Having a hard time wrapping my head around sleep training

I don’t know if I have advice because every baby is different! My little one was the same way and it broke my heart.

However, I started getting into the same routine and explaining bedtime to her and asking if she was ready. She’s 18 month old. We would then at 7:30ish walk to her room together, turn the light off together, turn in the white noise bear and i would put her in her crib.

From there I would talk to her and tell her it’s time for bed. Gesture to putting her head down and patting the crib mattress. First night was a rough hour, but now everytime it’s peaceful and she loves it. Says good night to everyone and enjoys bed time. No fuss, out like a light in 15m.

In the end talking and routine about bed time helped. No crying it out. Just making her space comfortable.

me personally, i don’t believe in letting my baby cry, it raises their cortisol levels and they don’t know how to regulate it without us. i also get anxiety from hearing her cry lol. so, i give my baby a bath every night, then a bottle and hold her til she falls asleep. some nights she’s stubborn but i always stay and comfort her for as long as it takes. is that bad? lol

Honestly 3 months is too early to train with that method. For this age you would soothe baby until they’re drowsy then lie them down gently. Switch to your hands when you lie her down. Feet, bottom, and head last this way you won’t trigger the startle. If she wakes fully then you rest your hand on them snd gently rock your baby to sleep.

I sleep trained all my kids with Ferber at 5 months... You might be too early for that. Just have a consistent routine and rock to sleep still

Even most sleep trainers don't recommend sleep training until 6 months, she's definitely too young.

Babies have different temperaments and some really don't respond well to being left to cry. It works for some but not for others.

Also if you decide it is what's right for you then that's ok, but please don't ever think it's something you have to do.

please dont leave a baby to cry for that long 😭 this has broke my heart! sleep training is so detrimental to their development and really bad for them, and to do it at 3 months is absolutely horrendous, why are you trying to sleep train? it doesnt work, it just teaches the baby noone is coming so they eventually get themselves to sleep but it’s because they feel abandoned not safe to sleep.

no its not bad, youre doing a great job and you and your baby will have the best attachment

Hi, sleep training isn't easy it takes time and routine, I haven't had my little one yet but in the centre I work at I work with the under 1s and I've worked with many families with the sleep training, and the best way to go forward would be routine and not going straight to the sitting next to them it's a big change that they don't understand fully.

Start with holding her follow your normal routine but before she falls asleep transition into cot lay her down and keep you hand on her, if you rock in arms move your hand in the same motion to move her still, if you just hold you could do lite pats, or just having your hand there. This let's them know that you are still there, if she is crying you could make "shh" sounds or humming.

When she takes to this and it becomes smoother, you move to the next stage of your normal routine but instead of holding you put her in while she is fully awake and go straight to what you choose to do while she is in the cot, this continues till she is smoothly going to sleep.

The third step would be to limit the movement you make to settle her while in the cot, limiting it till the point where you can put her in have your had on her say goodnight and she is calm and you can sit next to her with you hand on her with no movements till she sleeps, when that happens you can look at doing the routine put her in, say good sleep and walk out the room and she will go to sleep.

You don’t have to do it 🤍

It takes time, there are hard days, regressions where you need to go back a step, but it does work with time and routine, I have found when the little ones are with family they can get it quicker then while at care, it's time and it's hard I feel for the little ones as they go through this but when they are able to do it I feel for them and the achievements made with the child and their family. You are in the wrong for finding it hard and feeling for your little heart, and it's hard to get information as there are many ways to sleep train, this is one way I learned from tricilian and felt was the best for implementing and the one that works.

Time wise work with it over 1 to 2 months or short as you are with them her more, it's a different time for all and depends on how many sleeps your little one has to how long it takes, the younger they are they are more then likely still on the do something 4 times for that part of the day and it's a routine for them.

Hope this helps, happy to answer any questions 😊

There is a woman on tiktok that discusses gentle sleep training and bedside soothing that I think you might enjoy. Here is her link: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRvhQBfE/

I personally have never let my baby cry out at bed time. It's distressing and the thought of any child crying themselves to sleep just upsets me. I've always cuddled my girl to sleep and now at 2.5 has had a little cuddle with me or her dad on her bed, some milk then self soothes in bed independently. She knows she's safe and I think that's what keeps her calm for bed x

My son is 2 1/2 now. I tried sleep training with the cry it out method a few nights, but my son just wouldn’t sleep. It was too much for both of us. It was really, really hard, but I just continued to rock him and sometimes nurse him to sleep every single time until he was well over a year. Sometimes I’d spend an hour putting him down for bed, but at least he knew that I wasn’t leaving him. Now that he’s in a toddler bed, we snuggle until he falls asleep. Most nights it takes 5 minutes, but sometimes it takes a while. He started sleeping through the night around 2 years old, which is actually normal. My son woke up quite a bit during the night, but it’s actually normal and it’s developmentally appropriate. And most of the time, it was just because he wanted to be close to me, and I pushed myself to be there for him. My way was so, so hard, but my son and I have an amazing bond now. My advice- do what feels most instinctual

My baby is 5 months and we started crib training at around 3 months. We established a routine (change diaper, owl let sock ( if you have one), long sleeve onesie, and a sleep sack. Then I feed him his last bottle for the night. At first I would also stick to a time but to be honest it’s hard to establish a time if they sleep a lot during the day so I go base of how long he was up last sometimes he will sleep at 9pm or at 10:30pm. The routine doesn’t change though. I rock him to sleep every time cause I don’t let him cry it out. Now if he is just babbling and making noise I let him be in his crib but that’s about it. He usually sleep for the whole night. I was lucky that he sticks to it but it takes time and constantly sticking to the routine because my baby kinda knows when it’s time for bed when I do those steps. At the end of the day do what is best for your baby and you don’t have to let them cry it out.

I didn't really have to sleep train but I think having a routine was a massive part of that. Once we had day naps in the cot sorted the night sleep came much easier! Routine and making sure baby is drinking all their calories in the day so they don't need to wake up to feed as often in the night! Remember they are just little babies, they need all the cuddles and comfort at this age! We have a penguin from nuby that plays a heartbeat sound and has red light. I put that on just to give my son some comfort when he's in his cot x

Sleep training doesn't work. There are studies that show that babies that were sleep trained wake just as much as those that don't and many families end up repeating the sleep training or giving up later.
It's perfectly normal for your baby to need you in the night for the first few years! You can keep a consistent routine and make the sleep space as positive as you can (look up sleep hygiene) but ultimately, responding to your baby when they need you, teaches them that you are dependable and they will then sleep when they are ready and feel safe.
I recommend looking up Lyndsey hookway on Instagram, she has some really helpful information. I also follow foxandthemoon for sleep tips.

I sleep trained around 9 mos so your babe might be a little too young. I would wait until at least four months and try again. I found that doing the graduated extinction Ferber method worked best for my son. He was more upset when I sat with him and took longer to settle when I stayed in the room. I loved graduated extinction because it’s more gentle than full on cry it out. You can still go in and comfort after the “extinction” time so they know you are there for them but it encourages them to learn new ways to self soothe on there own. There’s so much controversy around sleep training, but in my opinion it is just as important as potty training or teaching a child to read. Children need to learn how to self soothe so that they can get the rest that they need and develop a healthy sleep schedule.