about 1 yr later I got pregnant again I was over the moon but a little scared this was 2023 February and at the end of March I had another miscarriage 💔💔💔❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹so hear we are still picking up the pieces
So we are still trying I stopped doing ovulation tests and all that I am taking vitamins and folic acid so yes it’s very hard & a lot of people don’t really understand but I never loose my faith that the Lord will finally Bless us with our rainbow 🌈 baby 🙏🩷🩵

in our community

One and done… or not?

32ftm. I’m starting to feel so much pressure to have another baby soon as I wean from breastfeeding so they can be close in age and be friends, but I don’t feel ready for pregnancy and newborn trenches again 😭 my husband and I are all we’ve got. Having just one baby without a village has been really tough. Am I being unrealistic wanting another one soon?

I'm so not meant to be a mother.

My kids won't listen to me get into stuff when they know they aren't supposed to. Telling me no all the time. Only listen to their dad. Laughs when I correct them. I spend most of my time yelling at them because they don't want to listen to me at all. My husband said that I shouldn't have kids. And I am believing him on it. I was never meant to be a mother now. I won't hurt my kids I just want to disappear and make everyone else's lives better without me.

Baby #2??

I really want baby number 2 and am thinking of doing it via IUI as a solo mama!
Has anyone had any experiences with it 👀

Tests

So I had a blood test at the drs bc I keep getting positive tests when the blood test was negative what could this mean? Hubby says the tests are negative and said he can’t see anything. Negative image down below.

Am I pregnant?

I lightly spotted almost 5 days ago, which is not common for me before my period.
My period was supposed to come today. I should have tested in the morning but its 5:30pm.
Is there a second line??

Anyone have this happen before?

We were not trying to conceive, used protection and had sex on week 2 of my cycle (accidentally on my peak ovulation day). Week 3 we had Flu A. Week 4 my period did not come (it’s very regular). I tested and it was negative (2 different brands).
What should have been week 2 of my next cycle (now 6 weeks post last period), I had light red/ pink spotting for one day when I wiped. The following week, I tested again, still negative, but this time almost all the dye was in the negative space, which I’ve never seen happen before. The area where it shows one horizontal line for negative and a plus sign for positive, the horizontal line was super faded at the 3 minute mark, and the negative vertical line in the next window was VERY dark. Now I’m on week 8 of all this, period did not show up yesterday. Nothing in my life has changed (no additional stress, no other illness, no changes in diet or exercise, etc).

Has anyone gone through this and NOT been pregnant? I’m super nervous as we thought we were done having kids.

PS. I know I should go get a blood test, does anyone know if urgent care will do that? I’m past being convinced by a pee test.