wtf moment?

I have been going back and forth with my husband lately. Well not lately it’s been years. He is the best husband and father you could ask for; for two weeks. Then he’s inconsistent. It drives me mad. Then he’s back to husband and dad of the year , then back to same inconsistency. I talked to him about this last night and he said “if i was lovey dovey and acted like this all the time you’d get bored and cheat on me.”

Ok so for starters i know some of you are going to say omg omg omg super controlling omg leave omg. No im not doing that. Im happy he finally admitted his wrong doing and taking accountability for it but id like to know the deeper reason, the what the f has him thinking like this reason, the personality trait reason. He’s obviously scared I’m going to leave him; so much so that he’s doing this dumb shit to prevent it. Past trauma? What do y’all think I can do to get him to see I’m not going anywhere? I’m consistent already, I married him, we have a baby. He really is the love of my life. I have never loved another man like this before.. but this shit is for the birds and he thinks he’s keeping me doing this but in actuality it’s making me lose respect and detach.

in our community

AITA

I need an outside view as I don’t have anyone to speak to.

We (husband and myself) lost our cat a month ago due to a clot he was 5. And we lost our other due to cancer in February

At the start of the year we had two cats and two dogs. The dogs had always been my husband. Not as in responsibility just that they’d be all over him when he was home. That’s great it suited me as I have 3 children to care for also. The cats were more me. Again not responsibility just they’d come to me to settle down with for kisses or fuss. We took turns feeding whoever was about at the time of needing.

Anyway. It’s been a month I now have no cats I’d been grieving and finally plucked up the courage to say I think I want one. Explained how the dogs were more him and now I have nothing. He so I thought got it and said he’d support me in whatever I wanted to do. I explained I didn’t want to force a new cat on him if he wasn’t ready. I got it i understood. He said if it was what I wanted he’d stand by that. I’ve mulled it over a few days kept asking his opinion I honestly didn’t want this to become a thing to upset anyone. Same response.

This morning I found a couple of kittens near by, went and visited and narrowed it down to two. I knew the girl by off chance and said I would let her know by the end of the day. I went home showed my husband he said I needed to choose which one and he went off to the shop to buy what we needed for her.

This bit matters. I went to visit at 12. WE decided at 1.30 he went shop at this time I fetched her at 2.30. At 3.30 he said she still needed somethings so went back to another few shops. Brought her a new bed bowls ect. While he was gone my son told me that my husband had been in the phone to his parents saying I emotional guilt tripped him into having a cat. He wasn’t ready for. And that I don’t give the dogs enough attention which isn’t fair.

Now I feel like shit and I’m struggling to attach myself to this kitten I can’t even name her because I feel I’ve done something wrong. I get up every morning and feed water the dogs and let them out and clean up after them everyday and I book appointments and give them medication the only thing I don’t do is bath them. I can’t speak to my husband about it because he will then take it out on my son because he told me everything and I don’t want that.

Was I wrong for bringing in this kitten??

AITA ??

I have 2 under 2. One being a newborn.

My friend came over to visit and brought her 6 year old. Her child is veryyy tall and looks about 10. She has a lot of energy & just doesnt stop.

Anyway, my 2 year old is being assessed for autism. She does not like physical touch, people in her personal space or loud noises. My friend knows this.

Anyway, her child has come in SHOUTING and playing music on her phone. She was throwing my childs toys around & then got on to her trampoline. Bare in mind, shes 2 so its a little trampoline. She started bouncing and I asked her if she could please come off it as it was for small children. She shouted, laughed and carried on. My 2 year old wanted to be picked up as she was overstimulated. I asked my friend if she could turn the volume down on her daughters phone and it was too loud and my toddler was VISIBLY upset and covering her ears. I also had a sleeping newborn next to me. She asked her daughter and she refused and that was it.

She then started shouting my childs name and was putting her phone in her face. I asked her not to do that and give her some space.

She then took my toddlers snack and started eating in. My child has safe foods so got very upset as she was eating it.

I looked at my friend and she laughed saying "gosh she doesnt listen." To which I said "can you please tell her to stop it shes upsetting my child" and she laughed saying "honestly she doesnt listen."

This went on for over an hour & my child was besides herself. Shes non verbal but I understand her cues. I tried to take her upstairs for a nap & asked my friends child if she could be a bit quieter as my baby was sleeping & my toddler was going to bed. I hugged my toddler to console her and she laid down for a nap. 5 minutes later, my friend said "i'm going to the toilet" and took her child with her. I told her not to flush the toilet as it would wake my toddler. Heard them both upstairs cackling, then saw on the camera - her daughter go into my childs bedroom and stroke her face whilst she was asleep. She then started getting all her books out and throwing them around. My friend came downstairs and said "shes just chilling upstairs for abit."

My head WENT & I said "shes not fucking chilling she's gonna wake my toddler up" and she did. My toddler was scared as she woke up to banging and a fucking 6 year old trying to climb into her cot. I went upstairs and told her to please get out. She then started shouting my daughters name - who at this point was absolutely besides herself upset.

I went downstairs and said to my friend "shes woke my child up and im now going to have to deal with an overtired and upset child." She laughed and said "its kids being kids." I then said I was expecting another visitor and she had to leave.

I am so annoyed that she doesnt even TRY control her child. She has damaged books & a trampoline and she just watched her do it. Said nothing. I dont like to tell other peoples kids what to do but I'm livid. She then went and tried to pick my newborn up so I said "no put her down." Too late, she woke her up. She had barely napped so was upset she had been disturbed. My friend said "she just wanted to hold her" so I said "I dont care, i feel disrespected in my own house." And then she left. She then text me saying "was so nice to see you today."

I'm DONE with her.

Opinions please

So my sister, 19 month old and partner were in the front room watching TV. I was in the kitchen so was unaware of what was going on. My sister told me that my partner was trying to get my son's attention just for the sake of it, asking what he's watching and then calling his name to which my son didn't respond. Apparently my partner then said 'I should fly kick you' to my son in a jokey way. Now reading this, you may be thinking what the actual he'll, just as I am! But my partner is just stupid and doesnt even try to filter his words at times and to be honest, for many other reasons I'm thinking about leaving him.

Eventhough he didn't mean this seriously I just think its such an insane thing to say to any child let alone your own!

I havent even questionedhim about it since as he's not really been home since, but I know that if I do ask him about it he'll admit It but not realise the severity of it and probably say/act like I'm being extra

Thoughts and opinions please!

Have you ever had to punch a pillow or throw something out of frustration from your children (but not in their presence)

I mean like taken yourself away to another room to get your anger and frustration out because of them?

Rant

I have no friends atm so just wanted to say this on here so I can get it off my chest. Our baby is 11 weeks and since he was born via emergency c section I have only attended appointments, immediate family houses and the occasional grocery shop trip where I pretty much wear joggers/trousers and a top with my hair in a messy bun. We had plans to see my husband’s friends and I wanted to get ready a little, straighten my hair and put a little makeup on. My husband asked why I needed to get ready as it was going to rain anyway and my hair would get ruined, and that I was taking too long and we needed to leave, not that he told me what time were leaving. I also have a baby to get ready. I got upset and said that I just wanted to get ready a little so I could feel somewhat normal and I got emotional as postpartum hasn’t been the easiest.

He then proceeded to yell at me asking me why i’m always crying, I said I just wanted to feel a little good about myself. Not sure why but he’s been really difficult with me since the baby was born, initially he helped with the night feeds but not for weeks now as i’m exclusively BF sp he gets to sleep well all night so I don’t think its because he’s agitated.

It really bothers me that men don’t know enough about postpartum and what we go through, the hormones and emotions that come with it. Am I overthinking it or am I in my right to get upset about this?

Food

Sorry for the stupid question i am ftm so new to all this. I am just after some advice my 7 month old daughter is not eating 7+ months food properly cos its not mashed up she is eating alittle then just stops. I do give her something else instead but I was just wondering do I persevere with it or just give her the 6+ food and wait til she is ready?