Big baby comments

So I have an objectively big baby (98th centile), but I’m getting really frustrated with how often people point it out. My MIL is down for the weekend and within the first half hour she’d said “look at the size of her” six times, and kept commenting on how chubby she is and how well breastfeeding must be going (which it isn’t, it’s been really difficult and we’ve had to seek support almost every week due to latch issues and pain etc). But people comment all the time that she’s massive and I can’t help but feel upset and a bit sensitive about it.

I think this gets to me so much because I just don’t want her growing up with people telling her she’s big or different. I had a very severe eating disorder for 16 years from a young age so I may be projecting a little, but I’m hyper conscious that I don’t want her to feel awkward about her size if she grows up to be a bigger girl. Her dad is really tall so it’s fairly inevitable, and i just feel with girls people will make her feel like big is bad, although I know when they’re babies no one means it that way. I will be trying to help her see this as a positive, that it’s her strength, but growing up as a tall girl myself I always felt so awkward and big around everyone and it made me shy, my self esteem was awful as I just felt cumbersome and different. Whatever I may do to support her at home, I worry that kids might pick on her or adults will treat her differently (eg as though she’s older than she is and should be more mature than she can be), as from experience and speaking to people this always seems to be the way it goes…

I’m not really looking for anything from posting this I don’t think. Just wondering if anyone’s had similar experiences.

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I know it’s hard to put a positive spin on it, especially with your own experiences but I’m 100% sure the comments come from a good place and people are so happy to see your beautiful girl doing so well (even tho you have your challenges!). When you hear the comment, you can respond with “yes, we’re fortunate she is healthy.” And keep repeating the word ‘healthy.’ People will pick up on it, and they can actually change their vocab and understanding. If someone is really getting to you, you can correct them and say “the correct terminology is healthy.” The stare at them. And lastly, remember your MIL may have had or seen little babies, that weren’t as healthy … so is comparing how amazing you are both doing. 💞

People always comment on how big my son is or how much hair he has. I have no advice, I sometimes find it annoying too. I mostly try to smile and ignore it? But yeah it’s like …ok? What do you want me to say to that?

Slightly different but my girl is the opposite. Very small but I get the same! Lots of comments about how small she is so I can totally understand how frustrating it is when people constantly point it out! I'm also very short and have been used to people pointing that out my whole life and assuming I'm not capable of certain things. I think I'm just hoping that as she gets older people will just stop using it as a means of 'defining' her as there will be other things. If that makes sense? Just wanted you to know that you aren't alone in feeling that way, even coming from a slightly different angle x

I also have a big girl and I find important to always point out that she is JUST A BABY, her size doesn’t matter, what annoys me more is that people tend to think she suppose to be more mature or developed than she is because of her size, so I always say she is just a newborn, she is only one month old. I don’t have any advice really, I just don’t let people’s comments sit in, I always “defend” her. I believe it’s important to advocate for them.

Thank you all 🤍 it’s good to know I’m not being overly sensitive. I just don’t understand why people feel the need to comment on her size. I know babies don’t have a lot of other stuff going on that you can immediately comment on so maybe it’s just easy to comment on what you can see, but I just want people to leave her alone and stop obsessing over how big she is. Talk about how alert and engaged she is, how cool her fuzzy hair is, how great her smile is. I really hope this stops as she gets older and people start seeing her as a person rather than an object 😅

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Baby clothes

Just out of curiosity, why do parents love zipper onesies?

Don’t get me wrong, I tried zipper ones it’s easy to zip in and out when putting it on the first time and taking it out, but I find it difficult when changing diapers especially when baby is asleep.

I prefer those kimono style buttons where it’s easy to button or too down button with crotch snaps.

Is everyone thinking the same or different? Lol

At this point I’m not enjoying motherhood

My 22 month old is horrendous at the moment🫣 biting, hitting, pushing, pulling and shoving not only adults but children he also wants what other children have and will just snatch it away from them.

We repeat ‘nice hands’ ‘be gentle’ ‘let’s share’ etc

But how do I make him understand what he’s doing isn’t very nice? At the end of the day I feel like I’ve just been saying his name all day and nothing else.

What can I do?

This might rattle some people

Ok, this might get a bit long, and a bit bumpy, so get comfy and buckle up.

So about a week or 2 ago, there was a post on here regarding sleepovers. Not letting their child go to them as you can't trust who'll be at the house etc.

Now, given recent incidents in nurseries and schools, plus my own experience back in the 90s, I am more concerned about sending my child to nursery and later school than I am to a friend's house for a sleep over.

The other day a man was jailed for abusing children at the nursery he worked at. A woman has been arrested for sleeping with an underage boy and then getting pregnant by a different underage boy while on bail for the first offence.

Young girls and boys get sexually harassed and bullied when at school, not all of them. But more than you think. And not just by other kids, but by adults who we as parents are trusting to look after our kids.

A sleepover, is a more controlled environment, with only a handful of people coming into contact with your child. A school, a club etc there can be 100s of people coming into contact with your child.

I was targeted at 7 years old by the owner of a prominent private school. Thankfully, I wasn't SA'd. In year 5 of primary school, I started to develop early, I was harassed by the boys and teachers made remarks about how my uniform didn't fit right, always "adjusting it" around my chest and legs.

Years 7-9 of secondary school were hell. But it was all under the guise of "we're just messing around". A teacher twanging my exposed bra strap (none uniform day) is not "messing around".

Boys pinning me down trying to rip open my shirt to see my breasts.

I fear for my daughter. I hope she takes after my father's family, flat chested.

We need to educate all our children, what is acceptable behaviour. And to come to us, as their parents should ANYTHING happen.

Dummy

My baby has had a dummy since about 2 weeks old (now 5 months) and over the course of the last month we weaned her off it during the day only for naps and night (which was fine) and then 5 days took it completely away during the day.

The first day no dummy was fine, the second bit rougher. But now it feels impossible she just moans and cries all the time it takes ages for her to go down to sleep (she’s always been an amazing sleeper)

I thought it was meant to get better as time went on not worse. I’m at my wits end I dunno what to do.

Currently typing this as she screams uncontrollably in the car and I cry with her cos I can’t do anything.

Help

My LO every feed. Drs don’t seem to think it’s a problem the whole Muslim cloth gets soaked so much I’m using towels now. I’ve tried size O teats he gets really frustrated and still spills it out :(

Is this normal?

My 12m old is really funny with kids going near him, he’s always been this way, but anytime family’s kids sit next to him or head his way he moans or cries and moves away. He also really observes them and is never really relaxed, always looking over his shoulder. Has anyone experienced this? (He’s starting nursery properly tomorrow so hoping this helps) but is this normal?