your soon to be brother in law (upon inquiry) told you that only a few kids from the family were attending his wedding because they are over the age cut off..
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I feel like if it’s a kid free wedding it should state it on the invite / website if they have one? Me personally, if myself & my partner are both invited to a wedding & it’s kid free, I wouldn’t be attending, if it’s just me (say one of my friends who he doesn’t know like that or w.e) & it’s kid free then that’s fine she can stay with her dad - but it annoys me if I have to ask, like I think it’s something that should be stated especially if you know people you’ve invited have kids because idk about anyone else but I automatically assume my child is invited too (unless told otherwise ofc)?!

Also just to add, I find it a bit funny when people have a kid free wedding & then when you want to do something & decide it’s kid free & they now have a kid or baby it’s an issue… like I understand WHY people have kid free weddings, but then at the same time I don’t??? (SURELY, if a kid is being disruptive during the ceremony then the parent(s) have the common sense to take them out?)

It wouldn’t bother me.
I do think you shouldn’t have to inquire about it though, they should make that known well in advance.