I’m having a c-section early October. My parents are coming from October 3rd-21st as requested by my husband and I to help with my 14 month old and to help with my recovery. My husband is taking off the 2 weeks after they leave to make sure I’m fully healed. My son was a c-section as well so I understand the recovery process and though I healed quickly the first time it was still a lot on me having my parents and in laws stay in our house.
This baby only my parents will be here right after.
My in laws want to come over thanksgiving break and stay with us in our house. I want to be fair but it’s also very hard because they are not helpful and tend to baby hog or not follow our rules. I want them to stay in a hotel (unfortunately far from our house we live very rural) and I want thanksgiving dinner catered in so there is not that added stress.
We have only mentioned this briefly to my in laws and their solution was to try to come over Christmas break instead. We explained we already had plan with my children’s Godparents who just retired from the military this year and are actually home for the holidays. They didn’t really seem to understand. I explained our house would be open to come to from 11am to 7pm every day but we need our house to ourselves during the stressful night time. They just said we won’t bother you at night. But last time they sat and complained they got no sleep because our baby just cried all night. Idk what I’m asking but does anyone have any idea, thoughts, helps I’m really trying not to stress out but the ruined my postpartum period last time.
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Don’t offer them to stay if it makes you stressed/anxious. It’s not worth it. You could offer a local hotel and say a few day visits (2 hours max) or they can take your older child - if that helps you. Things don’t have to be fair, your parents are helping you after a major operation, that’s very personal. You’re just trying to get through a tricky time, bond with your new baby and keep your older child happy. Your feelings need to come first.
We wouldn’t dream of anyone staying and our baby is 1. Cleaning, bedding, cooking, lack of sleep etc it’s just not worth the hassle. And even more, I wouldn’t be hosting a big event like Christmas! We will do it as a family and will go to others a few days before/after and they can host for us! It’s not being selfish, you’ve got enough on your plate.