MIL asked to take 8 week baby for the day

“I’m no where near ready to leave her yet. I will let you know when I am so you don’t need to worry about keep asking and feeling disappointed”

Ha ha yup, my father in law suggested that him and MIL could look after my 2 month old son for the night if me and my partner wanted to go out for my partners birthday. No bloody way 😂 I explained that he’s a bit too young at the moment to be away from his parents, but thanks for the offer. I didn’t say this bit to them, but if I was to leave him with anyone it would be my mum who he sees more often than my partners parents.

Don’t be worried about her reaction. Your baby, your rules. If she keeps pushing the point, just tell her to speak to her son and have him shut her down.

My baby isnt born yet and I just had that conversation with mine 2 days ago 🤦🏻‍♀️ I know exactly how you feel but I gave a little laugh and ignored the question and she got the message! Stand your ground 🙏🏻

Mine asks to take her out every time we see her but I have barely been away from my lo, the only times I have, have been appointments for myself where she couldn’t attend. I am finding that the older generation will insist on babies being away from their mothers because ‘they will get too used to us’ it’s completely naturally for mother and baby to want to be together don’t do anything you aren’t comfortable with

I had similar with mine. Think my LG was about 2 month old and she just to my hubby, next time they come round they’ll take her for a long walk in the pram! My hubby seen my face drop and said to his mam, no I wasn’t ready for that! She wasn’t happy but I put my foot down. I still have to now with some things but she has realised I will stand my ground as she’s my daughter and not hers! X

** Before anyone comes for me, this is our choice for our family & has also come about through circumstances**

My boys are 3.5 & 23 months.
They've never slept over elsewhere, away from us.
They were both born during COVID so that was a "get out of jail free" card for us. My husband & I are happy for them not to have sleepovers till they can effectively communicate with us what happens whilst they're away from us.
We don't have family nearby who can help us out, so it's a completely moot point at this point.

But what I'm trying to say is, your baby/babies, your rules.
Good luck Mama. 🤞

I also struggled with Post Natal Depression & Anxiety after my first & could not imagine being separated from him. At. ALL.

Xx

Hi I totally get this. My mil has been trying to take my son since he was 5/6 weeks old he is currently 6 months. I think she feels left out as my mum has had him over night once and maybe minds him every 2/3 weeks for me. But here’s the catch, my mum comes up 2/3 times a week to watch him while I bath or rest. My mil has never been in the same room as my baby and me for longer than an hour. I don’t understand why the older generation insist on taking the children out of the house if they want to see them; she insists on taking my step daughter out once a week instead of seeing her in the house with me, it makes me feel so weird that people want alone time without mum. Xx

Nope

Good grief. Why do people think a baby is a toy or dolly to play with 🤦‍♀️😩
It’s a BABY, a tiny vulnerable human in a big scary world and it belongs safe with its mama especially at such a young age.

I wouldn’t consider leaving my baby with anyone other than my husband until he’s at least 1 year old

Urgh I am so glad I’m not alone with this here 🩷

No means no🙄

I’ve had this issue and makes me so anxious the constant msgs and wanting to take him. I’ll not be ready for it for a very long time. My boys 3 months

My MIL told me that she would have my LO every other sunday for the night as she doesnt work mondays.. Erm no thanks. We are going away over night for friends wedding, which i am so anxious for, and my mum is having her over night but in my house. Not ready for her to be 40mins away x

Perhaps I’m playing devils advocate here - but from the comment you’ve written, perhaps she was putting the feelers out to see if you needed/wanted a short break? She didn’t sound demanding or entitled, just “what do you think of it”? Infact she sounded as if she was putting you, and your feelings, as a mother first. My mother took my daughter for a few hours at 6 weeks old. As a single mum, this meant I could focus on cleaning, house prep, and when my daughter was with me - my attention was 100% on her, her interaction, her development etc. not trying to juggle. My mum now takes her once a week (and that’s only because she’s EBF and I need to pump). But yeah, you do what you need to do, it’s just doesn’t sound like she was pressuring and she could be a wonderful support some day x

My baby is 9 months old and I still get so anxious at the thought of my baby being with his in laws and away from me. I have a wedding I need to attend soon and baby will be with my mom since that is who I feel most comfortable him being with. I still barely leave my baby with my husband alone with fear that his parents will come over or he will take the baby to their house without me. I just cannot stand the thought of my baby away from me or with other people without me. I just don’t really trust anyone yet. Is this wrong? :(

Also I’m so glad you posted about this and to see all the other comments that agree. I felt so alone with these feelings for so long.

I feel the same

I like that she asked you in that way rather than just saying she was going to. I’d just be upfront and say I’m not quite ready yet and I don’t think he is either but when I’m ready I’ll let you know

Why do grandparents keep wanting to take babies away from their mothers?! Especially when they’re such a tiny baby!!! And I hate the excuse ‘to give you a break’, if the mum hasn’t asked for a break then don’t assume! My MIL does this all the time and asked to take my son for a weekend when he was only 5 weeks old!! No way on earth. They’re all so annoyed that I actually want to be with my baby 24/7, and like someone said above, the older generation don’t want baby too attached to their mum.

I feel the same way. I’m a SAHM and I actually loveeee being with my baby. I never want to be away from him.

do you let your husband take your child to in laws without you? This is what I’m anxious about

lol well good for you for having a MIL that’s not disrespectful

lmao same

we are touchy because it is our baby and we actually want to spend time with our baby and why does someone need to take an 8 week old baby for the day?! Like exactly what do you want do with them?? A baby that young only needs to be with the mother and father. And so what if she is the grandmother, that does not make her entitled, it’s a privilege to be one.

You don't need to stress yourself with what MIL says, it's your partners mum they can deal with it. She asked you, you said no and that's it. If you feel as though she needs a gentle explanation ask your partner to speak to her.
You don't need the extra stress.

exactly… I guess I just get triggered cuz my made us COME TO HER HOUSE WHEN MY baby was 4 days old so that “we can eat” — and then took him up to her room and placed him on the bed…. I was furious. My partner was not getting it. And THEN two days later showed up at the house and brought me chicken soup ( I’m vegetarian) and papaya and woke up my baby. And the. Proceeded to feed him after I told her he ateeee. I’m still furious… as I washed her pots in the kitchen so she can take it home …. Wow

And there were many other things but hell no - no one is touching my baby when they are newborns only parents watch them

Oh and not to mention how she came the second day to the hospital and brought food for herself and my partner — I swear I think that is what spiked my BP and had to stay in the hospital.

Is this because you don’t have a good relationship with your MIL or another reason? I haven’t read all the comments but perhaps she is trying to give you a break as having a newborn is tiring? My baby was 9 weeks old when I left him overnight for a weekend with my own parents and me and my husband went away two hours away, I trust my parents implicitly but he’s 12 months now and I would not leave him overnight with MIL as the relationship is completely different. My mum was looking after my baby for short periods of time without me from just a couple of weeks old so I could rest or keep on top of the housework. She’d take him for a walk in the pram and it was a godsend tbh. I really think it all depends on the relationship with whoever wants to care for your baby. You need time to take care of yourself sometimes so accept help where you can, if you can 🙂

I think honestly, grandparents are so excited to get involved they can come across as OTT sometimes. At 8 weeks old, aside from feeling tired I wasn’t in any real need of a break however now at 12 months he is exhausting and honestly I’m so glad I didn’t push any of that support away because I need it now more than ever! He’s on the move and bloody everywhere 😂 I would only allow him at my own parents overnight but daytime care he goes to my in laws as well. This has allowed me to work without nursery fees so although it might make you uncomfortable now, just be mindful of the future support you may need. Unless there is a bad relationship with them, why can they not take the baby in the pram for an hour so you can get an undisturbed shower or eat in peace? All day is excessive for a first time but why not build it up over a few weeks? Or let MIL watch baby downstairs whilst you relax upstairs for an hour with a book? So you’re in the house but get the rest you deserve whilst MIL is

enjoying Grandma-ing as I call it 😂 honestly unless there are bad feelings in the relationship, enjoy an hour to yourself 🙂