New Mom Anxiety

Hello! I’m a new and expecting mom, and I’m having trouble accepting that some of my closest friends who originally seemed so happy about me having a baby, are now pulling away and no longer really want to be involved in my life. I fully understand outgrowing people and how much your life will change with a child, but I’ve only been pregnant for 4 months and it feels so lonely knowing they truly never were my friends..
I’ve been excluded from events, left on delivered for days at a time and even ignored.

Has anyone else experienced this and if so, how did you learn to manage with the emotions of it? In other words, I suppose disappointed that the people you thought cared really do not.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

Hey so Yes I am currently going through this it is very much painful because you feel alone I honestly don’t know if this will help you but I started Journaling, I start therapy next week and start school next month October.

I decided today is the last day I’m going to not care about people who don’t care about me trust me those same people are going to be begging when your baby come to see your baby but neglected you at your hardest time We are in a very emotional state which no one understands and how I’m coping with everything is staying positive and busy with my time and ignoring all negativity it’s going to be hard but you can do it I broke down so many times I’m still crying everyday but I know we all are going to make and be happy at the end when we finally meet our baby and fall in love all over again REAL LOVE no one can take away and experience And i cannot wait I’m due 2/9/2024 the day before my bday just please be more gentle to your self and your heart💕

Have you spoken to them about it ? Some people tend to distance themselves not purposely but just because the situation is different now , you probably can’t engage in all the activities they are doing . First let them know how you feel , though it may not change them from inviting you to thing but they should at least try to do things that can participate in . And you will lose friends that aren’t moms because you are now on either huge or slightly different path from them that’s normal , that doesn’t mean they weren’t real friends . It’s just you guys no longer serve a purpose in each other’s lives. Try and make some mom friends but most of all enjoy your pregnancy with those who want to be there and enjoy it with you . Pregnancy is stressful enough don’t let the little things make it worse

Yes! I love my friends but they want to go out and feel bad inviting me I think. We still do dinners, etc, but our lifestyles will be very different. I expect it will get worse. But it’s okay! You’ll still have them just in a different way and you’ll be exposed to new friends also. You’re okay:)

Yes I go through the same stuff don’t nobody text me back I don’t get invited anywhere anymore and I don’t have nobody to talk to

I would try inviting them somewhere? Its possible they just dont think you'd be interested in going out anymore. But also, if you have any acquaintances pregnant or with young kids, even if you arent that close, reach out! Some of the people I am closest to now were just acquaintances before I had a child. But having a kid gives you a lot in common and everyone I reached out to was super welcoming when i became a mom.

in our community

Family culture difference on money

Sorry this is long, I hope some of you get to the end and give advice!!!

So I’m a very thrifty person, things are tight at the moment, the cost of living crisis and my house is heated by oil so things are extortionate. We aren’t on the bread line but we aren’t flush, hubby might be made redundant so there is some financial pressure.

Sometimes I buy my sons something nicer, on the justification that I can sell it on after (♥️ vinted ♥️). I have also been planning on pretty much breaking even most of the baby things I bought from face book market place, side by crib, baby changing unit, etc.

Hubby and I have different money cultures with our families (he’s Indian, I’m British). I’m my family we don’t mix money, we would help each other out if someone was in trouble and will get each other gifts on special occasions. With hubby’s family money is much more fluid, they will give each other things worth thousands of £ just because.

Hubby’s brother bought him a new laptop and a new Google phone, he’s been very generous to hubby. Hubby hasn’t given the same back because brother is much richer.

Hubby and I mostly share finances. If it’s relevant I’m the higher earner.

Now to the point! My babies are so cute they’ve given hubby’s brother (currently single) baby rabies. He’s asked for our baby stuff when we’re done with it. He’s been so generous to hubby I feel really stingy saying no. But I’d never have bought some of the stuff if I wasn’t going to get a return on it - the thought makes me a bit anxious. If we gave all our baby stuff given the second hand value it still wouldn’t equal what the brother had given hubby.

I thought maybe I could give him some stuff but sell some stuff, but hubby said then his brother will just have to go out and buy that stuff, so I should name my price and ask his brother for the money. That makes me feel very uncomfortable, given how generous the brother has been to hubby.

So what do I do ladies? Give it all and suck it up? Give part of it and sell parts on Vinted/FB, or ask hubbys brother for money for it and be uncomfortable? Or do you see another solution?

No one is being entitled or rude here, just a culture difference I need to navigate.

My relationship is failing I feel so alone.. I need a girlfriend to talk to :(

I'm a sahm and I feel so stuck... anyone going through the same thing? I could really use someone to relate to and talk through this with. Feeling so vulnerable but if I don't I won't be able to pull myself out of this

Going back to work!

Already thinking about this! Told my boss I was pregnant this week at 10 weeks, he was so happy for me. He’s recently became a first time Dad and was showing me pictures of his baby. I told him my plans about going back after 6 months and he looked at me like I was mad, am I!? I absolutely love my job and cannot imagine giving it up, I manage a team and am petrified my position won’t be there if I had a year off. My husband gets 6 months full pay so the plan would be for him to have the last 6 months off and I also made it clear to my boss that I would like to go part time. That way we can hopefully parent together 4/7 days rather than just the weekend! I am such an overthinking! 🤣 but this is what I’m struggling with the most, I’ve worked full time since I was 17 (12 years ago) and the max time I’ve had off in one go is 2 weeks when I got married. I’m sooo excited to be a Mum and we decided now was the right time, which it 100% is! But I feel so on edge about not working! I’m sure once I’m on maternity leave I won’t even think about work! Has anyone else felt the same?

What are we giving our soon-to-be 3yo for their birthdays?

We have the magnetiles, we have the kinetic sand and play doh, we have the play kitchen…

Literally, is there anything left in the world to buy this spoilt kid? 😅

Go to dinner ideas

Looking for recipes you use in your family that are not the traditional lasagna, shepards pie, ect

Is it just me?

I’m 35. I have a 21 month old and i’m 5 months pregnant. I have no friends. Everyone has either drifted away or ghosted me. I don’t know what i’ve done but i’m so lonely now. My best friend of 20 years has ghosted me and i’m heartbroken. I’ve tried to reach out to other friends but never get anywhere. I don’t know how to make new friends. I honestly just feel so alone.