need advice

okay this is my first baby im 35 weeks me and my bd separated when I was 6 months. I pushed aside all my feelings so my baby can have two parents but he does not respect me in the slightest. Last night he sat up telling me hes gonna beat me, disrespecting my family, my dead dad and everything. Telling me he hates me he hopes I die. How can I trust him with my child if he feels this way about me. I told him this and now hes blaming me threatening to take me to court and that I’m not being logical and letting my feelings take over. and how our baby has nothing to do with it calling me bitter but how can I trust somebody that says all those terrible things to me with my child. What do I do?

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yes my bd is a classic narcissist

Having one parent is better than having two when one of them is abusive and untrustworthy
I wouldn't trust a man who threatened to beat me with my child for even a moment. If you live in a one party consent state, I would start recording any conversations you have with him in case he does take you to court

girl yes beat my ass at 35 weeks pregnant all because of something I posted on ig. And now I’m saying ion trust him around my child, I’m bitter and using the baby as leverage

Don't trust him. Gather your evidence and protect yourself and your child

He has no rights of the baby until you put him name on the birth certificates, until then the child is 100% all yours it’s when you put his name on the birth certificate he gets 50/50 so if he’s abuse and you’re worried about your baby’s safety around him I wouldn’t even give him that privilege x

I’d love to know what you posted on ig for it to warrant that sort of behaviour. Jeez, things sound really nasty.

all I posted was a picture of myself with the thing where people can put questions

Leave and don't look back. Go far. You shouldn't have to live in fear

I would definitely keep everything as evidence if he did decide to go to court however I’m happy for you to message

in our community

Wdy think of this for a toddler to learn word construction?

I'm open to anything else to start teaching him to read and write. He's 3!

Do men really enjoy fellatio?

Been together more than 10 years, but it's been a while since he even seemed remotely interested in me getting on my knees, or vice versa so to speak. I think it was once last year. Must be something I am doing wrong 🤔. Generally everything else in that department is great and we have two young kids with no extra support, so it's quite surprising we can't keep our hands off each other but may need to try new things. It's basically 2 positions each time with some foreplay.

I think Motherhood has made me more bitter than I realized…

This is such a ramble but I don’t know where else to put it all.

I’m four months in and I don’t really have hobbies right now. I don’t do anything for myself except maybe doomscrolling or listening to a podcast while I breastfeed my baby. I used to craft and have game nights with friends. Activities that usually are at least 2 hour stretches. Now if I have an hour free my mind immediately goes to baby, or doing something in the house for baby.

And I thought I didn’t mind. Like I knew postpartum could be very mentally consuming. But I think it’s altering how I view people around me and it’s prodding at my relationship with my husband.

He spends most of his time making food for us, looking after our dogs, playing with the baby, ect. But he still has time for his hobby. Spends maybe an hour a night on it. Even adapted to using a bot for shopping for his hobby after a certain incident where we had to have a heart to heart after he left me home alone with the baby for hours during a busy workday (I work from home) to shop for his hobby.

And yet there’s like this little green eyed monster in me that rages every time I know he’s running off to start up the bot. Even though I’m the reason he does it this way.

We took a family trip last weekend to see his best friend and their kids and let them meet the baby. He brought the laptop. He’s always brought a laptop on trips and it’s never been a problem to me before. But one night we both woke up while the baby was still asleep, and he wandered out of the room. I tried to fall back asleep but couldn’t. So I went to the kitchen to try having something warm to drink to settle me. And he was there at the table running the bot from his laptop. I flipped out at him. But there really wasn’t reason to. It’s not like I needed help with the baby and he was ignoring me. He wasn’t avoiding our friends. He was just awake and unable to sleep and found something to do with his time. Yet my snap reaction was “why the hell would you do this on a family trip?”

I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the less complete sleep from baby’s middle of the night feed? My brain being just consumed by baby? Maybe I’m not as over that shopping incident as I thought? But I’m just so annoyed at his hobby right now. The green eyed monster thinks “you could be using that time differently” but realistically to do what exactly??? Stare at our baby in the dark???

I spent probably an hour apologizing to him after I snapped. And he’s of course hurt and frustrated because I said some very mean things in the moment.

I don’t want to be this jealous, angry person. But I also don’t know how to find time for myself in this right now outside of basic hygiene. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to be myself, even if just for an hour.

Maybe I need a therapist.

Naps

How is everyone doing for naps?

Little one is 9 months old and will have 2 half hour naps and one solid 1 hour - 2 hour nap a day

Then settles for night around 9pm. Wakes for a feed around 3:30 then sleeps until 6-7

Vaccination advice

I’m really looking for advice and opinions on vaccines for my baby. I’m not against getting them but also just don’t feel like I know enough about them to make a decision just yet as I’ve had people say to me they don’t agree with them and they can cause issues etc… so I just want as much info as possible. What are everyone’s thoughts and experiences of vaccinating your child? I’m just interested to see everybody’s views (no judgement as I just want to know I’m doing the right thing) thank you x

Stroller

Hey,

Baby is getting slightly too heavy for his travel system now.

I was just wondering want strollers people recommended. Thank you