I think I figured it out!

Or maybe they want quality time with the child 🙈

What agree personally. Some grandparents want the LOs to favour them over everyone else’s you can tell even when other family members are around too

Some feel it's a way to mend the mistakes they made with their own children.

yes but good grandparents want quality time with their grandchildren and it doesn't matter whether they spend the night or not. Because they cherish the time with the baby either way. I'm talking specifically about the grandparents who get angry and passive aggressive and over dramatic about it. Grandparents don't NEED to have our children overnight in order to spend quality time with them. If they ask that's fine. If they demand and guilt trip and throw fits that's a whole other ballgame.

DEFINITELY!!! I didn't even think about it like that.

yep! My MIL had an awful habit of hogging our baby during visits and even on video chats. And she'd rush to the bedroom every time he woke up so she was the first face he saw when he woke up. We'd have to ASK her to let someone else hold our son and we'd have to ask repeatedly for our son back and defend ourselves when she'd say things like "but you have him all the time"

This is my MIL to a tee!! 🤦🏼‍♀️

I’m actually dreading my LBs birthday for this reason. She makes zero effort at the minute and I know full well she’s just going to try hold him the entire time but he hates being held he just wants to crawl around and pull himself up. But she’d know that if she bothered to see him in the last 10 weeks 🙄
I just know she’ll be pissed if someone else is holding him.

I don’t get why they think they are the ones who need to be loved the most by the LOs 🙄
I hate it because I used to really get along with her until I got pregnant

Same! I see my MIL so differently now I’m a mum! She makes minimal effort to see our baby boy but thinks she knows him really well, compares him to other babies which frustrates the living shit out of me 🙈 and just thinks she has the right to hold him/be near him ALL the time. She also doesn’t give him back when he cries which is just the worst 😫😫

yeah mine thinks she has rights because she was at his birth (big mistake) and was the only one we allowed in the NICU to see him (again mistake, but my sister did come one day) but now he’s home she leaves it weeks without a visit, it’s 9 weeks she’s not seen him now. God knows if she asks about him because she doesn’t message me and my husband doesn’t say anything

if they knew how much their selfish behavior hindered our babies I still don't think they'd stop. It's always the grandparents who try the least with US as parents and our children who WANT our children. I haven't gotten a text or call asking what our son needs or anything. They just buy him what they want him to have then get upset when we aren't grateful. We literally TELL them what he needs diapers wipes and formula. And they'll get him one million shirts that say I love grandma on the front in too big a size because they don't even know what size he wears😭😭

My MiL bought my LB swaddle blankets (he was prem and she had a fear about puttin him in anything else) they were far too big for him they never got used. She then said she’d buy him this and that and never did.
She definitely only does it for her benefit and not his because you can see him try get away from her 🤣

I agree they want to feel like the special ones, why? You’ve had your time with your children to feel special. It’s very selfish behaviour in my opinion. I agree with others on here too we got on before I was pregnant then it all became about her not about my daughter or us as a family just her I just don’t get it

This is my case also. Ignored us for years, and now that we have a child they suddenly want as near them all the time. You can tell that if they had their way, we would leave the baby their alone with them. Couldn’t care less or respect us in whatever way. And get very hurt when we stay or are with my parents 😒 so sick of this toxic behavior

Seriously relax or maybe some grandparents want to look after there grandchildren feel like there helping or build a relationship with there own flesh and blood

I get wanting to spend quality time with their grandchild...but using them to feel like they're correcting mistakes they made in their own parenthood is just wrong. That's the part I've personally had an issue with, and I think that goes for a lot of new moms. Correcting mistakes needs to involve saying something like, "I'm sorry for the things I did wrong, but I hope you know I always loved you," to their adult child. NOT trying to raise someone else's child.

two separate points.

I know I was bought up in a toxic household for years. I then was married to a narcassit. My mum now wants to help show my children what a 'normal' household is like. How arguements are not part of everyday life.

My little boy is almost 4 months and my mom knows its not happening anytime soon, but she talks about it happening in the future all the time. She made the mistake of telling me she isn't going to respect our boundaries on bed sharing when i told her we would bring his pack and play for him to sleep in. Apparently since my nieces sleep with her, she thinks my son will be too, even though my nieces have always coslept and my son never has and me and my husband don't feel safe about it. She will be lucky if she ever gets him overnight, and if she does it will probably be after he can talk and tell me if she does something we don't approve of, like giving him coffee when we already told her not to because she gives it to my nieces.