Almost all of my friendships have ended after having kids

I had a huge falling out today with my best friend of almost a decade. We used to work together, talked everyday and made it a priority to see each other once a week. I'm 33 and she's in her early 50's with no children. She was my closest friend and I saw her as a mentor that was always there for me. She knew that my husband and I wanted to try for baby 2 and when I announced my pregnancy she disappeared.

I haven't heard from her since July so I reached out today. During our conversation she pretty much admitted that my having kids annoys her because I'm not as responsive via text and sometimes plans have to change or be cancelled. She said that she wasn't ever going to reach out since our second baby is on the way and ended the friendship. I told her that I'm surprised by her lack of compassion & understanding and that if all it took to end our nearly decade long friendship was a missed text, then I wish her the best.

I have no other friends left. My husband and I moved to a new city right before my daughter was born and right before covid. I stay pretty busy with work, taking care of the house, my daughter and husband so it doesn't affect me too much. But this whole interaction has made me realize that I lost nearly all of my friends once I had kids and I'm curious if I'm the only one?

I don't want to make myself feel bad bc when I moved I made it a priority to keep in touch with my girlfriends. But since all of them are child free it feels like they just stopped having any interest in me. I don't miss the partying or going out but I do miss having connections and other women to talk to. Has this happened to anyone else??

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she was never your friend and you’re better off without. either way losing friends is hard. Sorry for your loss 💔

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you're so right, thank you 💕

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when I was younger I used to get jealous of my friends that were getting pregnant and having babes while I was just like wtf is wrong with me. I had to do self work and stop operating from a position of fear and comparison. I can empathise with that but a good friend would have sat you down and spoke to you about their feelings and allow you the chance to adjust while remaining flexible to the fact that life happens and plans will change. Being that she is 50 years old and passed her babymaking age. She should never have engaged in the friendship to begin with. If she was unable to handle you being a mum.

Take solace in the fact that you have a wonderful husband and soon will have two children. I am confident that you will find better friends!

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such a thoughtful response, it's making me tear up. Thank you. Recognizing you needed to work on yourself is huge and also a hard pill to swallow but you're right about the fact that she should've openly talked about her feelings. Appreciate your advice

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The same is happening to me! I’m not in contact that much with my childless friends either

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so heartbreaking, I'm sorry that you're going through it too ❤️

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Unfortunately this is common . You have to let things go . Sounds like at least you were able to have transparent conversation . What is the saying? Some last a season and others last a lifetime? Connection is very important and I’m sure new connections will form if you want them too. Send her love and move on . It’s hurtful but you are not alone!

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This happened to me as well. I live in LA people just trying to have a good time here. Also anything that is about babies is expensive, time consuming so a lot of people just stopped inviting me to places and I ended up being alone. But I joined church and there’s a good group of people. They make me feel good. They are not friends but who knows. Maybe do the same?

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