How do you discipline your toddler

We smack the back of my toddler’s hand if he isn’t behaving and talking alone isn’t working. We do it in steps, not just immediately hit him.
1. Tell him to stop
2. Tell him that if he continues, he will be hit
3. Take his hand and ask if he wants to be hit
4. If he still doesn’t stop after those 3 warnings, we smack the back of his hand

He knows what’s coming after the first few times, so most times he will stop before getting his hand hit.

It’s different with every kid. With my oldest, only spanking would work. With my youngest (a toddler now) only time-outs work. She could care less about spankings. So I think unfortunately you just have to figure out what works best for your child.

yes we smack his hand too just like how you said like we’ll say no 2 times and after that if he’s doing it well smack his hand but sometimes he thinks it’s funny. So I’m like what I’m I going to do?!?

thank you. It’s hard especially when I’m hands are full with his sister. It’s not like they are always full with her I do spend one and one time with him as well. Just some days I will be busy and he’s just not listening no matter what I do.

What do you think hitting a child is going to teach them about hitting? Children are literal. If you hit to get your way, expect for them to do the same. Model the behavior you want to see.

Show him where he can climb. Show him what hands are for. Use your words as you would expect for someone to do with you. You’re reinforcing that hitting is okay every time you hit.

What are his triggers? Hungry, tired, over or under stimulated, needing attention? How are you setting him up for the day to keep him busy? Do you have a routine?

Banging on the window…try window decals that he can put on and off the window. Super educational too. Get creative.

Hitting is not respectful to a child in anyway. It’s violating a their brains are developing. Saying “no” without redirection and explanation and expecting them to just get it is permissive and not helpful.

A child’s brain simply recognizes harm - not “mommy is hitting bc I did something bad” (which is still not okay). The hormonal release that happens when they’re harmed is the same. Doesn’t matter what your “intentions” are.

if you wanna go off do it somewhere else. I literally put this on here saying no judgment please. And here you are going off. I understand but never did I say I enjoy doing it. I cry every time and I don’t do it constantly. Again yeah it’s not something I should be doing. I agree hitting isn’t ok. I wouldn’t say that’s why I have to do or my only way to get him to listen. But I did and that’s why I’m trying to ask for other moms way of doing things. Telling me it’s not ok and still going off about it just in a different way isn’t helping anyone b/c I already know that.

I didn’t go off. You asked how you disciplined and I asked questions and gave suggestions.

If you’re crying from hitting, I’d imagine that your child is crying or at the least being hurt from being hit. You’re wanting empathy and not giving it. That’s not judgement, it is what’s happening. I suggested modeling the behavior that you want to see along with other things.

He’s not listening because hitting is permissive. It stops a behavior in the moment. Behavior is communication. Engage, redirect, understand triggers so that you can meet the needs. I mentioned all of this above. Manage your expectations of this tiny human. He’s had a small amount of time on this Earth and you’ve had plenty enough to be able to regulate your emotions and still having trouble. You’re asking a toddler to meet expectations that you aren’t. Giving grace would be an amazing start.

Nothing is being said in judgment to you, but rather in general care of children deserving to be parented respectfully.

https://instagram.com/mrchazz?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

https://instagram.com/biglittlefeelings?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

I flick his hand! I’m very generous with my warnings! First I instruct him away get away from the hazard he is putting himself by saying, “unhnt- unhnt”. He is REALLY familiar with that sound! If he doesn’t I move like I’m going to pick him up and put him somewhere else. He knows if I get up, he’s moving! If he continues, I get up and remove him physically/ make him stop whatever it is he is doing. I can go days and days without actually having to physically reprimand him, I have him trained pretty much. I acknowledge his every cry and we’ve built that trust and respect with one another. This morning (we co-sleep btw), he was frustrated because it was still to early for us to get up (4am), he started clawing my face. I move his hand and said unhnt-unhnt 3x before I gave him a warning flick under his palm. He quit. I think it’s safe to say he completely understand the process of discipline/ consequences.

This toddler stage can be so rough . You’re doing great mama !
I have noticed with my little one when she starts to have these type of days just extra hugs and attention is what she needs sitting a reading or having her be my helper for house work . And just letting her know mommy wants to keep you safe please don’t do these things .also counting has been helping lately , she’s been climbing on her changing table too and I will say mommy’s going to count to 5 you need to get down or I will have to do it myself.

I’m constantly telling him to get down. And he does know when I say stuff like: “get down please. don’t go up there. not right now.” Then If I’m constantly tell him that over and over then I will get a little louder like in a stern voice “no get down now!” And he usually listens b/c he knows I’ll grab him and put him down and he will get upset but after a couple more times of going back and forth he starts thinking it’s a game. And then idk what else to do. 😩

maybe I’ll start doing that instead only if I have to I hate being physical in anyway it breaks my heart. I’m trying my best to communicate but sometimes it’s just hard b/c I’m taking care of 2 kids by myself. He’s almost 3 and my daughter will be 1 so I do my best to get one on one time with both and even together but when he doesn’t listen is when I’m trying to feed her sometimes I wonder if that’s when he waits to act up. I know it’s ridiculous to even assume that but he is very smart.

thank you! I’ll have to do the counting thing. But like I said in another comment he usually listens when I tell him to get down or no and even get a little louder the only time he won’t listen is when I’m feeding his sister like he waits for me to do that it’s crazy.

It’s not silly to assume that. My baby will block my phones view literally plop his whole body in front of it if he can’t have my phone and I’m not paying attention to him. He did that once before I realized some of the misbehavior may be from lack of attention. Your baby might be jealous of the attention he’s not receiving while u feed your other kid, So he robs it be misbehaving. My baby isn’t nearly as old but once I realize he was being WILLFULLY disobedient, meaning he understood “no, stop, unhnt-unhnt, put it down!” ( I caught him smiling after I repeatedly asked him not to do something. I turned around and when I turned back around he paused when I looked at him and smiled- he knew what he was doing!) I figured he was old enough then to be disciplined. Habits are HARD to break, so I nipped it in the bud right then! I took about a lil over a week. I simply have to warn him now at most! He’s 10 months today. But it’s important to consider their emotions as well, that’s where…

Respect/ reciprocation comes in hand! Any time he cries I always stop and devote my full attention to him. I see it as “my baby needs me”. He trusts me too. I’ve saved his butt a few times from falling chocking, etc and he knows it! And is he is misbehaving more than usual I get to root! It might be me! He needs more of something that he feels he isn’t getting. I know I wrote a lot, I hope it is helpful!

My goal is to define boldly a parent/child relationship in the foundation of respect. I’m am the parent he is the child! The first time he threw a tantrum ignored the misbehavior he hasn’t done much of that since! I highly suggest you start doing that if you haven’t already as long as your child is safe ignore any bad behavior/ don’t react!