Depleted Mom syndrome

Hello Moms... Has anyone ever experienced DMS? How'd you go through it and learn to cope? Did you see a therapist? I have two kids, a 3 year old toddler and 9 months. I feel lately I've been blowing a fuse and at my wits end and tending to snap. I've also been overwhelmed and emotional about everything. I work full-time at home and dealing with the kids while working has been making me feel mentally exhausted and my husband works on-site and it gets even harder that he doesn't put a lot more effort than I'd like him to be. I'm not saying he doesn't do anything it's just sometimes I wish he'd contribute more or at least support me. I'm not trying to nag, but I'm just so burnt out. What is best to do in this situation? I'm really at a loss and I'm drowning and just trying to survive. Any advice? Thank you 🙏🏻

in our community

Family culture difference on money

Sorry this is long, I hope some of you get to the end and give advice!!!

So I’m a very thrifty person, things are tight at the moment, the cost of living crisis and my house is heated by oil so things are extortionate. We aren’t on the bread line but we aren’t flush, hubby might be made redundant so there is some financial pressure.

Sometimes I buy my sons something nicer, on the justification that I can sell it on after (♥️ vinted ♥️). I have also been planning on pretty much breaking even most of the baby things I bought from face book market place, side by crib, baby changing unit, etc.

Hubby and I have different money cultures with our families (he’s Indian, I’m British). I’m my family we don’t mix money, we would help each other out if someone was in trouble and will get each other gifts on special occasions. With hubby’s family money is much more fluid, they will give each other things worth thousands of £ just because.

Hubby’s brother bought him a new laptop and a new Google phone, he’s been very generous to hubby. Hubby hasn’t given the same back because brother is much richer.

Hubby and I mostly share finances. If it’s relevant I’m the higher earner.

Now to the point! My babies are so cute they’ve given hubby’s brother (currently single) baby rabies. He’s asked for our baby stuff when we’re done with it. He’s been so generous to hubby I feel really stingy saying no. But I’d never have bought some of the stuff if I wasn’t going to get a return on it - the thought makes me a bit anxious. If we gave all our baby stuff given the second hand value it still wouldn’t equal what the brother had given hubby.

I thought maybe I could give him some stuff but sell some stuff, but hubby said then his brother will just have to go out and buy that stuff, so I should name my price and ask his brother for the money. That makes me feel very uncomfortable, given how generous the brother has been to hubby.

So what do I do ladies? Give it all and suck it up? Give part of it and sell parts on Vinted/FB, or ask hubbys brother for money for it and be uncomfortable? Or do you see another solution?

No one is being entitled or rude here, just a culture difference I need to navigate.

Looking for more same age friends!!

Hi! I’m 23 and a stay at home (soon to be) mom. I have been having a tough time finding friends/women in similar circumstances to mine and would love to make some if possible! If you feel the same, let me know

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