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New single mums / mums struggling/ single mums

Lonely, hurt, stressed

I’m going through so much, I’m basically a single mom. I have a 2 yr old and I’m not with his father, he’s in his life once a month maybe at that. He will get him diapers n wipes when he does have him. We split for multiple reasons it was a very abusive narcissist relationship. I had to have cameras on me 24-7… as in showering and even if I was sick I had to make sure that camera was on if not I was “cheating” he drove me insane until I could not do it anymore. Then a few months after we ended I rekindled my relationship with a ex boyfriend. He seemed like he changed and was so much different and positive. We got into a relationship fast and things were great he moved in had a wonderful relationship with my son, I found out I was pregnant he was happy but scared which is understandable. My mom and him got into an argument 3 months after us finding out we’re expecting(he didn’t say anything more of her going off on him for things that had nothing to do with him) and he moved back out. Ever since then he’s been extremely distant. It’s been about a month since he’s been gone and he hasn’t made ANY effort to see me. I’ve tried so many times. The only time we did see each other is for the babies appt. He was very sweet and loving, affectionate payed for my breakfast made sure I was okay. Told me not to cry when we dropped him off like he was showing he cared sm. Then boom next day he’s distant barely talking he’ll call MAYBE once a day maybeeee it’s always me texting him first or me calling him. I’m always letting him know I miss him and I love him how excited I am for the baby and he’ll say he loves me but that’s really it. He’s said I miss you a few times. But tn I was having a hard night so I called him and obv I’m crying saying I miss him and he just wants to say no you don’t I love you gn. I begged him to stay otp and he just acts so nonchalant and says he doesn’t miss me and that he doesn’t care to see me. I asked how could he feel like that when I’m his girl an he just says idk that just how I feel. I asked so what am I suppose to do? And he says idk whatever. I do not want to lose him but I can’t keep going like this. I deserve to feel loved and comforted. I shouldn’t be stressed to the point it’s hard for me to eat. My doctor said he thinks I’ve been having anxiety attacks and he heard all of that and he just doesn’t care now? But the day my ob said all of it he showed so much compassion. How can you go from caring for me one day and not the next?