Really disappointed with my husband
Our LO is 6 months. My husband works a lot. I’m grateful and proud of him for granting sometimes 12/14 hour days. He wakes up at 3am too. It’s just the two of his we don’t have any relatives close by and not at the stage yet with friend that we’d ever ask them to watch over a baby (plus we don’t anyone to watch her anyway) with our LO she is EBF. I feed her day and night. I also change every single one of her nappies, I dress her, bathe her, put her to sleep and play and develop her every single day. I know all mums know how hard this is. However our LO still going through what feels like regression and teething. In the last week she’s been worse than normally waking up almost every hour. I’ve been exhausted and so has my husband he’s exhausted from work. BUT I’m just really pissed off with him lately for a few reasons;
He goes to play football every Friday and then normally goes for a few pints after BUT lately he’s been doing overtime too on a sat but it means cos he starts at 3am… gets back from pub on Friday 12 he’s only sleeping three hours and going to work but then we he comes on Saturdays after work he’s so exhausted cos 3 hours sleep hello and then “needs a nap” then sleeps for like 4 hours. Which is time again I’ve not had any help with our daughter. It’s like in 24 hours I feel like he’s only with her for a couple of hours. When he’s not sleeping he’s spending time sh*tting or like the other day I was cooking some food he comes with her asks me to hold her cos he wanted to do the dishes. It honestly feels like sometimes he just doesn’t wanna held her. It’s so hurtful :(
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I also have a husband that works a lot so I know a bit about how you feel - he also works away in London Tuesday-Thursday/Friday so is only in the house with us for half of the week.
Our baby is also EBF which, although I’m glad to be doing, does mean he feels more off the hook at weekends as he cant feed her. I think this also means he isn’t confident on settling her so this might be how your husband feels. And he was trying to help you with the dishes?
Can you start by carving out an activity that you do all together and need him for? We started doing her bath together on the evenings he is here.
Re activities I would say that doesn’t sound fair - my husband does a jog for his mental health but then we make sure to have some family time too. Can you ask him to limit his drink at the pub to 1 so he has more time for you?
Do you plan to go back to work at any point? He needs to step up on looking after baby at weekends if you are to go back?
I feel you with this, my partner is a dairy farmer he does 12 days on 2 days off and does 14 hour days but then we have our own sheep so he’s out every other night after work at the minute as we’re coming up to lambing and I do everything in the house including looking after 4 dogs.
I’ve got used to the hard bits but sometimes I get so resentful and lonely, my parents live 45 mins away and we don’t have any other family.
We’ve had a few spats over things where I feel like it’s a competition of who is the most tired.
I don’t really have any answers for you, other than just try and find your own routine don’t expect anything from them.
I have started giving my son a bottle of breast milk at night and I ask his dad to come home before he goes out again and he gives it him.
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