I am mentally done in already today 😭

I could cry today 😭

I didn't settle down until 2 am this morning due to stressing about money and how I'm going to manage Christmas with all these bills, presents and rubbish pay. I'm supposed to be having an afternoon off from mum duties on Saturday and all I can think is how I should cancel and save money but my husband has told me not to and I need the time off

My baby still wakes in the night so I'm back up again at 4, falling asleep feeding him. I put him back down and get a bit more sleep only to be woken by my 2 year old at 6.... He usually sleeps til 8 , but of course he chose today to be up at 6. He hears my husband getting ready for work and then wants to go see daddy. Which obviously means there's no chance of him going back to sleep now.

He goes downstairs for breakfast with dad, all while I'm laid in bed re-evaluating my life. Dad comes up and says you coming down? I say no, just send him back up to me. And he says I can't he's sat at the breakfast bar eating his toast. So I'm like well it's not really a question then is it?

I go downstairs and take my 2 year old into the playroom and I see that a slug has been in there and slimed all over his toys 👍🏻 just what I needed. So I sit cleaning all his toys with baby wipes while my baby is screaming cause he wants feeding.

I finally get done cleaning, feed my baby and then the demands start, can you read this, can you get me an apple, can you build this tower. I make a cup of tea and a bowl of cereal, I sit down.... Can I have some of that??????

Today can just do one already 😭

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It sounds really hard. Definitely take the day off on Saturday, remember you can’t pour from an empty cup.

At this age Christmas doesn’t need to be expensive, they’ll love playing with the boxes as much as anything else x

I can read this and would love to help.

If you know any nanny you trust I can help pay for a couple of hours so you can get some rest? Would that help?

Definitely take some time off on Saturday and don’t feel guilty for it!

I like the rule of ‘something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read’ when it comes to Christmas gifts.
Remember all this stuff can be second hand too! You can find amazing things that people have barely used ❤️
Remind your children that Christmas is a time for giving and spending time with family and making traditions xx

Oh, lovely, definitely take that Saturday time off - sounds like you will definitely need it.

Sounds as though we are both dealing with similar.. I have a 16.5m and 3.5m old. Yesterday elder baby didn’t go to bed until almost 11 when her bedtime is usually around 8, the younger baby 11.30 (40mins earlier than the previous 2 nights) but I lay in bed waiting to see if she stirred awake but must have drifted off eventually only to need to pee at 3. Come back to bed couldn’t get to sleep so I got up around 4 to try to sort some of their stuff out . Check on the babies (we’re all in same room in different beds) and the eldest wakes. I try to settle her back down but she was having none of it so she’s up with me at 5.20 wanting to play and the place looks a tip from where I’ve pulled their wardrobe out and put all the clean washing with it to put it back nice. Hubby comes home at 6 and plays on the PlayStation to wind down so I still play with daughter until she realises she’s tired..

.. we go back to bed only for the 3.5m to wake an hour later and we’re all back up again.. hubby helps for a bit and I send him back to bed cos how he’s putting things away is stressing me out (even though they won’t stay there for 5 minutes with my elder babe). I’m tired, hungry and overwhelmed already !!

Sorry for essay, just want you to know you’re not alone, days are tough but you’ll get there and definitely, definitely go out Saturday and enjoy yourself.

Sending a big hug from one tired mama to another!

oh bless your heart ❤️ sounds like you too need a rest.
Don't apologise for the essay, I know only too well that sometimes you need to blurt everything out otherwise it just goes round and round your head over and over. I hope you're ok

thank you. It's not just the boys because I know they're young enough to not remember what they get for Christmas and I want to teach them that it's all about time with family, feeling the joys and being loved. But it's all the gifts for the family that's annoying. I've told everyone it's minimal this year because of the situation. And I put a box of chocolates/selection box on the shop every week to try split the cost and I've been looking for gifts on Vinted and or for vouchers online and shopping around for best prices, I am also regifting things I have been given too. Hubby has told me to not get him anything because of money but I feel he's the one who needs gifts the most with all he's doing right now and covering the cost of most things. I got him a gift from the boys from buyagift, I had a voucher for £10 off and got a family day out experience, that way it's a gift of memories as opposed to 'stuff'

Thank you for understanding - honestly didn’t mean to write so much or nake it about me I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone and days (and nights!) get crazy. I’m ok, thank you I think MIL is coming at the weekend and although she drives me crazy sometimes hopefully she’ll take the girls for a bit so I can recharge as it’s been full on recently even if it’s just a trip to get groceries on my own so I can browse and take my time !!

If you ever want to get things off your chest Feel free to message

I had a day like this yesterday. Life with a toddler and a baby is so full on. You are not alone.

I totally get that. I don’t think gifts should be such a big thing in general.
I’ve never done gifts for family, siblings, parents and we’ve never really done gifts for spouses either and I’m really glad about it. I’ve always hated that sense of ‘obligation’ to buy people gifts…

In our traditions, the older generations tend to give to the younger as those are the people that need things as they’re at the beginning of their lives though I would say that’s not expected either, just something they do if they feel inclined.

Honestly if you send around a message saying please don’t buy anything for us, we just want to spend time together this year I’m sure people will understand you not getting them anything either ❤️❤️❤️ xxx

in our community

Family culture difference on money

Sorry this is long, I hope some of you get to the end and give advice!!!

So I’m a very thrifty person, things are tight at the moment, the cost of living crisis and my house is heated by oil so things are extortionate. We aren’t on the bread line but we aren’t flush, hubby might be made redundant so there is some financial pressure.

Sometimes I buy my sons something nicer, on the justification that I can sell it on after (♥️ vinted ♥️). I have also been planning on pretty much breaking even most of the baby things I bought from face book market place, side by crib, baby changing unit, etc.

Hubby and I have different money cultures with our families (he’s Indian, I’m British). I’m my family we don’t mix money, we would help each other out if someone was in trouble and will get each other gifts on special occasions. With hubby’s family money is much more fluid, they will give each other things worth thousands of £ just because.

Hubby’s brother bought him a new laptop and a new Google phone, he’s been very generous to hubby. Hubby hasn’t given the same back because brother is much richer.

Hubby and I mostly share finances. If it’s relevant I’m the higher earner.

Now to the point! My babies are so cute they’ve given hubby’s brother (currently single) baby rabies. He’s asked for our baby stuff when we’re done with it. He’s been so generous to hubby I feel really stingy saying no. But I’d never have bought some of the stuff if I wasn’t going to get a return on it - the thought makes me a bit anxious. If we gave all our baby stuff given the second hand value it still wouldn’t equal what the brother had given hubby.

I thought maybe I could give him some stuff but sell some stuff, but hubby said then his brother will just have to go out and buy that stuff, so I should name my price and ask his brother for the money. That makes me feel very uncomfortable, given how generous the brother has been to hubby.

So what do I do ladies? Give it all and suck it up? Give part of it and sell parts on Vinted/FB, or ask hubbys brother for money for it and be uncomfortable? Or do you see another solution?

No one is being entitled or rude here, just a culture difference I need to navigate.

My relationship is failing I feel so alone.. I need a girlfriend to talk to :(

I'm a sahm and I feel so stuck... anyone going through the same thing? I could really use someone to relate to and talk through this with. Feeling so vulnerable but if I don't I won't be able to pull myself out of this

Go to dinner ideas

Looking for recipes you use in your family that are not the traditional lasagna, shepards pie, ect

Going back to work!

Already thinking about this! Told my boss I was pregnant this week at 10 weeks, he was so happy for me. He’s recently became a first time Dad and was showing me pictures of his baby. I told him my plans about going back after 6 months and he looked at me like I was mad, am I!? I absolutely love my job and cannot imagine giving it up, I manage a team and am petrified my position won’t be there if I had a year off. My husband gets 6 months full pay so the plan would be for him to have the last 6 months off and I also made it clear to my boss that I would like to go part time. That way we can hopefully parent together 4/7 days rather than just the weekend! I am such an overthinking! 🤣 but this is what I’m struggling with the most, I’ve worked full time since I was 17 (12 years ago) and the max time I’ve had off in one go is 2 weeks when I got married. I’m sooo excited to be a Mum and we decided now was the right time, which it 100% is! But I feel so on edge about not working! I’m sure once I’m on maternity leave I won’t even think about work! Has anyone else felt the same?

What are we giving our soon-to-be 3yo for their birthdays?

We have the magnetiles, we have the kinetic sand and play doh, we have the play kitchen…

Literally, is there anything left in the world to buy this spoilt kid? 😅

Baby groups?

Hello there!!
I hope you enjoying the 5month babies 🫠 the cuteness outweighs everything over here.
We live in the area of Croydon & need to start going to baby groups ( I NEED it more than him though) but I am a little bit clueless. Any recommendations?
We are happy to travel a bit too.
Thanks ☺️