Husband wants week-long bro trip before birth

What week is he planning on going? Id definitely tell him not to if he’s plans to go around the 36 week and up mark.

My husband thought about doing a bros trip too, it didn’t happen but I could imagine that it’s what I would’ve wanted to do too. I think as you get closer to your due date you’d start thinking in such a way that wouldn’t mind if he went.

if he gets paid paternal leave I would be ok with him going with the full expectation of him being there for you and baby during paternal leave.

It also depends how much time off he gets - i think if he has at least 5 or 6 days off after everything there isnt an issue but if it takes him down to 1 day I would also push for the long weekend.

Why do you feel you are not okay with this week long trip? Because he hadn’t planned anything with you? Would you be okay with this trip if you weren’t pregnant?

I don’t see anything wrong with him going on this trip so long as everything is fine with you and baby medically. I definitely preferred having my partner around while I was pregnant to help with EVERYTHING lol, but I wouldn’t have stopped him from doing anything like this. He went away for a few weeks for work (which is different than your situation) when I was 6 months pregnant and that was hard because I didn’t have the help. He will probably come back grateful and more helpful than ever.

And maybe you can take this as an opportunity to suggest a baby-moon for you guys!

I would in exchange for a week trip with the girls post birth in the first year :) I’d also bring up a babymoon. You are going to want both :)

after visiting family at Christmas, he currently only has a couple days earned. By mid-summer, he’ll accrue maybe a total of 8-10 days. So blowing half of it on a bro trip, likely needing to take sporadic days for moving and other miscellaneous stuff before birth, and maybe taking a couple days for the two of us uses it all up. Let’s just hope the baby doesn’t come with complications that would require using time off then.

I honestly wouldn’t mind if my husband wanted to do that, friend time is important too and it’s probably not as likely to happen once baby comes. I’m sure you’d miss him like crazy but maybe use it as an opportunity to visit with your own family and friends, or have self care time before baby comes?

He’d have to be careful with the timing though, my husband planned to do a trip with his friends 3 weeks before our baby was due and thank god it got canceled last minute because I ended up giving birth 3 weeks early and he would’ve missed the birth if he had been gone!

I don’t think he has really thought through the vacation time side of it. With a week off for his friend, that doesn’t leave much for anything for the two of us, or the planned/unplanned things that will require a day or two off randomly throughout the year. And yeah, it kind of stings that he brought up doing something with his friend before doing something with me. I wouldn’t mind it nearly as much if I wasn’t pregnant, but there are likely going to be unexpected things that come up and require the time off.

I don’t have friends to do a girls trip with. That probably doesn’t help in feeling shafted.

I’ll go with you 🤣 also consider a solo trip, sounds weird, but some of the best trips I’ve been on have been solo. Sometimes alll a gal needs is a hot tub and room service 🍾

I would say let him do it - it’s only a week but he is right … once baby is here it’s unlikely he’ll be able to do this again for a while. As long as it’s not close to your birth and he can get back if needed let him go enjoy himself. But you should book a treat for you too xx

Maybe suggest going on a trip with him before they go on their guys trip? If has just a weeks worth of vacation days. Maybe he could half of it with you and the other half with the guys.
Have you brought up the fact that you’d want to do something with him?
I may be biased because it wasn’t until after vacation with my husband that I felt ok with him going on a guys trip.
So maybe that’s exactly what you need incase you guys haven’t done that already!

It all depends on if you trust him 100%. Personally I would definitely feel some way bc I would want to spend that time with him before the baby gets here bc when the baby gets here it’ll no longer be just you two forever. Literally. Two weeks is too long, and if he does want too he should want to spend one week with his friends one week with you. But honestly like I said for me it would be trusting him. If you trust him then I would go for whatever you feel. But you should also get some date nights for you too as well.

agree with the solo trip! My partner went away to a bachelor party weekend and I went solo camping 6 months pregnant. (No hot tub, but still relaxing)

I hear you! I would try talking to him about how you’re feeling because men really don’t think the way women think.

I completely agree with you. But also I could be excessively hormonal (34 weeks here). However, your feelings are still valid.
For me - before the baby gets here it’s mine and my husband’s time of getting prepared, enjoying each other and making the most of the quiet. We’ve had our trip away. Anything my husband or I have done/will do with friends/family, we prioritised us first. I feel like you also have that same expectation - so talk to him about that.
Also, the world doesn’t stop when you have a child. You can still live your lives and do what you want to do when baby comes. Yes it takes a bit more planning but baby is an addition to your lives and shouldn’t hinder what you/hubby want to do.
You clearly want to have your time and your ducks in order with your husband. That is perfectly reasonable! You want to prioritise some couples time before baby before hearing about any other trips. Perfectly reasonable. Marriage is about compromise and your feelings are valid.

I would find this hard especially if he has limited vacation days! Doing something as a couple would be a bigger priority for me and he could just do a long weekend like you say? Priorities should change at this point in my opinion x

My oh used his annual leave for the two weeks after baby was born as it was more than paternity leave.
Where’s he planning on going?

Personally I don’t understand this ‘once baby arrives he won’t be able to do this anymore’ 🤯 he chose to have a baby as well and life doesn’t just stop when you have a baby if anything it gets better and you do more things as a family. I completely understand why you aren’t behind the whole ‘lads trip’ for a week. Why can’t he just go for a weekend?
I get he needs time with his mates but at the same time you need his support.
I don’t know how many weeks pregnant you are but I’d be saying definitely not after 34 weeks just in case.
Like I’ve said, life doesn’t stop after having a baby.

Let him go. It’s not worth the built up resentment. Is there something you want? Trade this for that

I get both your points, it is true that after the baby arrives he won't likely be able to do this for a few years. It very much depends on his workplace policy about parenthood. My husband is self employed so he travelled for a bit before I gave birth. My mum was staying with us so I wasn't worried if I started labour while he was away (maybe you can consider someone close being with you while he's away🤷🏻‍♀️)

On the other hand, are you upset you're not doing anything together before baby arrives? If that's your concern I would tell him

I agree with you. I hate how men exaggerate that they can’t do things because of a baby. “This is the last chance” no it’s not. A baby doesn’t mean your life is over. You can take the trip next year. Baby will be one….my thing is why didn’t you take the trip before I was even pregnant, why is it such a big deal now. He can wait. I’m the one that’s pregnant what about what I wanted to do…..that’s selfish.