Baby won’t sleep in her cot!

My little girl is such a contact napper! She’ll only sleep when on me or a close couple of family members, in the pram or in the car (she’s always been like this).

She really hates the cot, and cries after being in there for 5/10 minutes at night. I’ve tried leaving her for a few minutes, but I’m not wanting to let her get too distressed, or do the cry it out method. I put her in her cot in the day time, so she knows that it’s a safe space, and she’s so happy to be in there…but nighttime is a different story!

I’ve tried swaddling, sleeping bags, white noise, breast pads in the cot so it smells of me, hot water bottle to warm the area up, a wedge (recommended by the health visitor as she had reflux as a newborn, which has calmed down considerably now). She has always hated laying flat, and barely used her bassinet attachment on the pram, or the Moses basket, as she was really sick whenever she wasn’t at an angle.

I really feel trapped now, as she’s sleeping on me all night. I get some sleep in the evening whilst her Dad has her, and then again in the daytime when my parents are around to support us, but it’s really getting to me now 😔 I keep seeing Tik Tok’s of babies with perfect routines…and I just want mine to sleep in the cot, I don’t care about her waking up in the night 😂

Any help is really appreciated 🤍

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I think Motherhood has made me more bitter than I realized…

This is such a ramble but I don’t know where else to put it all.

I’m four months in and I don’t really have hobbies right now. I don’t do anything for myself except maybe doomscrolling or listening to a podcast while I breastfeed my baby. I used to craft and have game nights with friends. Activities that usually are at least 2 hour stretches. Now if I have an hour free my mind immediately goes to baby, or doing something in the house for baby.

And I thought I didn’t mind. Like I knew postpartum could be very mentally consuming. But I think it’s altering how I view people around me and it’s prodding at my relationship with my husband.

He spends most of his time making food for us, looking after our dogs, playing with the baby, ect. But he still has time for his hobby. Spends maybe an hour a night on it. Even adapted to using a bot for shopping for his hobby after a certain incident where we had to have a heart to heart after he left me home alone with the baby for hours during a busy workday (I work from home) to shop for his hobby.

And yet there’s like this little green eyed monster in me that rages every time I know he’s running off to start up the bot. Even though I’m the reason he does it this way.

We took a family trip last weekend to see his best friend and their kids and let them meet the baby. He brought the laptop. He’s always brought a laptop on trips and it’s never been a problem to me before. But one night we both woke up while the baby was still asleep, and he wandered out of the room. I tried to fall back asleep but couldn’t. So I went to the kitchen to try having something warm to drink to settle me. And he was there at the table running the bot from his laptop. I flipped out at him. But there really wasn’t reason to. It’s not like I needed help with the baby and he was ignoring me. He wasn’t avoiding our friends. He was just awake and unable to sleep and found something to do with his time. Yet my snap reaction was “why the hell would you do this on a family trip?”

I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the less complete sleep from baby’s middle of the night feed? My brain being just consumed by baby? Maybe I’m not as over that shopping incident as I thought? But I’m just so annoyed at his hobby right now. The green eyed monster thinks “you could be using that time differently” but realistically to do what exactly??? Stare at our baby in the dark???

I spent probably an hour apologizing to him after I snapped. And he’s of course hurt and frustrated because I said some very mean things in the moment.

I don’t want to be this jealous, angry person. But I also don’t know how to find time for myself in this right now outside of basic hygiene. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to be myself, even if just for an hour.

Maybe I need a therapist.

Baby won’t sleep in her cot!

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