Is anyone else struggling with mental health PP? I have been in therapy for years and take daily medications to help (mostly with depression) during this journey of pregnancy (and now being a FTM) the end of pregnancy and the birth of my child was something I was both excited and nervous for. I had a feeling I would have my battle with PP depression. I know many women get it and since I struggle with “regular” depression I feared that I would also fall victim to it. I feel the battle starting now and I am riddled with anxiety and can’t stop crying for the last 24 hrs. All that goes through my head is an endless list of “to do’s” , “what ifs” and guilt that I am (unfortunately) human and must take on the “selfish” act of healing. 2 weeks pp and I haven’t allowed myself to lay and rest. My body is in pain but I can’t help but feel useless if I am not actively contributing. The constant need for a soft place to sit after standing or walking for too long makes me feel like someone worth despising. I worry my partner will resent me. I feel jealous of my younger sister, attending concerts and getting tattoos, a luxury I have abandoned. I feel guilt of this jealousy because I am grateful for what I have (my child) and the life I wish to nurture and cultivate. Yet, I mourn my youth. A year of changing body parts and having to learn to embrace every new face I’ve had to morph into (swelling noses and chubby cheeks) now accepting my PP body as somewhere “in the middle”. Not yet able to fit any of my jeans but yet hollow from new life evacuating…
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It’s okay to let yourself cry, and to let yourself feel all the feels. At 2 weeks PP you are bot going to feel like yourself. Your hormones are doing some pretty crazy things. I’m sorry you feel uncomfortable and have all the doubts but it does kind of ebb and flow from my experience. Just try to cut yourself some slack and change the narrative in your head to a more positive and understanding one. The first summer I was PP I felt the same, as far as almost envious of my friends and my old life, this summer my baby is 15 months and I’ve been to concerts with friends, I’ve taken him on fun trips and I am living my life again. The beginning stages with a newborn are just really really hard mentally on the mom, but I promise you will feel so much better as time goes on. Just try to take care of yourself. Sleep, eating nourishing foods, resting…. Watching trash tv was like all I did in the beginning…
Your body needs time to just heal! Once you are out of the healing phase, try yoga 🩵

So sorry you feel this way though. You are not alone! Very very common. 🩵