weight loss, 4months postpartum

I'm really struggling to eat enough. baby is 4months and Exc breastfeeding. i was always a small lady but now im even smaller than i was pre pregnancy. the weight has just dropped off.

I used to love cooking healthy recepies with alternative dairy free ingredients, but now cooking takes me half the day so really frequently I order takeaway. can't afford this much longer. and I don't enjoy doing it

LO always needs my attention, laundry and housework is non stop. I feel like I'm whizzing around trying to do everything and not able to take care of myself the way I used to. when people see me they think I'm doing so well coz the weight has gone quick and I'm slim but really I feel weak and rundown.

I love my baby and motherhood so much so that's where where my happiness comes from. this is what friends/ family see when they visit.

truth is I'm always hungry and feel like I need looking after. my mum would have 100% cooked for me but she sadly passed away the year b4. my partner works late half the week and doesn't have much time for anything other than his work.

in the early weeks friends bought food over which was wonderful but now baby is older and labour recovery has passed this has stopped

I just need help figuring out how to feed myself effectively and simply

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Batch cooking is good then freezing so you know you’ve got some good meals ready to go! Maybe try and do a few batches at the weekends when your other half is around?
Also washing needs to be done yes but housework, that’s something which can wait until your other half is home again, either they can do some or spend time with baby and you can. Xx

If you enjoy healthy meals, then it’s easy to just stick everything in the oven, I.e chicken and veg, fish and veg. Grains you can cook in advance and keep in the fridge. I even pre cooked oats with my first one. Then just reheated with a solash of fresh milk. I think this is also about priorities. decide to prioritise food.

I struggle to eat too. It's finding time to cook 'properly' so I can eat properly. I can find time to feed the rest of the family though.
This made me realise that I DO have the time but choose not to spend it on my self. I know that is something to work through.
In the meantime, I leave snacks around the house so I can at least keep my energy up. I leave bottles of water around the house too. I try to remember No food = no breast milk.
When I do get in the kitchen, I cook an extra portion for the fridge so I can have food in less than 5 min.
I'm guessing that if you are into meal replacement shakes, these could help. (I'm not personally).
And there is always asking those same friends to help you out again. When folk say, let me know if I can help, they actually can now.
Fitting in meals will get easier (it did with the other children).
I know how you feel about needing looking after. I wish my Ma could do so for me, but I have to look after her nowadays.

@LittleMi Thank you, what type of snacks do you have?

I like cereal bars and flapjacks. I also have jaffa cakes (not the healthiest). These sit on shelves near my breastfeeding areas. I have grab and go breakfasts e.g. croissants, yoghurts and hot cross buns. Hope this helps

@LittleMi great advice, thanks so much! a

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Divorced at 5 months PP

My husband just divorced me yesterday.

I'm 5 months post partum and I feel like complete shit. I literally can't stop crying and I don't feel like eating and this whole week my milk supply has gone down due to stress and not eating. What helps with milk supply?

The divorce- on Monday at 5am me and my husband had a small argument on text. It was regarding him not catering to my love language. I sent him a video on how women shouldn't have to ask and how laziness can kill a relationship. We've had many arguments regarding this prior about him not catering to my love language and he doesn't buy me flowers or doesn't think of me. Anyways this night, he text me saying he doesn't do Mother's Day and all that, he doesn't want to buy me flowers because my sisters buy me flowers and he can't be arsed with my moods. He said I've not been his peace and said he's done.
I replied "okay. All I want is for you to appreciate me and love me as your wife and mother of your child. I'm not pushing you away, I'm begging you to love me etc etc. I'm done too."

I come home from my errands that morning and he's upped and left. He took all of his belongings, clothes, drawer, tv- everything.

He didn't ring or text me or anything.

The property is in my name and as he left and didn't leave the key, I changed the locks the next day. I feel this is what pushed him over the edge.

He officially divorced me on Saturday.
I'm 5 months post partum and I have a 5 year old from my ex partner too.

I just want to talk about it with someone that's not biased. Was I asking for too much? I feel he just didn't want to be with me anymore and used this as an excuse? Or is that me overthinking....
Input would be nice xoxo

Partner is giving me the silent treatment

So I was struggling with my postpartum anxiety bad yesterday. My partner and I was out for drinks with family. He kept making jokes about treating me a bit shit.
Which no one thought was funny. I am usually quite patient about him using me as his jokes, but yesterday it hurt.

When we got home I told him it made me feel disrespected. Now he is giving me the cold fat shoulder?! What do I do ?

wtf moment?

I have been going back and forth with my husband lately. Well not lately it’s been years. He is the best husband and father you could ask for; for two weeks. Then he’s inconsistent. It drives me mad. Then he’s back to husband and dad of the year , then back to same inconsistency. I talked to him about this last night and he said “if i was lovey dovey and acted like this all the time you’d get bored and cheat on me.”

Ok so for starters i know some of you are going to say omg omg omg super controlling omg leave omg. No im not doing that. Im happy he finally admitted his wrong doing and taking accountability for it but id like to know the deeper reason, the what the f has him thinking like this reason, the personality trait reason. He’s obviously scared I’m going to leave him; so much so that he’s doing this dumb shit to prevent it. Past trauma? What do y’all think I can do to get him to see I’m not going anywhere? I’m consistent already, I married him, we have a baby. He really is the love of my life. I have never loved another man like this before.. but this shit is for the birds and he thinks he’s keeping me doing this but in actuality it’s making me lose respect and detach.

worried about a family members baby

So this child is three months old and she isn’t being fed from 10pm till 6/7 am idk if this is normal or safe and it’s been like this since 2 months i believe as she won’t wake her for feeds she goes to the pub drinking most nights with her baby and her baby has already been in hospital with a very low temperature bc she was outside but as soon as she was in a warm car she warmed up and doctors said she was fine she lets cats play with her bouncers toys that go over her and doesn’t strap her in she is cold from what i’ve heard from other family members and they’ve tried to warm her hands and she’s wet herself at my parents and she hasn’t had a spare vest to put on her and i offered her a blanket as she didn’t have one and she declined and she won’t listen to anyone about it she’s already left the baby with my parents for the night to go out drinking and personally i couldn’t leave my three month old because my parents said she just cried and im really unsure whether to report her or not and her house smells of dog wee/poo as she’s never home to look after them and that’s not safe for the baby i understand being lonely but she doesn’t need to go to the pub every night her friends could
go
to hers or her she could go to a cafe that has closed doors not sat outside a cold pub and it’s a bit of a rough pub in my opinion

my parents are concerned btw but they say i shouldn’t report her as it’s not fair but i feel how the baby is treated isn’t fair

FTM

Hello,
FTM here. At what age do you stop applying cream on nappy area during nappy changes? My 2 year old boy isn’t toilet ready yet but uses both nappy pants/pull ups and regular diapers

Forgiving a partner…

Long story short - found out 2 months ago my partner of almost 10 years has slept with two girls, one of which he’s been seeing for 8 months - during this time I was pregnant with our third child and gave birth. (She had an abortion)
I found out, he cut all ties (still works with her)
I want to try and move on from this, we have three children , and a home… I can’t face the idea of being without my children half the time. I want to try and make things work. But I can’t stop the intrusive thoughts / images of the two of them together…. Any advice if you’ve been in a similar situation?
Sick of feeling this rubbish, also 5 month pp so hormones/confidence is in pieces😣😣😣