MIL during pushing

Have you explained that having your mom there would make you comfortable and how being comfortable could help you progress through labor, i mean the fact that she already had kids and she is YOUR mom is a plus too. I would NEVER have my MIL in the room, do what’s best for you and what will make your delivery as smooth as possible.

yes i was just explaining that to him and my step child bc she asked who would be in the room. When i stated who i want and why they both got defensive over why my mil won’t be in the room. She was in the room for my step daughter.

I feel like this is the explanation that makes the most sense to me (see the tiktok videos). Essentially, "when everyone else was there to see/hold the baby, my mom was there for me (to hold her baby)."

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZM63bFtTu/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZM63b6tjJ/

The difference between his mom and your mom is that your mom has been there to comfort you during hard times for your whole life. And yes, his mom did the same for him. But she never did that for you and YOU are the one giving birth.

I think asking him if he’s willing to have his prostate checked completely naked infront of your mom and then saying once he does that then his mom can come watch is one of the favorite responses I’ve ever seen. But for real though, you’re the patient, not him. It is 100% your choice who you have in that room. Your mom is there for you, YOU have known her your whole life and that’s who you’re comfortable w/ seeing you naked and vulnerable. That’s nice that she was in the room for her previous grandchild but you’re not that person and your choices are allowed to be different than his previous partners because it’s YOUR birthing experience.

It’s not his choice. He isn’t giving birth you are. Have who YOU want, should only be people that support you and give you strength. Maybe just you mom 🤷‍♀️

It’s whatever decision YOU want. That being said, does he have a valid concern about your mom taking over? Make sure you have an open and honest conversation with him where you can both be vulnerable. Make sure he feels reassured that even though your mom will be there, that he will still be your biggest supporter in the room. It’s a huge day for him too, and let’s make it as happy of a day as possible. Yes, still have your mom come but also don’t dismiss his feelings.

Maybe tell him that if he so badly wants his mummy in the room he should be the one to go through the pain and agony of Labour. Remind him that Labour is about YOU and YOURS NEEDS and if he’s got a problem with it then to suck it up. You make the birth plan for YOU because you’re the one bringing a human into this world so you decide who you do and don’t have in the room. There’s absolutely no reason for his mum to be there especially when she’s just a stress for you xx

Sorry but…. You came out of your mom’s vagina, not his mom’s. I would NEVER allow my partners mother to be in the room. My own mom? FUCK YES. She birthed me, she’s seen my vagina and guided me through life. It’s honestly fucking weird that he wants his mom in the room, it’s not about him WHATSOEVER does he not understand that? Tell him your mom will be in the room and his won’t and that’s the end of the story. Then contact your OBGYN and delivery team and specifically tell the hospital that she is not to be in the room per YOUR request. They legally have to abide by whatever the mother wants to do. Your man needs a wake up call or a smack in the face because wtf? 🤣

And her being in the room for her step daughter’s birth has nothing to do with your birth or experience. She can stay outside 😂
PLEASE do what YOU want. You will regret it later down the road if your birth doesn’t go how you want it to. It’s a huge, life changing experience but it’s YOUR experience. Not your partners and most definitely not his moms. Let her get mad about it and let him get mad about it. This ain’t about them, it’s about you mama and whatever makes you feel the best ❤️❤️

Not his pussy being exposed, not him lying legs wide open while pushing a baby out, he can have an opinion but the decision is not his, period

This feels straight out of r/relationship advice or r/aita on Reddit. 😒

Your husband needs to understand that labour isn’t about him, it’s about you and you need to come out the other side. And if it’s your mother that you need, then that’s what you get, he doesn’t get a say in it. My husband and I have had many concussions about the delivery and he said he is happy to give his opinion if I want it but that at the end of the day I make my own choice as I am the one pushing the baby out.

I am against ultimatums and threats as I find they make situations like this worse but your husband needs to be reminded he can easily be uninvited from the birth if his child, that he is not entitled to be there and if you say so the hospital will not let him in.

I hope you find a solution and will make him understand why you’ve made this decision but he sounds very selfish and self-centred.

you will regret not listening to your intuition

My boyfriend was the same way! But your the one PUSHING this baby out. I had my boyfriend and sister in the room. Have whoever YOU want. It’s already overwhelming having a baby especially if this is your first baby. They will get over it tbh

We were running but the same issue. It ended up having to be just the two of us due to both of us having Covid. And tbh it was better with just the two of us. All I needed was my husband ❤️ it just seemed way more intimate for our daughter to be welcomed by her parents.
That being said, had it been different, maybe I would’ve wanted my mom. I wish she had been able to come at least spend some time with me.

I’m grossed out at the thought of him to even think it’s ok for him to be adamant about it… tf? 🙄

He needs a kick in the ass!

Stay your ground ! … I relate so much with your question because I had the same issue … we ended up face timing my mother n law and it was just to much .. she ended up including my brother n law and his family on the FaceTime call (which I didn’t approve of ) I’m still kinda pissed at that …

Overall I’m a firm believer that giving birth is so special and the people you want to share that with … should be YOUR CHOICE

Oh heck no, I wouldn't want my MIL in the room either while I'm giving birth. She's also very opinionated and likes to take control of everything . It's either her way or nothing else. I'm 2 months prego now, and I keep telling my husband that I do not want his mom to be in the room when I'll give birth. He knows how his mom is, so he understood and agreed to it. I'd rather have my mom in the room because I'm more comfortable with her, and she understands me, Obviously because she's my mom lol, but yeah having my MIL in the same room while giving birth will just stress me out even more😫