Really struggling
I want to say that I’m going to book a doctors appointment to discuss this - just wondering if anyone else has ever felt or feels this way and what the outcome was.
I have two under 2, the youngest is 6 months old.
I struggle with feeling stressed, and angry.
I become agitated really easily now.
I am tired.
I am struggling.
I feel SO triggered by the noise of my babies crying or screaming - particularly if I am needing to get things done or I’m in the middle of something and then I can’t finish the task. I find it an inconvenience and I feel deeply angry about it. I can’t respond to them calmly. I feel like I go 0-100 really quickly. I have never or would never cause harm to them, but I find myself thinking and even saying “shut up” to them. I know they’re expressing themselves the only way they can, and when I’m calm I understand, but in the moment I cannot react calmly.
I have everything to feel grateful for - a partner, two happy healthy babies, a new home.. but I feel miserable all of the time. I don’t ever get a break, I breastfeed my youngest currently and hate the thought of them being away from me incase anything happens.
Baby won’t take a bottle and wakes every 2 hours so im always surviving on broken sleep. I feel awful - this isn’t the parent I want to be. This isn’t how I was with my first when I only had her, I feel like I’m just overwhelmed with the work that comes with 2 and how little I can get done around the house because of them that it’s coming out as anger.
I love my babies more than anything, and we have such lovely moments through the day, but I just don’t know if there is something wrong with me and that’s why I feel so mad.. or if it’s just normal, but I don’t think it is.
I don’t even know if this is worth going to the doctors for or if they’re going to think I’m silly or just can’t cope.
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There is nothing wrong with you. What you are feeling is completely normal for all mums to have at some point or other.
Definitely worth going to the docs to talk to them about it. Sounds like many of the indicators of PPD (post partum depression). [Just to note you don't have to go on meds if you don't want to, docs have access to many resources that may help you, meds is just one option.]
Are you going to any baby/child groups where you can talk to other mums? Many of them are or have been in the same situation. My LO is 7wks and I'm currently going through the same, I feel its a huge accomplishment if I just mange to feed us all in the day let alone do anything else at the moment. Xx
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