Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?

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There is often online therapy or for a really cheap solution you could use Gemini AI app by Google to talk through things. It's an ai by Google that problem solves and though it's not a licensed therapist it does have access to every therapy resource online and it's a calm way to talk through things with solutions, plus it's a written record with a plan for going forward

I’m pretty sure I have an avoidant attachment (among my many other issues), but I can’t afford therapy for this as it’s at the bottom of my agenda even though it probably underlines a lot of my issues.

I find Heidi Preibe’s YouTube channel really helpful, she also has videos for people partnered with someone with an avoidant attachment.

I don't think being avoidant is directly linked to his lack of intimacy and romance. It may just not be him.

I hear you on this. My partner is the same, and we have this exact same problem. Sending lots of love to you♡

What about reading the books come as you are and come together by Dr emily nagoski? Theres also other self help style books out there if those dont work for you.

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