wtf moment?
I have been going back and forth with my husband lately. Well not lately it’s been years. He is the best husband and father you could ask for; for two weeks. Then he’s inconsistent. It drives me mad. Then he’s back to husband and dad of the year , then back to same inconsistency. I talked to him about this last night and he said “if i was lovey dovey and acted like this all the time you’d get bored and cheat on me.”
Ok so for starters i know some of you are going to say omg omg omg super controlling omg leave omg. No im not doing that. Im happy he finally admitted his wrong doing and taking accountability for it but id like to know the deeper reason, the what the f has him thinking like this reason, the personality trait reason. He’s obviously scared I’m going to leave him; so much so that he’s doing this dumb shit to prevent it. Past trauma? What do y’all think I can do to get him to see I’m not going anywhere? I’m consistent already, I married him, we have a baby. He really is the love of my life. I have never loved another man like this before.. but this shit is for the birds and he thinks he’s keeping me doing this but in actuality it’s making me lose respect and detach.
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Couples therapy/ counselling?
When he’s being problematic what exactly is he doing? Picking fights over small stuff? Being distant? “Joking” in bad taste?
It could be a number of things. Possibly past trauma (has he ever been cheated on?) but also a lot of people learn these kinds of ideas about relationships when they’re teenagers (or in their early 20s) from their friend groups and assume it to be “true.” The whole thing about “keeping someone on their toes” is something I’ve heard before in pop culture. He could have heard it from a friend, and subscribed to the idea without really questioning it lol
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