Really swollen down there

I’ve not once done a perineal massage, I had to stop having sex before even being told I should start doing them because of how sore I was down below!
There are measures in place so you don’t tear right through, it’s just an extra thing to protect yourself in case so it’s not a huge necessity!

But I am extremely nervous to give birth, because of the amount of times I’ve had to ice down below without even giving birth yet🙈

I used to have to sit with an ice pack down there to ease the swelling and soreness 😂 helped a lot x

If your worried about tearing during labor just ask for a warm compress and lubrication🫶🏽I didn’t do my perineal massages like I did with my first bby but I had my second bby yesterday and didn’t tear so high recommend warm compress and lubrication

I had the same complaint that it was so sore and tight down there that when I did perineal massage it hurt and didn’t feel helpful. My midwives said that perineal massage is not necessary and there’s controversial science on whether it’s always helpful - they reminded me that my body will know what to do and how to open up!! So if it doesn’t feel good, don’t do it! :)

I literally teared myself trying to do the massage & got myself in such a state that if I’m tearing now, what will I be like in labour etc etc. Ultimately going to have to listen to my body now & stop putting it through additional discomfort before necessary. Trusting it knows what to do but always good to know you’re not the only one 🤞🤞

Thank you everyone for your responses, this made me feel so much better! I’m ditching the idea of thinking perineal massage is a must, we just need to trust our body

I’m sure we’re all going to do so well, wishing everyone a safe birth 🫶🏼

Baby number four and never even tried perineal massage but also never had a single stitch! I wouldn’t worry. Last time we had sex was a couple of weeks ago and honestly I knew it was time to give it up due to how everything felt. I was also quite sore after. I think it’s just our bodies saying they’re trying to do a job and they need their space 😂 Your midwife will more than likely guard your perineum - trust dependant (some are hands on and some are hands off in their approach) so don’t worry about it too much. I’m a third year student midwife and only ever known one woman have a deep enough tear that required a doctor to suture (other than episiotomy) Most tears are small which midwives can sort right after! Our bodies are made to do this! Trust it ❤️ X