Is this clever or cruel?

I LOVE this idea. Too many children have cellphones and social media. It’s insane!! Let kids be KIDS!
I have a 9 year old son and a 12 yr old nephew and neither of them have a phone. They do not have unsupervised internet usage either.

As far as the flip phone, I can see how those could be made fun of, but they do have smart phones that have super great parental controls. The bark phone is supposed to be really good. That’s what we plan on getting the kids when they’re around 13 or 14.

I think its better to teach him about it than to gatekeep and basically turn it into "forbidden fruit." I think it would be better to use parental controls and such

Yup we will be doing something along those lines for our kids too! I think our parents’ generation didn’t have any idea how addictive phones would become, and so none of us were warned and taught how to practice self-control around phones and are consequently all fighting phone addiction as adults. I hope to raise my children with a little more awareness as they get older, but first to raise them in an environment with very limited technology so that they know what enjoying living in the present feels like.

We gave my asd son a basic brick to begin with an he never used it until we got him a smart phone! He needed something for school transport as he was disruptive. Problem we had he could use the internet at school anyway and was looking up vore until school found a way to restrict it.
Also it’s useful to have the internet in terms of maps and bus routes, cinema showings ect.

Always have a list of what ifs and consequences that can be stuck to. The computer thing- eh. It’s a great idea but I hope you plan to never sleep. Lol I remember going out on the computer when my parents went to bed. If he gets caught what would you do? Punish him from the computer? You’ll still get no sleep unless you take it completely away, and even then if there’s a will there’s a way. I just logged in to my MySpace (omg I’m old) from school and friend’s houses.
Flip phone - he will 100% get bullied. Kids can be cruel.

You can monitor till you’re blue in the face in your home, but unless you keep him confined to your home remember his friends will more than likely have all these things. Free WiFi everywhere, libraries etc. I think it would be better to put parental controls. I would LOVE to go back to the 90s. It was so much simpler then. But unfortunately that’s not the way the world is anymore. Instead of making things forbidden we have to learn how to work with it imo.

I am a fan of this. If more parents did it turn it would become the norm and there'd be no peer pressure for kids to have smart phones.

Homeshcool, kids won't bully. You can meet other homeschool families in your area, and they will have plenty of time for numerous activities. I plan on also doing a house phone and community computer. When my son is old enough to go out with his friends, then we will discuss a phone based on his behavior and what I think he will handle. Me and my sister didnt have a phone FOREVER! my mom was poor and couldn't afford one. We did use our friends' phones, but that's fine. Do whatever you feel is best for your family. Things can always change along the way.

I dont see it as cruel. Youre giving him access to a computer, just not a personal computer that he can access at anytime behind closed doors. I think that's great.

A flip phone is great. If he needs the internet he can use it when he gets home. Otherwise he can use his phone to make calls and to text, 🤷🏾‍♀️. He will have access to call/text you if there's an emergency or change of plans. Its not like hes going out into the world without access to dial if he needs help.

It’s such a good idea!! I also know that they have strict parental controls on some smart phones now! My niece (9) got one because she’s from a split home where my brother has primary custody (for several reasons) so he was scared of something happening when she does get time at her moms so they got her a smart phone to be able to keep in contact when needed. It’s got lots of parental controls and they even have a lock to where she can’t add or delete numbers without a code

I'm sorry but your brother can take his opinion and shove it. This is exactly how my husband and I are going to raise our daughters except they will not be allowed to have a smartphone until they graduate high school.

Did that with my daughter. Got her first smart phone at 17. She's fine and her friends got on the dumb phone trend way after she explained she preferred it and they used to give get a hard time about it -_- no regrets. Will do with next two kids.

The internet really IS that bad. I think this is a great idea and many more parents nowadays will be doing the same or similar things, I know I will be! 💗

I don’t think it’s cruel. My kids are too young to decide these things but ultimately I’m very torn on what I’ll do it the future. I think technology can be a good thing and kids these days have a lot of their social interaction online. There are not a lot of 3rd places for teens and so they go online. Not saying it’s good. But it is just the truth. So I struggle with thinking my kid will be left out of social things.

From a personal standpoint, I had really no rules growing up. And so I told my mom pretty much everything and was able to get an adult view point on a lot of things.

My bff was not allowed to have social media. So all of hers was hidden. She was groomed by several old men and had some other things going on. I could openly talk to my mom about it and i think that was helpful with navigating some things.

I think the computer in the living room is a great idea. I do think the flip phone will open him up to being bullied or exclude him possibly. They do have parental apps that you can install in his phone when the time comes that limits what he is able to do and search.

Also, you can have a rule where at night the phone has to be downstairs charging on the kitchen counter and he’s not allowed to have it in his room after a certain hour.

I forgot to add a but in addition to what I said they will not be allowed to have even their flip phones on them whenever they are home or with us. We will get a landline phone so if they want to talk to their friends they can call them the old-fashioned way.

Nah this is exactly my plan for my kids. Only thing is the school will GIVE kids laptops but they’ll know their activity is tracked

Its a clever idea & I support your decision! I have no intention on allowing my children to have phones that have the internet. I think that a communal computer in the living room is a good idea.

There's nothing cruel about this, its sensible & helping to keep your child safe. Only thing is to ensure that there is a line of open communication with your son as he grows.

Just we cannot protect our child(ren) when they are not with us, so if they are exposed to anything outside of the home that they are able to tell us about it.

It's a fine idea, not cruel at all to try and protect him. BUT that being said, what age are we talking here? Because kids, teens specifically will always find a way. When he's older if he wants a smart phone, he'll get one some way some how and he'll hide it from yall if he has to. I always tell people who are having kids never forget what it was like to be a teenager😭😭

You do what works for you! If it’s having a shared computer do it, if it’s giving a flip phone do it. I got my first phone at 12 and it was incoming calls only, no data or anything. I might do something similar with my son as well. If we wants social media he can access it on my phone (that way I can monitor what there is). And he’ll be using my laptop until much later anyway. Unfortunately social media and the internet can corrupt kids too quickly so I’d definitely be mindful of that too! What you’re thinking isn’t extreme, you’re being a good parent 💕

One extra thing that my friend did that you might consider, she got together with the mums of all of the other boys in her son’s friendship group and they agreed common rules for phones etc which made us a lot easier to control your child have access to and to avoid the peer pressure of one being ostracised for not having the same as the others. Not always possible depending on your situation but a great idea if you can pull it off.

I think the old school phone is a great idea, calls and texts are all that is needed! They don't need to be "in" their phones all day.

We do have a computer in the hallway that anyone uses and my boy uses for educational games. Next year he’ll be 7 and I’m getting him a smart watch it allows me to track him (coz he’s at the age where he sleeps over at my sisters, he’s got cousins there to play with) and I can call him and he can call me (and anyone else I put on his contacts, his Aunties etc) without having an actual phone. I have a smart watch myself linked to my phone so my thought immediately went to getting one for my son when it was time.

Don't sweat it too much. Some Gen Alpha kids are already starting up that trend anyway. They literally don't want to be known as "the brain rot kids", so they understand that yeah you need a cell so that there's a connection to your parents and peers, but they're actually looking to get flip phones instead of smartphones! So, not cruel at all.

We’re doing 90s approach as well! 👏🏼

I think it's a great idea but should be combined with education how to stay safe online.
I don't know your child but I can understand that some children would start to find ways to STILL go online (friends houses, friends phones) and they may feel that are *finally free* to do what they want and then start finding all sorts of dangerous crap online, which they won't tell you about.

I think it's a really tricky thing to navigate

We play story cds in car, no ipad, no toys in car, we play I spy. He's 3.5

I thunk it's hard because if something is 'banned, it's appealing. So yeh they'll see other kids phones.

But, i actually think saying they'll be bullied for not having things is not a good enough argument. We must teach our children to be more resilient than thinking it's okay to be bullied for not owning something.

Kids will always want to follow the crowd- as parents should we always follow blindly ?

You are the parent . If they get a phone, enforce time limits. Explain the limits

I'm not a parent to an older child - i see through friends how hard it is to navigate nowadays - but I teach y6 and those without phones and whatsapp cant get involved in the drama that kids cant cope with and were happily oblivious and less anxious. Still had friends and wrent bullied.

There was A LOT of bullying in the whats app group tho - and that was just the parents!!!

Access to his friends phones is different from access to a mind numbing device 24/7 like we are today. We did not grow up that way yet are unable to pull ourselves from phone screens for the most part. At least our brains had time to develop without the constant dopamine hits. Most of us can lock in and put the phone down to get things done here and there. I think allowing your child to grow and have an attention span will benefit them in the long run. The tech CEOs aren’t in mass allowing their kids to use the same devices they mass advertise to us. We should follow.

Hey I think that's a wonderful idea. I would do the same here for my girls

While I think it is really great to talk about this stuff early, it is an ever evolving conversation. I have taken a lot of pressure off myself by concluding I don’t know exactly what kind of kid he will be, what the need for the tech will be or even the tech we will be dealing with. I will not commit to any hard fast rule but know I want social media to be limited

Hes not gonna be the only kid his age with restrictions on tech. Theres no way I want my kid just out there on the internet unsupervised

You should send me a message … I think your concerns are EXTREMELY VALID

You are 100% on track. Your brother is out of line. It's your child. The fact he could occasionally get access to his friends' phones at school isn't an excuse - it doesn't mean you give him free access yourself. At school he has other shit to do. He's not sitting on the couch scrolling endlessly, hiding out in his room, scrolling all night long. You are completely right to think about your child's brain development in a technology-prolific society, and I wish more parents would be as aware and preventative as you are. The fact it's normal now does not make it automatically okay.