Struggling

Im struggling right now my partner doesn’t really help im 9 weeks pregnant with really bad morning sickness and fatigue and we also have an 11month old daughter. My partner has gone to take his son to get a cake for his birthday which ofc is fine but hes ignored me 3 times now hes the breadwinner so has all the money and i asked him to transfer money so i could order something we have some stuff in the house but i cant eat it because if my morning sickness. I have no family or friends and he just ignores me whenever he wants this isn’t the only time. I have no one to talk to because im so bad at texting people back i feel so alone💔my baby also went to nursery but has stopped now due to not having enough money he said he would take care of her sometimes but when he does he wont change her nappy or put her to sleep😩this is just a rant. ☹️

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.
Add a comment
Avatar

This sounds really tough, have you checked what benefits your entitled to and claiming them all? I know if your claiming UC you can get money towards childcare costs. So id check if your entitled to anything. As well as child benefits, it's not a lot but somethings better than nothing.

Avatar

i get benefits but it pays half rent then i have £200 left and £130 council tax i can get anything for childcare as this money would go down

Avatar

Ahh that sucks, I didn't realise it affected how much UC you get. Can you get a council tax reduction if you haven't already? Could you discuss having a shared bank account that he puts money into for you set up? Me and my partner are doing something similar while I'm not working, I hate asking for money so he gave me his credit card to use for food shopping, petrol etc and then he just pays it off when he gets paid. Or could he take on a larger proportion of the bills? I think its a bit unfair for you to still be paying half the rent etc when your only income is the UC. Also always down for a general chat if you want someone to talk to, I'm also not the best at replying sometimes but if you want feel free to message me if you want to chat to someone or vent. It's tough when even though your in a relationship you feel a bit like your a single parent ( I'm there right now, my partner works 12 hours 6 days a week so although he supports us financially I do 100% of the childcare/housework)

Avatar

i cant get a reduction as its both me and him living together and our rent is too expensive thats why he cant afford it neither can i we are hoping to move but its a pain to find a house our rent is £1350 a month without bills 2bed :( i can have money when i need but I’d rather not have his cards because im rubbish at keeping things im scared i would lose it. Thank you i will message you soon. I feel like a single parent even though its mostly not his fault i feel like theres times he could chip in but he doesnt

Avatar

Ouch, I hope you find somewhere cheaper soon that's crazy expensive! We live with friends and pay 1600 for a 4 bed house! Yeah I just thought maybe having your own card would mean you wouldn't get stuck in a situation like that again, maybe link his card to apple/Google pay on your phone? Or whatever delivery/shopping service you use regularly? When you message me if you want help looking for somewhere/ coming up with ways to save cash where you can let me know. I'm a bit of a budget freak and love to help people save money.

Avatar

thank you manchester is pretty expensive from what i’ve seen and yeh i didnt think of that thank you! I will text you after my lo has gone to bed as shes keeping me busy thank you so much☺️

Read more on Peanut

Trending

in our community

Is it bad of me to think this or no?

My husband has been abroad for work (1 day and exploring for 1 day) for 2 and a half days which means I’ve had both kids (1 year and 4 year old) for 2 and a half days plus cooking, cleaning, taking them to clubs, bedtimes!
He came home late afternoon and said I’m so tired, I just need to chill. I said can you wash up whilst I sort kids dinner out, he said he’ll do it later which means he won’t do it and I’ll end up doing it so I said no do it now please otherwise I’ll end up doing it and he said well you have been home and I’ve been away so you’ve just been relaxing.
Don’t know what planet he is on but having the kids alone for 2.5 days is not relaxing. I was stressed!

When he was away, I did miss him and wanted him to come back but now he’s back, I want him to go away again😂
Is that bad?

Avatar

2

13

Post partum dad

I have a 2 month old. A few weeks ago my husband crashed out because he didn't feel like he was getting to bond with her. I started exclusively breastfeeding around that time and honestly didnt see the big deal. Baby and I left for a few days and when we got back home, everything was fine. He was extremely hands-on. He helped with my meals, her bedtime, bath, stories.....for a few weeks it was great. Then he randomly sounds depressed af. He says our lo is better off without him, he wants to sleep all day , he asks me not to watch tv then tried playing a video game. He refused to reply to me when i asked any follow-up questions. Then he woke up our baby trying to race me to the bathroom first thing in the morning . He's doing a weird mix of crying, trying, and giving up. Im starting to feel like I cant handle him not being able to handle life with baby and just want to be alone. Are there resources for men?

Avatar

3

6

Really bothered by this

A friend posted this and it really bothers me because that is exactly how she parents her kid, and it's rather unfortunate because when our kids hang out together, her kid has a meltdown at least 5x within an hour. We have know them for years and it's only gotten worse. My kids will concede to hers, because they don't want to see their friend crying, but it sucks because they give up so much of their toys and enjoyment to keep the peace. We aren't hanging out as much anymore but it's rather sad to think she doesn't intervene more in her child tantrums and just let's it slide

Avatar

4

Feeding

My son is coming up to five months and I just started giving him oatmeal and rice cereal. When can you start trying veggies or fruits? I only give him the oatmeal or rice cereal once a day right now which is what the paediatrician had said to do. I’m just curious to when anybody tried anything else with their kids cause my son eats a lot of formula and he’s VERY curious when I eat.

Avatar

6

6

My 2 year old won’t eat nothing but snacks

Is this normal ? He won’t even try anything I eat .. he really only like pizza fries and spaghetti… nuggets and snacks bananas some other fruit but like anything else he won’t eat if try but I don’t want to force him I’m just I feel like bad I mean he isn’t losing weight I breastfeed mostly still

Avatar

1

8

Is this normal

Let’s say you’re at a softplay with your 2 year old, and some friends & their toddlers.
You buy your 2 year old a kids meal - chicken nuggets, beans, and chips. They’re very happy with it and have almost eaten it all.
They’re sat at the table, fork in hand, consistently eating, and have one chicken nugget left.
Your adult friend comes over from behind you, picks up the last chicken nugget, and eats it.
There was no indication that your child wasn’t going to eat it, and they didn’t ask. They just took it with no warning and ate it right in front of you and your toddler.
How you reacting?

Avatar

13

Read more on Peanut