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Rainbow Babies: TTC, Pregnancy, & After Pregnancy Or Infant Loss

Feeling alone in this

My partner and I are falling out, I feel so alone in this, he’s putting words in my mouth and twisting what I say.
I bought a sign when I was pregnant with my son and it said “All the good things are better with you”, my son is the one that died during labour 3 months ago. I now have a very very early pregnancy and I I told my partner that the sign is still for our son and the meaning is very true, I would rather he’s still here (of course). He took it the wrong way and said what would others think and I said fuck what others think, this is our baby (wtf) and he* said I can’t go around saying that I’d rather my son than the other baby, I told him this is a conversation between him and I, I never said that but now he’s bringing it up, that is how I feel because I carried him for almost 42weeks (midwives refused to induce me or book me in for c section) and I gave birth to him. But my point was that I’d rather him here TOO, so I clarified that and he’s trying to tell me what “rather” means, I told him that “rather” doesn’t have one meaning, it’s not always used as a comparison over something equal. I’d rather my son here, with any circumstances that we’re in. I told him he’s making me feel alone in this because I already have people upsetting me with their unnecessary cruel words when I’m grieving and needing a friend and he knows how I’ve been feeling. He turned something so meaningful into a heartless comparison. It’s so easy for him to move on, he was the one sleeping during labour when I needed him, now I’m starting to feel resentment.