Custody

I’m in the process of filing for custody with my baby’s father and I’m at a loss . I keep holding out hope he will be the partner I need and quit drinking and be nice to me but seem to be escalating in a bad way. He has now been raising his voice at our son and now our son is having night terrors . From his dad not seeing him it is starting to get a little better but am I selfish for wanting to stick it out ? I do love him and I want to keep our family together but then again it seems like there’s a disconnect. I feel lost . He wasn’t there for me when I was pregnant and not so much when our son was born but I see he’s trying but then will go back to old ways in a day or so. I’m so heartbroken and I’m trying not to contact him and process this as our breakup as he breaks up with me so many times I never know what our status is.

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I know it hurts, it's absolutely awful to continuously not know where you stand, but it sounds like you're doing the best thing you can for you and little one by going through the custody system. Stability is so important, and if you can't 100% know that your partner will be there for your son when he needs him, or when you need him, it might be time to let go.

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I think you’re doing what’s best for you and for little man. As tough as it is, you have to look out for you and your son’s best interests. If the father truly wants to do better, maybe once the custody is all said and done he will get his act together and show you some effort and consistency. I would try to maintain space until you see some long term improvements at the very least.

Hang in there mama!

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I’m terrified that he will never forgive me for taking him to court.

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